Chapter 9

Chapter 9

In Yongzhou, everyone knew that Li Bai was the sworn sister of the newly entered Consort Yao.

Magistrate Li was exceedingly polite every time he saw me.

This was because I held all the assets of the Li family. Within two years, I had monopolized the fabric, porcelain, and tea trades in Yongzhou.

I even had a hand in the grain and salt trade.

I had even opened shops in Yuzhou and Yanzhou.

I didn’t stay idle because I didn’t dare to.

If I slowed down, my mind would wander.

When my mind wandered, my hysteria would flare up, leaving me so restless that I wanted to kill.

When Yao Jingnian left, I had her take Lan Guan with her to the capital.

He was even more cruel than I was; when he killed, his blade fell without hesitation.

He had no internal moral compass and needed to adapt to the rules of the world.

Yao Jingnian was the person most capable of disciplining him.

As for me, I was already struggling to keep myself together.

Over the past two years, my hysteria seemed to have worsened.

Huaihua didn’t even dare to leave my side for a single step.

She had already cut me down from the noose several times.

I would always tell her, “The Li family’s current assets and businesses, the banknotes in the bank-they are all for Yao Jingnian. After I die, you must live well and look after them for her…”

“Miss! Stop talking about dying all the time. As long as I’m here, don’t even think about it!”

Huaihua always said that.

I felt helpless.

She didn’t understand that at seventeen, Cui Yin had no attachments left in this world, no desire to keep living.

I was afraid that one day, when my illness took hold, I would slaughter the innocent.

I truly wanted to die.

I missed my mother.

I wanted to see her immediately, to be held in her arms and have her stroke my hair.

Mother, you must wait for Ah Yin.

Ah Yin hasn’t apologized to you yet.

Mother was not wrong; I was the one who was wrong.

When the Cui Family came to fetch me to the capital, my head was once again hanging in a noose.

Huaihua was desperately clinging to my legs-

“Miss! Miss, don’t die! People from the Cui Family of the Capital have arrived! Let’s go to the capital and find some fun!”

Not long after the Cui family members arrived, I paid a visit to the Huaili Prefecture government office.

Magistrate Li was a sharp man who understood a hint immediately.

In Yongzhou, there was only Cui Yin, not Li Bai. If anyone dared to talk too much, their tongue would be cut out.

The Li family’s business was flourishing, and the managers in various locations were all very capable.

That was good.

I did have some interest in the Cui Family of the Capital.

After all, my father and elder brother were still there.

My mother was dead, but I still harbored some expectations for them.

I was someone who slaughtered dogs and cats at ten, killed people at twelve, and wiped out the Li family at fifteen… At seventeen, I only wanted a little bit of familial affection.

Just a little, and I would be satisfied.

However, the two older maids and the servant girl the Cui Family sent to fetch me didn’t seem to understand the rules.

Their gazes toward me were very respectful and very honest.

So honest that I could see the hidden disdain and contempt in the depths of their eyes.

The Cui Family was more tedious than I had imagined.

On the day I arrived, a room full of female relatives was waiting for me.

They surrounded an elderly woman, saying things like “Look how beautiful the young lady has grown” and “This is all thanks to the protection of Old Madam’s good fortune.”

That elderly woman wore a purple embroidered headband over her graying hair. Though she looked aged, her voice was full of vigor.

“Poor child. Now that your maternal family has met with disaster, you mustn’t be too sad. Since you’ve returned, the Cui Family will certainly not mistreat you from now on.”

Her gaze held pity, looking down on me from a height.

I found it amusing. The Li family had been wiped out two years ago; what did she mean by “met with disaster now”?

A room full of aunts and various relatives, along with my smiling Stepmother Su, looked much more affectionate than her.

Su Shi took my hand, her expression gentle and full of charm. “Yin-jie, it’s been a long journey. We’ve all been looking forward to your arrival. Your brother even took a special leave from his office today and is waiting to see you in the study.”

“And your father-he should be back early. There’s no rush to see them yet; first, come and meet your sisters.”

The Cui Family was quite large.

After the aunts and great-aunts were introduced, there was still a whole host of secondary aunts and cousins to meet.

Altogether, there were seven or eight cousins, but I only remembered Cui Yuan and Cui Shu, who shared the same father as me.

Cui Yuan was born to my Stepmother Su. She is a year younger than me and is my legitimate younger sister.

Cui Shu was born to my father’s concubine, Concubine Yang. She is roughly the same age as Cui Yuan and is my concubine-born younger sister.

My father, Vice Minister of Rites Cui Qian, has two sons.

One is my elder brother, Cui Jinze, and the other is Cui Jincheng, born to Stepmother Su.

Cui Jincheng is only eight years old, a mischievous child.

I was more interested in Cui Jinze.

This was because, during our time in Yongzhou, my mother had mentioned him more than once.

It was clear she missed him dearly; she would often wipe away tears in secret.

Blood is thicker than water, after all. When the steward led me to the study to meet him, I felt a rare stir of emotion.

The result was a great disappointment.

The elegant gentleman behind the pearwood desk did look somewhat like me, but his expression was cold. He frowned when he looked at me.

“Cui Yin?”

“Yes.”

His voice was quite pleasant, so I looked up at him with a faint smile playing on my lips.

“You grew up on the manor in Mei County?”

“Yes.”

“With her?”

That word “her” made me pause for a moment. Then, I stared at him and smiled. “What is it you wish to say, Brother? You might as well speak plainly. Did you not investigate thoroughly before bringing me here?”

My poised, smiling tone made him frown again, a cold glint flashing in his eyes. “Since you put it that way, I won’t beat around the bush. I know she hanged herself right in front of you, and that you were very close to her. But remember this: our Cui Family owes her nothing. She committed a crime back then, and her end was merely the consequence of her own actions.”

“…”

“The Cui Family has not wronged you, nor did we wrong her. Regardless of what you think, now that you have returned to the capital, Cui Yin, you must behave yourself. Otherwise, I will not show you any mercy.”

I understood. He knew I was raised in the countryside and had witnessed my mother’s death. Fearing that my hardships would lead me to harbor resentment against the Cui Family, he had come to give me a warning first.

It was quite disappointing. I had thought that even if a warning were necessary, it shouldn’t have come from him.

I sighed softly and said to him, “Brother, you worry too much. Am I such an ungrateful person? I cannot tell you how happy I am to be able to return to the Cui Family. How could I have any other thoughts?”

“Being born in the countryside was not my fault; my fate was simply out of my hands. I was born with the same status as you, but I had no choice, did I?”

“I wanted to live a good life too, but I had no way. The farm in Mei County was surrounded by wilderness. When the wind blew, it sounded like ghosts wailing. In winter, the rooms were dark and cold. The ground was covered in duck droppings and silt, and there were piles of manure at the edge of the fields. I even had to work the land. My uncle’s family ignored me, and the manor’s steward bullied me because I was young…”

“Ah Yin…”

A bitter smile touched the corners of my mouth, my expression full of emotion. As expected, Cui Jinze’s attitude softened. A look of pity crossed his face as he explained, “I didn’t mean anything by it. Don’t overthink things. Naturally, I am happy you could return. It is just that I am not only your brother, but also the eldest son of this house…”

“I understand. There is no need to explain, Brother. We are siblings; naturally, you are looking out for my best interests.”

With my eyes cast down, my voice sounded relieved, as if I were comforting myself.

Cui Jinze had completely dropped his guard against me. He even looked somewhat regretful. He said to me again, “Rest assured, now that you have returned to the Cui Family, do not think of the past anymore. From now on, you are the eldest daughter of the Cui Family. With me here, no one will dare bully you.”

Finally, he looked like an elder brother should.

The coldness was gone from his eyes. He spoke a few more gentle words to me before concluding, “Mother has prepared a courtyard for you. You must be exhausted from the journey; go back and rest for a while. You will need to pay your respects to Father later this evening.”

I nodded and gave him a small smile.

Just as I was leaving the study, I turned back to look at him and smiled. “Brother, your study is clean and bright, and you have all the brushes, ink, paper, and inkstones you could need. But I feel that something is missing from that curio shelf.”

“Oh? What is missing?”

“A sword.”

I looked at him, my expression earnest.