chapter 4
Jin Ran looked down at me, his eyes cold as knives.
“You’ve gotten good at this,” he murmured with cutting contempt. “You must have practiced a lot over the years.”
The insult extinguished my anger.
I sat back on the bar and turned away. “If I’ve earned your approval, then I must have improved.”
On my last film, the director had constantly complained that my romantic scenes felt empty.
After enough failed takes, he waved his arms and demanded, “Yu Mian, why do you act as if your heart is dead? Have you never been in love? When you face the person you love, there should be light in your eyes and fire in your heart. Think of a man who makes your pulse race and your cheeks burn.”
So I thought of Jin Ran.
The feeling came at once. Every take after that went smoothly, and when I struggled to leave the emotion behind, people praised my dedication.
Nonsense. It was not dedication. Thinking of him simply made my feelings impossible to control.
Jin Ran stood in silence, then gave a low laugh. I did not need to see his face to know it was mocking.
He slammed the door behind him. My hand trembled, dropping cigarette ash across my clothes.
It hurt more than I wanted to admit.
I slept badly. The sound of my door opening woke me in the morning.
A woman in heels stormed to my bed and tore away the covers. “Yu Mian, do you know what time—”
Ms. Zhao stopped abruptly.
“Put some clothes on.” She threw the blanket back over me and turned away. “Indecent.”
Propping my chin on one hand, I laughed. “You know I sleep naked, yet you pulled off the covers. Did you do it on purpose?”
Her shoulders jerked.
“If you want to look, just look. Don’t pretend otherwise.”
She hurled a cushion at me. “If you don’t get up, I’ll scatter your ashes myself.”
“Women shouldn’t be so violent.”
“To hell with you.” She rolled up her sleeves.
“Fine, fine. I’m getting up.”
Under her murderous stare, I showered and dressed.
“Director Zhang finally agreed to give you an audition. Do not ruin it,” she warned in the car. “If you do, I’ll kill you.”
I looked at my phone. “Of course.”
Sisi had sent a message: Jin Ran came back from leave specifically for a blind date.
His family had been pressuring him for years. This time, they had chosen a woman of equal social standing. If today’s meeting went well, an engagement would follow.
I called her. “Has he met her?”
“Today, I think. Lin Yuanzhou mentioned it last night.”
“Where?”
“How would I know?” She paused. “What are you planning?”
I smiled. “Sabotage.”
After a moment, she said with certainty, “You won’t.”
She hung up and went to question Lin Yuanzhou.
When my audition ended that afternoon, her message was waiting. Somehow, Lin Yuanzhou had coaxed the location out of Jin Ran.
It was near the audition studio.
On the drive back, I said casually, “Pull over ahead. I want coffee.”
Ms. Zhao would never let me go myself. “Stay here. I’ll get it.”
“If you insist.” I smiled and did not move.
She snorted and got out.
Through the car window, I could see Jin Ran and the woman seated by the cafe window. She was delicate and pretty, with a clean, gentle face and an easy smile.
They sat opposite each other. He appeared relaxed, his expression unusually open. They seemed pleased with one another, and she grew increasingly shy beneath his attention.
He was tall and hard-edged; she was soft as water. This was what love was supposed to look like.
Sisi called. I lit a slender cigarette.
“Well?”
“They look good together.”
She hesitated. “Mianmian, maybe we should let him go.”
Smoke caught in my throat. As I opened the window, I found Jin Ran standing outside, his face dark.
The smoke drifted over him. He frowned in disgust.
I looked at him, then at the woman watching from inside the cafe. “Leaving her to come see me? That doesn’t seem very polite.”
“What exactly do you want?”
“I came to admire your romance.” I nodded toward the woman. “Your taste has changed.”
He shoved both hands into his pockets and regarded me with naked impatience.
“I’m asking one last time. What do you want?”
I exhaled a slow ring of smoke and said nothing.
At last, he snatched the cigarette from my fingers, folded it in half, and crushed it out. His voice turned hoarse with lost control.
“Answer me.”
The angrier he became, the calmer I felt.
“I’m sorry.” I looked ahead. “At first, I did feel tempted. I had things I wanted to say and many things I wanted to do with you.”
My eyes lowered with a self-mocking smile. “None of that matters now.”
Ms. Zhao returned with the coffee and glanced warily at Jin Ran. “A fan?”
“An old friend.” I accepted the cup. “We happened to run into each other.”
From the corner of my eye, I saw him trapped between fury and frustration.
As the car started, I lifted my chin toward the cafe. “She’s still waiting. I have nothing to give you except my blessing. Be happy.”