Chapter 3

Suisui was only three when she died.

With nothing left in my heart but ashes, I made a little Buddhist shrine in my room and chanted sutras day and night.

All I asked was that the gods show themselves and punish her murderer.

But the gods never came.

My mother-in-law tolerated me for a while, then summoned me again to stand in attendance and learn my place.

“You come from a distinguished family. Surely you know that you must pay your respects morning and evening. Propriety cannot be neglected.

“And Concubine Chu has given us little Chengxuan. She has done the Xu family a great service. Choose some nice things from your dowry and send them to her, so no one can call you ungenerous.”

Propriety, always propriety. Yet what properly behaved mother-in-law presumed to dispose of her daughter-in-law’s dowry?

But I had accepted such treatment for so long that even the maid I had brought from the Su household no longer protested on my behalf.

I went to the storeroom myself and selected two large measures of pearls for Chu Lian.

When I reached her courtyard, I found no one guarding the entrance.

For some inexplicable reason, I held my breath and crept inside.

By the time the servants returned, I was hidden in a corner by the wall.

Chu Lian’s room was full of merriment.

Xu Zhen played with Xu Chengxuan for a while, then suddenly cried out in pain.

“I’ve been having nightmares lately,” he told them. “I can’t sleep properly, and my head aches terribly. Could Suisui be haunting me?”

My heart clenched at her name.

Then I heard Chu Lian say, her voice thick with tears,

“There was no one with me. I was trying to protect the child in my womb. I only meant to get out of her way, but I slipped, and the eldest young miss fell into the well. It was all my fault. If she hates anyone, she should come for me. Why torment her own father?”

I stepped back. So it really had been Chu Lian!

Xu Wan said, “Concubine Chu has always been kind. She certainly didn’t mean it. Suisui only ever cared about her mother, even as a little girl. She never respected any of us Xus. I just never thought she could be so vicious, trying to push Concubine Chu into a well to win favor for her mother! If you ask me, she brought it on herself.”

My mother-in-law snorted. “A worthless girl. She’s dead, so what? Hire a Daoist to subdue her spirit. Are we supposed to be afraid of her?”

Xu Zhen considered it, then said, “Keeping Su Lingxu alive is a danger, after all.”

His mother understood. “Then I’ll make her stand outside more often at night. A few chills in the wind and rain—even a body made of iron couldn’t last.”

Xu Wan reminded her, “She hasn’t left the Xus an heir. If she dies like that, the Sus can take all her dowry back.”

My mother-in-law laughed. “Don’t worry. She won’t keep a thing.”

I bit my lip until it bled. My mouth filled with the taste of rust.

I knew they had murdered my daughter. I knew they meant to devour me down to the last scrap. Yet I had no power to resist.

I was like a pig with its legs cut off, trapped in a vat to be cured.

They discussed how best to cook my flesh and blood, while even my cries for justice could not escape that wall.

The words of Father’s wife still rang in my ears.

You may lose your life, but your husband will still be your father’s worthy son-in-law.

Seeking the sorceress was my only way out.

I spent three years planning it.

It wasn’t particularly difficult for women to go out in our dynasty. But Xu Zhen had a guilty conscience and seldom let me leave the house.

For three years, I endured everything without protest and let the Xus abuse me. Only then did I earn this chance to pray at the temple.

After changing and washing my hands, I had barely taken two bites before my mother-in-law sent someone to summon me to stand in attendance in her courtyard.

I had only just taken my place when it began to rain.

The wind drove scattered rain into the walkway. It soaked my shoes, clammy as the marks of a drowned ghost’s grasp.

Inside, Xu Wan and Chu Lian drank tea with my mother-in-law, laughing and talking. I dug my nails into my palms and listened to the wind’s low lament.

Wait a little longer. Be patient. Only seven days.

In seven days, blood would run through the Xu household.