Chapter 2

I rubbed my chest.

My heart ached for my two children.

And I made up my mind.

I did not answer Yu Jinnian’s greeting. I merely nodded to Zhien, then turned and went inside.

It was probably the first time Zhien had seen me so cold. Her eyes reddened as she called tearfully toward the kitchen, “Mom, Sis is ignoring me…”

Mom wiped her hands as she hurried over from the stove. She shoved my door open with a bang. “What is this? You come home and immediately give us attitude?”

I was lying flat on my bed, too tired to keep my eyes open. Her scolding made me struggle upright. My voice was exhausted. “Mom, look at the dark circles under my eyes. I’m not giving anyone attitude. I’m really tired. I only want to sleep for a while.”

Mom faltered. Her gaze lingered on my face before her tone hardened again. “Everyone gets tired from exams. Last year, the day Yu Jinnian finished, he went straight to the fields to help his father harvest wheat. But you? You come home and lie down as if I owe you something.”

I did not argue. I lowered my head and let her lecture me.

I understood why she was like this.

At that moment, she was suffering terribly.

She was about to give up a second marriage because of me.

It left her bitter…

All she could do was curse me, again and again, to vent her grievance.

While her unwanted burden endured her abuse, I silently bade her a final farewell.

The entrance-exam results came out. Just as in my previous life, mine were outstanding.

Yu Jinnian ran all the way over with the good news. “Auntie, Zhiya ranked first in the entire county!”

Mom stood rooted to the spot. After a long while, she asked hesitantly, “Then… can she attend County No. 1 High School?”

“Of course! She’ll definitely enter an advanced class, just like me.”

Yu Jinnian was one grade above me. In my previous life, the thought of attending the same school had secretly delighted me for a long time. He had never hidden his feelings for me.

I liked him too, but I did not dare show it.

My father died in an accident when I was in seventh grade, and the contractor paid compensation. Mom said, “Your father traded his life for this money.”

“Every day you study, you drink your father’s blood. Think carefully about what you must do to be worthy of him.” I was consumed by guilt.

I felt guilty for spending the price of my father’s life and never dared waste a single cent.

I thought Mom spoke that way because she loved and mourned him so deeply.

Only a year before her death did I learn that she regarded the money as her future dowry and my sister’s security.

Every cent she spent on me cut her like a knife. Her plan had always been to send me to work after junior high school.

She did not dare do it any sooner. She knew schooling was compulsory for nine years.

She did not dare break the law.

She kept saying I had failed my father so that I would willingly abandon my schooling.

But she had not expected me to score so well.

Everyone was watching her. She could no longer tell me to quit school and work. She had no choice but to watch me enter high school and continue going everywhere in the village with Yu Jinnian.

She hated the radiant girl I was, so full of promise.

In my previous life, I did not know. I truly did not.

I did not know she resented me.

I did not know why she chose to stay for me when she plainly did not love me.

This time, I heard her muttering beside the well. “How could she score so well…?”

“The entire village knows now.”

“How can I tell her to go work after this?”

I watched her silently and decided to set her free as soon as possible.

Early the next morning, after Zhien ran off to play, I sat down to have a formal talk with Mom.

“Mom, I know about Uncle Li. Take Zhien and go with him. I know he doesn’t want me, so I won’t come.”

“You’ve worked for me for years. It’s time I thought of you.”

“What do you mean?” Mom shot to her feet, her face flaming red. “You want the whole village talking behind my back, saying I abandoned my daughter to enjoy myself?”

“Is that your idea of helping me? Or are you trying to drive me to my death?”

She began to wail and curse.

I listened quietly.

When she had exhausted herself, I poured her warm water and tried to soothe her. “Mom, a teacher from City No. 20 High School contacted me. If I attend, they’ll waive three years of tuition and provide room and board.”

“So you aren’t abandoning me. I’m abandoning you and Zhien to leave for a better life.”

Mom stared fixedly at my face as if searching for proof that I was lying.

At last, she forced a stiff smile. “So that’s it… I knew you could never truly be thinking of me.”

“Fine. Tomorrow I’ll hold a banquet and invite every respected person in the village. You can explain all this in front of them.”

She wanted to brand me an unfilial daughter once and for all.

“All right.” I nodded calmly.

In truth, Mom had liked me less ever since my sister was born.

When I was little, she had cradled me and called me her precious darling. But after Zhien arrived, her affection shifted farther and farther away from me.

Dad had tried to reason with her. “They’re both our children. No matter how much you dote on the younger one, you can’t mistreat the older one.”

Mom sneered. “Put your hand on your heart and tell me—which one do you like more?”

Dad was silent for a long time before admitting softly, “The younger one… but perhaps only because she’s younger?”

Mom glanced at him. “Just admit it. You like Zhien more.”

Dad said nothing else.

He saw me standing in the doorway.

I had heard everything, but I did not stay sad for long.

I comforted myself and did not blame them for playing favorites. After all, even I loved Zhien more than I loved myself.