chapter 3

I had still underestimated Qingtao.

More than ten years by my side meant she understood me better than anyone—especially how thoroughly I dealt with my enemies.

On the third day after the man entered my estate, before I had the chance to act, a guard hurried in to report that Qingtao had vanished with him.

She had taken not only every coin of her own savings, but also a considerable amount of jewelry from my bedchamber.

All she left me was a letter.

In it, she accused me of being vicious, cold-blooded, and cruel. She claimed that because I was an old maid whom no one wanted to marry, I could not bear to see anyone else find happiness.

She also wrote:

“One day, Miss, you will understand that not everyone in this world is obsessed with profit, fame, and status as you are.

“For a woman, the greatest happiness is to have a beloved man who cherishes, loves, pampers, and protects her.

“A priceless treasure may be found. A faithful lover is far harder to obtain.

“Qingtao hopes you too will soon find the man destined for you and come to understand the taste of love.”

I read the letter in silence.

Then I plastered the city with reward notices.

One hundred thousand taels of silver to whoever found the pair. Ten thousand to whoever provided useful information.

Money could make even ghosts turn millstones. Qingtao was a delicate woman traveling with an unconscious invalid. How could she possibly escape a city full of people dazzled by such a reward?

And yet, perhaps that accursed protagonist halo was at work again. Every search came to nothing.

Months passed without a trace of either of them, and I had no choice but to let the matter rest.

Mother said I was the heroine of a storybook, but my days looked nothing like those of the idle young ladies in its pages.

I had shops to oversee and people to receive. Every day brought more business than I could finish. I had no leisure to spend brooding over a man of unknown origin and a maid who had absconded with my money.

Mother had made her first fortune in silk. Later, after assisting the late emperor in suppressing a rebellion, she was appointed an imperial merchant and granted the right to trade in copper, iron, and salt.

When she died, I took over all her ventures and expanded into grain transport, furs, tea, and more. I also cultivated goodwill wherever I could, opening charitable halls and private schools across the realm. I was especially generous to poor scholars. Whenever one came to me in hardship, I gave no less than a thousand taels and sometimes tens of thousands.

People called me “the female Lord Mengchang.” They said that although I was a woman, I possessed the broad spirit of a man—a rare distinction indeed.

I accepted their “praise” with a smile and scorned it in my heart.

A woman had to exhaust herself and perform a thousand, ten thousand good deeds before she could be granted the title of honorary man.

A man was simply born a man. However vile his character or shallow his learning, he was naturally regarded as an indomitable hero standing between Heaven and Earth.

Their words sounded complimentary, but they were no different from praising a cat or dog for being “almost human.” Merely scraps tossed down by the powerful in their smug condescension.

I would rather they cursed me as shameless and unwomanly than praised me for being “just like a man.”

Besides, my charity was never selfless.

Qingtao had been right about that much. I was greedy for advantage, fame, and power. I was vicious, cold-blooded, and cruel.

I did not understand why a faithful lover was harder to find than a priceless treasure. Nor did I understand why a woman’s greatest happiness should be pleasing a man.

Men could declare their ambitions to “raise a three-foot sword and achieve immortal glory” or “wake to command all beneath Heaven and fall asleep with beauty in their arms.”

Women, meanwhile, were expected to take pride in being as tame and delicate as cats and dogs.

I refused.

I wanted to climb to the highest place and stand above everyone else.

Fame, power, status.

Ideals, aspirations, ambition.

Their allure was irresistible.

As for men?

Ha. An occasional diversion, nothing more.