Chapter 8

Chapter 8

By that time, Song Duhe had already been thrown into the Imperial Prison. I racked my brains trying to find news of him, but I hit a wall at every turn, met only with cold shoulders and disdain.

Lin Chengfeng arrived at the gate of the cramped little courtyard Song Duhe and I shared, though he clearly had no desire to set his noble feet upon such lowly ground.

Dressed in fine silks embroidered with gold thread and pearls, he stood at the entrance radiating an air of brilliance. “Father sent me to bring you home,” he said coolly. “We’re leaving now.”

He didn’t ask why I was sitting alone and dejected in the yard, nor did he ask about the wound on my forehead. He didn’t even care if I agreed to go back; he simply decided my fate for me.

He had always been that kind of person.

Aside from the masters of the Chu family, the high-ranking officials of the court, and the members of the imperial family, other people weren’t even human in his eyes. He felt entitled to dictate their lives and trample upon their dignity as he pleased.

I suddenly realized that he had never truly considered me his sister.

His name was Lin Chengfeng-to ride the wind to the highest heavens.

His sister was named Lin Dieyun-to soar through the clouds into the azure sky.

And I was Lin Zhi-a stray branch on the ground that anyone could step on.

We were never destined to walk the same path.

He never even saw me as a person.

But I saw myself as one. I would love myself, save myself, and learn to say no. I would learn that even if Song Duhe was gone, I could still maintain my pride.

I gave him a cold look and said a single word: “Get out!”

His eyes turned icy, a flash of anger crossing his face.

But I had already picked up a hoe and swung it violently toward him.

I put all my strength into that swing, forcing him to stumble back several steps.

With a loud bang, I slammed the gate shut.

Lin Chengfeng roared from outside, calling me a madwoman.

I grabbed a shovel, dug up a heap of dirt from the vegetable patch, and hurled it over the courtyard wall.

His shouting stopped abruptly, replaced by the sound of him spitting out dirt.

That day, Lin Chengfeng retreated in total defeat.

I huddled on my bed, tears streaming down my face as my mind raced: Who should I beg? Who was left to ask? How could I get news of Song Duhe? How could I save him?

I regretted not clinging to my mother and Lin Dieyun back at the Chancellor’s Mansion so they would take me to the banquets of noble ladies. I regretted actually listening to them and staying quietly tucked away in my own little corner.

Being too honest and obedient comes with a price. Because I gave up on scheming for myself, I now had to bear the consequences of being cut off from information and connections.

Just like now-I had no one to turn to, and I didn’t even know whose door to kneel before.

The moon climbed high into the sky.

The gate to my courtyard creaked open.

I threw on a coat and opened the door to find Zhao Pu standing in my yard, holding an exquisite palace lantern.

In the night, dressed in fine robes and a jade crown with his deep, sharp features, he still looked like a beautiful painting. But I had long since lost any sense of awe; I only wanted to tear that painting to shreds.

Before I could speak, Zhao Pu beat me to it.

“The gatekeeper who insulted you has been dealt with.”

Yesterday, in my desperation for news of Song Duhe, I had cast aside my dignity to beg at the Chancellor’s Mansion, but I hadn’t even been allowed inside.

I had knelt before the gates from dawn until dusk, kowtowing until my head bled. But no one announced my arrival, and no one helped me up.

My forehead was split open, and my knees were so painful they had gone numb. In the end, I had stumbled back home in a daze.

In that moment, I hated that I was a lonely orphan, my life like drifting duckweed, tossed about by the waves, never able to grasp my own destiny, let alone change its course.

Listening to Zhao Pu now, I only wanted to sneer.

A mere scapegoat. Without his master’s tacit approval, how would a servant dare to act on his own?

They treated me like a fool who couldn’t tell right from wrong.

It was sickening.

“Say what you have to say, or get out.”

“The Fifth Princess is selecting study companions. Lin Dieyun was chosen, but the Lin family doesn’t want her to go.”

So they came for me?

A massive wave of fury spread through my chest.

What was I to them?

“Then let her die.”

“I know you’re looking for news of Song Duhe,” Zhao Pu said. “The Fifth Princess is Song Duhe’s cousin. If you enter the palace, you will naturally find out what you want to know.”