After Pei Xingzhi had Li Pin beaten to death with rods for the sake of the Noble Consort,
I was ill for three months.
When I recovered, it was as if I had become a different person.
I no longer racked my brains to win his favor, no longer grew jealous over which concubine’s palace he would dine in that day. I became cautious, careful, and obedient to the rules.
When Pei Xingzhi summoned me again to attend his bed,
word came from Changchun Palace that the Noble Consort was having a nightmare and wanted him to keep her company.
In the moment of hesitation before he could decide, I had already fetched his cloak for him and fastened it in place, speaking softly:
“The roads are slippery in the snow, Your Majesty. Please watch your step.”
Pei Xingzhi suddenly seized my hand, his voice slightly hoarse. “You’re not going to ask me to stay?”
I smiled gently. “I would not dare sway Your Majesty’s will.”
After all, every time I tried to keep him before,
he had never stayed.
