Noble Consort Qin was a peerless beauty, alluring enough to make the emperor cast aside his first wife and depose his legitimate son.
With tender eyes, Noble Consort Qin murmured, “His Majesty and I were joined as husband and wife in our youth. We are as devoted as a pair of mandarin ducks…”
Emperor Gaozu, inveterate male chauvinist: “Lady Qin is a mere concubine. How could she possibly have been joined to Us in our youth?”
“Throw this insolent wretch into the cold palace at once-and bring Us five hundred jin of memorials!”
◆ Male-chauvinist emperors with a single-minded devotion to a rich nation and a powerful army ◆
◆ We have no need of love. We want GDP! ◆
Notes:
1. This is a male-lead story in a fictional setting, and an unconventional quick-transmigration novel told through feudal monarchs who enter romance stories.
2. The emperors are written as typical rulers of feudal eras. They care only about raising GDP and have no time for romance. And yes, they truly are male chauvinists. Emphasis very much intended.
3. This is a wish-fulfillment story hostile to the pampered-concubine trope, with face-slapping and scum getting what they deserve. The emperors’ values do not represent the author’s. Please do not derail the discussion.
4. The direction and pace of the plot are entirely the author’s decision, and the author reserves the final right of interpretation.
1. The Emperors Reunite in the Underworld
In the seventeenth year of Huangtong in Great Zhou, the sovereign passed away.
A man in the Son of Heaven’s informal robes lay on the couch, already breathless. The fierce eyes that had once overawed all quarters were shut; never again would they look upon the realm he had conquered with his own hands.
Several senior ministers and imperial princes stood solemnly to either side. Beyond a curtain, the palace consorts knelt in an adjoining room, their muffled sobs drifting out. Outside the hall, palace attendants and eunuchs covered the ground in a dark mass, all wailing aloud.
The Crown Prince, Li Derun, stood to one side, his face bloodless. Attendants stepped forward to dress him in the Son of Heaven’s ceremonial crown and court robes, while other eunuchs presented the Six Imperial Seals.
His voice choked with grief, the Minister of the Imperial Clan came forward and implored, “The Late Emperor has passed. Your Majesty must proceed to Chongzheng Hall and ascend the throne at once, that your title and station may be set in order!”
The Crown Prince gave an almost imperceptible nod, his expression stricken. He turned and kowtowed three times to the Late Emperor upon the couch. When the rites were complete, he rose with grave composure and departed for Chongzheng Hall.
The Son of Heaven possessed all within the four seas, but the heights were bitterly lonely. His Imperial Mother had died three years ago; now that his Imperial Father was gone as well, he was truly alone in the world.
In the pale light before dawn, tears rolled from his eyes and struck the floor without a sound.
The Late Emperor was dead, but his spirit remained. Standing beside the bed, he watched his eldest son leave with reluctant eyes and called after him in anguish: “Construction has already begun on the imperial road from Jianzhou to Quanzhou. You must never let My death halt it. There are many old ministers at court, and redundant offices have begun to multiply. Be patient and deal with them gradually-do not take too large a step at once. Since I fell ill, the Northern Rong have repeatedly stirred. Once news of My death spreads, they will certainly make a move. You must guard against both arrogance and impatience…”
The Underworld’s envoys drove a soul-bearing carriage out of the void, its wheels rumbling. The hour of parting had come.
After one final look at his son’s resolute, upright back, the Late Emperor burst into tears. “Run’er, you and your brothers-take good care of yourselves!”
…
The Late Emperor’s surname was Li, and his personal name was Yuanda. He died on the sixteenth day of the fifth month in a gengzi year, at the age of forty-nine.
His achievements had been illustrious. He ushered in the golden age of Huangtong, brought prosperity to the people, and inaugurated four centuries of Zhou rule.
According to the laws of posthumous naming, one who ordered Heaven and Earth was Wen; one broad in virtue and learning was Wen; one diligent in study and eager to inquire was Wen; and one benevolent and loving toward the people was Wen. His posthumous name was therefore fixed as Wen, and his temple name as Gaozu. Thus was he known as Emperor Wen, Gaozu.
…
In the mortal world, Emperor Gaozu had been an enlightened Son of Heaven, protected by the Heavenly Dao. In death, he was no ordinary ghost. A party of underworld bailiffs respectfully escorted him to the Underworld, where his name and particulars were recorded before Yama. Then, in recognition of his outstanding achievements in life, the Ten Kings of Hell weighed his merits and faults and released him from the cycle of mortal existence, leaving his spirit imperishable.
He had been a heroic emperor among men. After crossing the threshold between life and death, Emperor Gaozu was dazed for only a few days before quickly recovering his equilibrium. He had a ghost servant lead the way and set off to tour the Underworld with considerable interest.
He passed the ghost-haunted Wangxiang Terrace, admired fields of red spider lilies stretching for ten thousand li, and paid his respects to the solemn, majestic Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva. After a lifetime spent looking upon the mortal realm’s mountains and rivers, he found roaming the far reaches of the Underworld rather diverting too.
Human emperors from every temporal dimension came to the Underworld after death, where the Ten Kings of Hell judged their merits and faults. Those whose accomplishments were brilliant enough to be handed down through the ages could become ghostly divinities and dwell in the Underworld forever, deathless and undying. Emperor Gaozu was assigned to this district as well.
On his second day after settling into his new home, someone sent over a visiting card. Emperor Gaozu unfolded it, took one look, and laughed. “Why, he even shares My surname…”
His eyes quickly swept over the card. He asked the ghost servant standing below, “What sort of Son of Heaven was this man surnamed Li and personally named Shimin? I have never heard of him. Do you know?”
The ghost servant replied with utmost deference, “This sovereign ruled Great Tang. He ushered in the golden age of Zhenguan and was considered an exceptionally enlightened ruler even within his own temporal dimension. His posthumous name was Wen and his temple name Taizong. He arrived before Your Majesty and owns the residence to the west.” He then gave a detailed account of the life, deeds, and failings of Emperor Wen, Taizong.
“Oh?” Emperor Gaozu listened with fascination, then clapped his hands and laughed. “He shares My surname and even bears the same posthumous name. I should very much like to meet a man with whom I share so curious a destiny.”
The visiting card proposed the following day, but Emperor Gaozu could not wait. He ordered a ghost servant to fetch some fine burial wine from his treasury, then carried it personally to call upon the residence to the west.
When Li Shimin heard from his ghost servant that an emperor surnamed Li had just moved in next door, he too found the coincidence extraordinarily pleasing and sent over a visiting card. To his surprise, his new neighbor came to call that very day.
He went out to welcome him in person and found a visitor who appeared about thirty, tall and broad, strikingly distinguished, with an unmistakable air of power about him. Li Shimin immediately thought well of the man. They exchanged a few laughing pleasantries and soon felt a strong mutual admiration. Li Shimin ordered his ghost servants to lay out a feast with wine, declaring that they must drink until they were thoroughly drunk.
Emperor Gaozu was bold and forthright by nature, while Li Shimin was no petty man himself. When their conversation reached its liveliest point, each fetched a weapon and went to the training ground for a contest. After a hundred exchanges, neither could gain the advantage. They threw back their heads and laughed, then returned to the banquet to drink together.
After more than an hour of passing cups back and forth, they inevitably began to talk about their experiences as emperors in the mortal world. From affairs of state, the conversation turned to their wives and children.
Emperor Gaozu heaved a long sigh, tears in his eyes. “My wife, Lady Xu, was gentle, virtuous, and wise. She stood at My side from our youth-truly, a companion bestowed by Heaven. When My temper rose, none of the ministers dared remonstrate with Me; she alone had the courage to speak plainly. How hateful that Heaven granted her so few years and took her before Me. Do not laugh at Me, Shimin, but had our children not remained, I would have wished to follow her in death…”
At this point, the two men discovered that they were fellow sufferers. Their shared sorrow cut even deeper.
Wiping away his tears, Emperor Gaozu said, “Not long after Empress Xu died, My youngest daughter fell ill and passed away too. She was our littlest child-only six years old. I had not even had time to choose a Prince Consort for her or grant her the richest fief before she followed her mother. An old man burying his own young…” The tears he had only just managed to stop began streaming down his face once more.
Li Shimin broke into wrenching sobs. “My Sizi! I gave my daughter that childhood name in the hope that she would be strong and free from illness, but instead… She was only twelve when she left me!”
The two mortal emperors wept face-to-face, and everyone within earshot shed sorrowful tears with them.
Zhu Yuanzhang walked in from outside with his hands clasped behind his back. At the sight, he sneered. “You are grown men. Why put on the airs of weeping children? All this sniveling is enough to make you a laughingstock! I heard that a certain Li Yuanda had just arrived-a man born among commoners who climbed all the way to the imperial throne. I thought at last there might be someone worth talking to. Yet the moment I step through the door, I find you two wailing in each other’s arms. Shameful!”
Emperor Gaozu took no offense. Nor did he wipe his tears. “The human heart is made of flesh. Are emperors somehow different from ordinary men? Shimin and I were recalling our virtuous wives, both lost too young, and the little daughters we each suffered to bury. Our sorrow brought us to tears. I fear we have made ourselves ridiculous before you.”
Zhu Yuanzhang thought of Empress Ma, who had also died too soon, and of his beloved son Zhu Biao. The mockery vanished from his face, leaving it bleak. He pulled over a chair, sat down, and muttered, “Pour me a cup too.”
Emperor Gaozu poured the wine for him personally, then asked, “And how should I address this gentleman?”
“His surname is Zhu, his given name Yuanzhang, and his courtesy name Guorui,” Li Shimin said by way of brief introduction. “He began with nothing but a begging bowl and ended up Son of Heaven. Quite a remarkable man.”
Emperor Gaozu smiled. “So it is Brother Zhu. I have been remiss.”
“What good is being emperor?” Zhu Yuanzhang lamented. Tears spilled from his eyes. “I could not even keep my old wife and son alive. And after my death, my sons and grandsons… Ah, forget it!”
Each of the three was lost in his own grief. No one spoke. A night wind shrieked past, carrying a burst of bloodcurdling screams to their ears, along with what seemed to be the iron tang of blood.
Emperor Gaozu’s expression changed slightly. He instinctively looked toward the source of the cries and the bloody scent, but Li Shimin clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Pay it no mind. It is nothing serious. Ying Zheng is merely beating his son at home.”
Emperor Gaozu stared at him in confusion. “What sort of Son of Heaven was Ying Zheng? If his son was permitted to come here, he too must have been an enlightened sovereign. Why beat him?”
“There is more to it than you know.” Zhu Yuanzhang topped up his cup, taking blatant pleasure in another man’s misfortune. “Ying Zheng was the first emperor in the worlds Shimin and I came from. Men called him the Ancestral Dragon. His achievements were magnificent, and he truly was an emperor for the ages. The son who lives with him is no ordinary son, either. The wretch neglected the government, slaughtered every one of his brothers and sisters, and drove an enormous empire to ruin. Even the Ten Kings of Hell could not stand it. They made a special exception and allowed him here to atone for his crimes and soothe the First Emperor’s rage.”
Understanding dawned on Emperor Gaozu. “I see.”
The words had barely left his mouth when a tall, brooding figure appeared in the doorway. One hand resting on his sword, Ying Zheng sneered, “And how are you any better? Your grandson killed your son; your son killed your grandson. The pot mocks the kettle!”
The taunt struck Zhu Yuanzhang where it hurt most. His expression changed abruptly, and he lurched to his feet to argue the matter through. Emperor Gaozu and Li Shimin each grabbed one side of him and forced him back down. “Drink, drink! Calm yourself!”
Ying Zheng gave a contemptuous snort. His tigerish gaze swept over the three faces at the table, and suspicion flickered across his own. At last, he looked at the only stranger, Emperor Gaozu. “So you are the newly arrived Li Yuanda? Have all three of you been crying?”
“That is correct. Greetings, Shi Huang.” Emperor Gaozu offered him the courtesy due an equal, neither servile nor overbearing. “The three of us thought of wives and children who died before their time. Grief overcame us, and so we wept.”
“You will find no sympathy from him,” Li Shimin said with a low laugh. “He never appointed an empress and was never especially close to any of his children. All he wanted was to unite the six states and live forever. He had no attention to spare for such things.”
Emperor Gaozu was astonished. “Oh?”
Ying Zheng lifted his head, proud and imperious. “We possess all beneath Heaven and strike awe throughout the eight wilds. Our achievements surpass the Three Sovereigns; Our virtue exceeds the Five Emperors. What woman in this world could stand shoulder to shoulder with Us? For all of you to be so ensnared by the affections of wives and children-what womanish behavior!”
Liu Che approached at a jaunty pace and jeered, “It was precisely because you were so harsh and cutting that your son feared you. One forged edict ordered him to take his own life, and he despaired and obeyed.”
Ying Zheng retorted without hesitation, “A man who drove both his wife and Crown Prince to their deaths has no right to say such a thing to Us!”
