Chapter 1
Chapter 1
Elder Sister frowned slightly and said in disapproval:
“But everyone is writing one. If you don’t, I’m afraid people will laugh at you.”
But Elder Sister didn’t know.
Compared with ten years of torment in the deep inner courtyard of the Marquis Manor,
other people’s laughter was hardly worth mentioning.
I lowered my eyes, my lips trembling.
“But you can write one for me this time, not the next. My crudeness and lack of wit are obvious at a glance. How could I ever hide them in public?”
Elder Sister froze for a moment.
After a long while, she gently drew me into her arms.
“Nonsense. Elder Sister’s Suisui isn’t crude at all!”
When Mother died, I was six, and Elder Sister was eight.
When I was seven, a severe fever damaged my mind, and I became slow and dull.
I could no longer take in books.
Even the simplest characters Elder Sister taught me over and over, I would often forget.
Within a few years, I had become the famous “Miss Slow-Witted” of the capital.
Elder Sister blamed herself terribly.
She believed my dullness was her fault, that she had failed to notice my high fever in the middle of the night and had summoned the doctor too late.
Elder Sister protected me and loved me.
Whatever was best within her reach, she would always find a way to bring it to me.
A fresh breeze curled around the pavilion, and tree shadows slanted across the ground.
Elder Sister looked toward the noble young ladies before the waterside terrace, all vying to present their poems, and stroked my hair with tender affection.
“The purpose of today’s poetry gathering at the Marquis Manor is to choose a wife for the household’s Second Young Master.”
“Second Young Master Pei and I have been literary friends for years. Although he will not inherit the title, he is still graceful, distinguished, and extraordinarily talented.”
“Our Suisui is so wonderful. Naturally, only a man like that is worthy of you.”
“Besides, he knows your situation. After seeing you once by chance, he took a liking to you as well. Before coming to the poetry gathering, he told Elder Sister that as long as a poem is submitted in your name to satisfy the elders, he will choose you as his wife and treasure you for the rest of your life.”
“Be good, Suisui. Let Elder Sister write for you just this once more. Once you marry into Yongning Marquis Manor, our Suisui’s life will be settled and peaceful.”
Elder Sister spoke softly and gently, persuading me to accept it as she always did whenever she found me some precious treasure.
Every sentence was for my sake. Every word was filled with love.
Hearing it, I nearly burst into tears.
But Elder Sister, Pei You was not a good man.
After we married, he despised me in every possible way.
He often told me that if I had not cheated at the poetry gathering,
he would never have married me.
In that life, I did not live in peace as you had wished.
In my previous life, because of the poem Elder Sister wrote, I married into Yongning Marquis Manor.
Everyone envied that marriage.
Those who knew the truth about me all said Pei You was young and yearning for love, so dazzled by beauty that he lost his judgment.
That was why he disregarded my stupidity and married me.
I believed that too.
Until a family banquet.
I failed to understand an allusion mentioned by a young female cousin of the Marquis Manor.
She covered her mouth and laughed behind her hand.
“I had thought someone as clever as Cousin would admire women of celebrated literary talent. Who would have expected Cousin to prefer someone more innocent and guileless…”
I did not hear the malice in her words.
Thinking she was praising me, I pressed my lips together and smiled shyly.
“You flatter me, Younger Sister.”
The instant my words fell, the entire hall went silent.
I realized I had said the wrong thing.
At once, I looked helplessly toward Pei You.
He sat beside me with an ugly expression, tightening his grip on the white jade chopsticks in his hand.
He had no intention at all of rescuing me from the situation.
Tears swam in my eyes.
Just as I was so anxious I was about to cry,
a soft laugh came from the center of the banquet hall.
“Sister-in-law’s interpretation of that allusion has quite a unique charm. I seem to have seen something similar in a rare manuscript by a great scholar.”
I looked up.
The person who had saved me was Pei You’s most hated elder brother, the Heir Apparent of the Marquis Manor, Pei Ying.
After we returned to our room, I threw myself into Pei You’s arms and complained coquettishly, full of grievance:
“Husband, why didn’t you help me just now? If not for Big Brother, I would have lost so much face tonight!”
Pei You’s face instantly turned cold.
“In this entire manor, the person I hate most is Pei Ying. Tonight, you made me lose every scrap of dignity in front of him, and you still have the nerve to mention him to me? And you, if you could write that poem at the poetry gathering, why don’t you even know such a simple allusion?”
He seized my wrist and raised his voice.
“Or are you saying that poem wasn’t written by you at all?”
Only then did I learn that he had married me because of that poem.
For a moment, I was stunned. Blankly, I asked:
“If I wasn’t the one who wrote the poem, then… do you not like me anymore?”
Pei You’s answer rang out with absolute certainty.
“No, I don’t.”
My heart seemed to turn to ice in an instant.
Holding back my tears, I spoke in anger:
“Elder Sister wrote that poem for me because she was afraid I would be humiliated.”
“Since you do not like me, why don’t we separate?”
That night, Pei You slept in the study.
I clutched the quilt and cried until my eyes were swollen.
From then on, Pei You treated me as though I did not exist.
I, too, had been raised by Elder Sister, cherished like a pearl, treasured like a jewel.
So I kept my face cold and treated him like dust beneath my feet.
Our estrangement was discovered by Old Madam.
Pei You was summoned to the main courtyard and scolded.
That night, he, who had always slept in the study, returned to my room.
Ignoring my resistance, he untied the sash of my skirt, his eyes scarlet.
“If you hadn’t cheated at the poetry gathering, how could I ever have married you?”
“Pei Ying will certainly marry a talented woman. I am already inferior to him in every way. Once his wife enters the household, you will surely be compared to her and trampled into the mud, making me lose face.”
“I truly regret marrying you. My wife should never have been a woman like you, empty beauty on the outside, without a single drop of ink in your belly.”
“Ming Sui, you were the one who insisted on marrying me. From now on, no matter how I treat you, you will endure it!”
From that day on, Pei You spent every night in my room.
As if he never tired, he entangled himself with me again and again.
I was unwilling.
He pinched my jaw, chased my lips with his, and spoke in a contemptuous tone:
“You have none of the dignified bearing of a proper wife. That fox-like seductiveness of yours is only somewhat useful in bed. Why put on such an affected display of chastity?”
His words pierced my heart, each one cutting deep.
Tears fell in large drops.
Pei You ignored them completely, his movements growing even rougher.
I became afraid.
Yet every time I cast everything aside and tried to leave,
Pei You, who held a post at the Ministry of Personnel Office, would threaten me with Elder Sister’s husband’s career:
“If you dare step even half a pace out of the Marquis Manor without my permission, your Elder Sister and brother-in-law will rot away in Lingnan for the rest of their lives!”
So when I accidentally fell into the water,
as I sank into the emerald-green lake, dazed and drifting, I thought:
If I could live my life over again,
I would never marry him.