Chapter 4

After Mom left, I began packing.

Once I started high school, I had no intention of returning.

When she took my sister away, Mom told me that Dad had built this house and that it was meant for Zhien. I had better not covet it.

Why would I covet it?

If surrendering the house would make Mom expel me from her life completely, I would only be profoundly grateful.

I did not know why Mom had gone from liking me to disliking me entirely, and I had no wish to investigate.

The storms of my previous life had taught me one truth: do not try to fathom another person’s heart. Once you start, you can easily trap yourself inside it. Choose people by what they prove themselves to be. Associate with those you can trust; leave the rest alone.

I no longer trusted Mom at all. The same went for my sister. I did not know why she would become someone who betrayed me, but I understood that nothing happened overnight. Perhaps during all those years when I believed she depended on and adored me, she had experienced our relationship very differently.

Even after rebirth, I would not dig deeper. I wanted nothing from either of them.

There was one other person: Yu Jinnian.

He had visited every day lately. Most of the time he said nothing, his eyes brimming with sorrow.

That day, when I had nearly finished packing, he finally spoke. “Are you really going to No. 20? Won’t you reconsider County No. 1?”

I stopped what I was doing. “If County No. 1 waives tuition and book fees and provides room and board, I can go. Will they?”

County No. 1 had always considered itself the unchallenged local leader. Over the years, rival schools had poached plenty of top scorers, but it had never worried. Yu Jinnian knew that better than anyone. Embarrassment crossed his face. “What about you? You’ll give up everything and go somewhere completely unfamiliar, all for money?”

I looked straight at him. His eyes held a boy’s pure sincerity. It was difficult to imagine that by thirty he would become so contemptible.

I remained polite with him.

“Yu Jinnian, you’re crossing a line.”

“Our relationship is not close enough for you to interfere in my life.”

“What?” Seventeen-year-old Yu Jinnian seemed unable to understand. “Zhiya, why would you say that?”

My face remained calm. “Before questioning someone else, go home, cool down, and think carefully about what our relationship actually is. Then you’ll understand that the problem is yours.”

He did not move.

I watched him coldly. A teenage boy could not withstand that scrutiny for long. He left in a fluster.

I sighed softly.

Then I shouldered my luggage and headed toward the county town. I had to catch the bus to No. 20.

I had not gone far when Mom stopped me and brought me back.