Chapter 5

Chapter 5

At fifteen, I entered the palace gates with nothing but a heart full of reckless courage. My mind was constantly haunted by the scenes of my mother and brother’s deaths; back then, I hated everyone.

Then, I met Pei Yi’an.

The kindness he showed me ignited the flicker of goodness buried deep in my heart.

He told me that as a princess, I must maintain personal integrity and uphold justice. I was to put the world first and the people above all else.

At that time, I thought I wanted to become someone like Pei Yi’an.

Now, I realize that Pei Yi’an is not as good as me.

He has already knelt, while I am still standing.

However, he isn’t entirely useless. At the very least, he taught me one truth:

One can never gain respect by relying on the favor of others. Only by grasping tangible power in your own hands do you earn the right to sit at the negotiating table.

After returning to the palace, I intended to ask my Imperial Father for a different Grand Tutor.

But as I reached the Imperial Study, I heard Zhao Mo’er’s sobbing.

“Imperial Father, did you bring Sister back just so she could bully me? For your sake, I endured it when she hit me, but when will this end? Am I supposed to endure this for the rest of my life?”

My Imperial Father’s tone carried a hint of irritation as he softly comforted Zhao Mo’er.

“Yunwei is indeed too much. She grew wild in the countryside without anyone to teach her, which is why she is so uncouth. Even though she has studied for three years, she still lacks any sense of propriety. Don’t lower yourself to her level. She is getting older and it’s time to discuss her marriage. I will marry her off as soon as possible so she won’t have any reason to return to the palace.”

“Thank you, Imperial Father! I knew you loved me the most.”

I didn’t need to go inside to imagine the way Zhao Mo’er was acting like a pampered little daughter before him.

Once, I envied her.

I envied that she grew up by our Imperial Father’s side and could act spoiled whenever she wished.

Unlike me, there was always a barrier between my Imperial Father and me. I could pretend to be spoiled, but I could never truly be at ease.

Similarly, my Imperial Father could feign favor, but in his heart, he knew exactly who was close and who was distant.

This father-daughter relationship of ours was as fake as it could be.

Fortunately, any lingering expectations I once harbored had been thoroughly killed during these three years of palace life.

I knelt outside the door, silent.

When my Imperial Father and Zhao Mo’er stepped out together and saw me, their expressions shifted instantly.

My Imperial Father said awkwardly, “When did you arrive?”

I said softly, “Your daughter is incompetent. I am indeed not like my sister, who was raised at Imperial Father’s knee and received your constant guidance to become so bright and clever. But does a dull child deserve to die? My sister said I have no mother’s love and no father’s favor. She said someone like me has no value in living and should have passed away early like my Empress Mother and brother. Should I not have struck her for that?”

“You’re lying! I never said that!” Zhao Mo’er panicked and hurriedly knelt as well. “Imperial Father, please believe me. I have always respected and loved my sister. How could I say such things? Sister is only slandering me because she dislikes me.”

I raised my right hand and swore to the heavens.

“I swear in the name of my Empress Mother: if Zhao Mo’er did not say those words, let me, Zhao Yunwei, be struck by divine lightning. May I suffer a miserable death, find no peace thereafter, and never enter the cycle of reincarnation for all eternity.”