Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Before the Cui Family sent for me to return to the capital, I went to the Huaili Prefecture government office in Yongzhou to have Magistrate Li read my fortune.

The little old man, wearing his black gauze cap and round-collared robe, stood before me with a troubled expression. “Miss, please spare me. I am merely a magistrate; what do I know of fortune-telling?”

Huaihua stood to the side, her sword cradled in her arms. I sat high upon the hall’s main seat, propping my head with one hand. “Ten years ago, weren’t you still setting up a stall on the streets of Pingling to tell fortunes, Magistrate Li? How is it that after you purchased your post and rose through the ranks, you’ve forgotten your original trade so completely?”

Cold sweat broke out on Magistrate Li’s forehead. “I do not know how I have offended you, Miss…”

“It’s not a matter of offense. It’s just that a few days ago, on the anniversary of my mother’s death, my illness flared up again. I had found a rope and was preparing to hang myself when I heard that people from the Cui Family of the Capital had arrived and are currently staying at the official guest house. As you know, my biological father is Cui Qian, the Vice Minister of Rites-a third-rank official. He wants to take me back, and as the eldest daughter of the Cui Family, how could I possibly disobey my father’s command?”

“So, what do you mean by this?”

“I sought out Blind Wang in the city for a reading. He said this journey would be perilous, and that I would face a bloody calamity.”

I opened my eyes and looked at Magistrate Li, a faint smile playing on my lips. “I didn’t quite believe him. When I was twelve, my mother hanged herself at the farm in Mei County. Two years ago, my maternal uncles’ household was slaughtered by bandits. The Li family collapsed, and I was the only survivor. Naturally, I came to believe that my own fate was simply too hard for others to break.”

“In this world, unless I wish to die myself, no one has the ability to take my life. Don’t you agree?”

Magistrate Li wiped the sweat from his brow. “What you say is absolutely correct, Miss. You are a person of great fortune.”

“My fortune requires your assistance, Magistrate Li.”

“Please, give me your instructions.”

“Since the Cui Family has sent people, they will surely ask about me. You know what to do, don’t you?”

“I know, I know. Rest assured, Miss. Should anyone dare to wag their tongue, I will certainly not show them mercy.”

“In that case, my thanks.”

I rose and gave a slight nod of acknowledgment.

Magistrate Li hurried to return the gesture. “It is only right. There is no need for such politeness, Miss.”

I am Cui Yin, the eldest daughter of the Cui Family of the Capital, the daughter of the Vice Minister of Rites.

I grew up in my maternal grandfather’s home in Yongzhou.

In the fifteen counties of Yongzhou, the name Cui Yin is likely known to no one.

But mention Li Bai, and there is no one who does not know it.

Li Bai was the name Second Miss Yao helped me choose when I was ten years old.

At that time, my mother and I lived together on a farm in Mei County.

The farm was a property of my maternal grandfather’s family, the Li family, but my grandfather had already been dead for many years.

He had died of sheer rage.

All because he had a daughter who had brought shame upon the family.

Before my mother was married, she and a distant Cousin who had come to the family for shelter had developed feelings for one another.

My grandfather looked down on that man. At the time, my paternal grandfather was a minor official in the capital and had been a longtime friend of his.

My paternal grandfather had also been destitute in his youth. While traveling through Yongzhou for the imperial examinations, he met my maternal grandfather’s family, who were merchants.

My maternal grandfather had supported him with silver. Later, when he became an official in the capital, a marriage contract was settled between his eldest son and my mother.

My mother married far away from Yongzhou. My maternal grandfather was wealthy, and her dowry filled three large ships.

She married my father, the eldest son of the Cui Family, Cui Qian.

For three years, they had a son and a daughter, and life passed peacefully.

Unfortunately, that Cousin who had sought shelter with the family later followed my Second Maternal Uncle to the capital for business and stayed temporarily with the Cui Family.

Before I was even six months old, my mother and that Cousin were caught in a room in the back garden, their clothes in disarray.

Everyone called her a loose woman, saying the daughter she bore might very well be a bastard.

That Cousin was beaten to death on the spot by the Cui Family.

For someone like my mother, if she cared for the dignity of her children, she should have hanged herself then and there.

But my Second Maternal Uncle could not bear it. Together with her dowry maid and wet nurse, they secretly brought her back to Yongzhou.

No sooner had they arrived than the Cui Family delivered a letter of divorce to the Li family.

My maternal grandfather was already bedridden with illness; he was literally incensed to death.

I grew up in the Li family home. After my grandfather died, my First Maternal Uncle and Second Maternal Uncle took charge of the household.

My mother’s life was not easy, as my two maternal aunts-in-law utterly despised her.

My life was not easy either, because my older cousin from my Eldest Maternal Uncle’s house always called me a bastard and took every opportunity to kick me.

From a very young age, I was constantly exposed to my aunts’ vitriol. I listened to them verbally abuse my mother, calling her lowly and a harlot.

I didn’t understand back then, until one late night. I was sleeping on the small couch in my mother’s room when I heard a rustling, unusual sound coming from behind her bed curtains.

My mother’s voice was hurried and pleading. “Ah Yin is asleep. Don’t wake her. Be gentler.”

A man’s voice panted, repeating over and over, “Yue Niang, you are mine. You are mine.”

Yue Niang was my mother’s childhood name.

The man’s voice was also very familiar. I could tell it was my Second Maternal Uncle.

But I was young then and understood nothing.

Until one day, their affair was exposed. My Second Maternal Aunt-in-law went mad with rage, beating my mother until her cheeks were red and swollen and she spat up blood.

My Eldest Maternal Aunt-in-law hurled abuse while my Eldest Maternal Uncle remained silent.

They called it a scandal, and so my Second Maternal Uncle was locked away.

Ultimately, to cover up this disgrace, my mother and I were driven away to a rural farmstead in Mei County.

I was seven years old that year.

The manor was a property of the Li family, but the manager there did not treat us like masters.

Thinking back now, he must have received instructions from my aunts and others to deliberately mistreat us.

Consequently, the house we lived in was remote. On rainy days, the courtyard became a muddy mess, and the roof leaked.

In winter, there wasn’t even a charcoal brazier. The damp bedding was so cold that chilblains broke out on our hands and feet.

But my mother was very happy.

She hadn’t been this happy in a long time. She took me with her to clean the dilapidated courtyard, wiping the tables and stools until they were spotless.

She even picked flowers in the fields and snapped off willow branches, weaving them into a garland to place on my head.

She smiled and told me, “Ah Yin, from now on, Mother will lead you to a good life.”

I had never seen her smile like that.

My mother was weak-willed; she was actually a very timid person.

Her father’s family were wealthy merchants, and she had been a pampered young lady raised in the inner chambers.

But later, she did everything. Wearing coarse hemp clothes, she took a hoe to the fields, chopped wood, cooked, and fenced off land to raise chickens.

In her spare time, she also taught me to read-things like Women’s Virtues, Instructions for Women, and the Three Guidances and Five Constant Virtues.

I didn’t like those books. Seeing lines like “A woman has the duty of the three obediences and has no way of her own” made me knit my brows in frustration.

So, I tore the books up to use as kindling for the fire.

When my mother saw this, she stamped her feet in anxiety, telling me that paper and books were very expensive.

I frowned again and said to her, “Since you know paper is expensive, why waste it? Why buy these things at all?”

She murmured, “These are what I have been taught since I was a child. Daughters raised in good families all understand these things…”

“Does Mother think I look like a daughter from a good family?”

I swear, there was no double meaning in my words. I simply felt that since we had fallen to living on a farmstead and our lives were so impoverished, the only things we needed to worry about were food and clothing.

But she somehow misunderstood. Her face turned deathly pale, her eyes reddened, and she went back into the house without a word.

I knew she was crying, but I didn’t have the energy to deal with her.

I was going to kill dogs and slaughter cats with a little idiot who lived in the Mei County countryside.

That year I was ten, and the little idiot was even younger than me. He had filthy bare feet, disheveled hair, a grimy face, and was skin and bones.

The first time I met him was in a ruined temple in the village. He was using a broken clay pot to boil meat over a fire.

Since moving to the manor, I hadn’t eaten meat for three years.

Following the scent of the meat to the temple, I saw him crouching nearby, staring unblinkingly at the clay pot.

He was foolish, grinning at me and even generously sharing a bowl of meat with me.

There was no salt or any seasoning, but I devoured it until the bowl was licked clean.

It was so delicious.