Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I stared at my Father Emperor with sparkling eyes.

Thinking that I was about to witness such a monumental historical event firsthand, I felt a strange surge of nervousness.

However, my Father Emperor froze. After the word “tie,” he didn’t say another word for a long time.

I grew anxious.

[What’s wrong? What’s wrong? Is your mouth sewn shut?]

[“Tie him up and take him to the Tiger Gate for beheading”-are those few words really that hard to say?]

[He couldn’t have had a stroke from anger, could he?]

[That shouldn’t be right. The history books said you’d live to seventy-nine. You’re supposed to be incredibly long-lived.]

Father Emperor shot me a fierce glare. Holding back his temper with a sharp intake of breath, he said coldly, “Tie that scoundrel up and bring him to me. I will interrogate him personally. Summon the Imperial Uncle and the Ministers of the Six Ministries.”

Me: […]

[Huh?]

[Where is my majestic, powerful, and domineering Father Emperor?]

[That’s it? You don’t even dare to kill one person? What kind of man are you!]

Father Emperor slammed his hand onto the table with a loud *thud*.

I had already grown used to his occasional fits of temper, but I couldn’t help but sigh inwardly.

[The eunuchs and palace maids in charge of the furniture and tea sets must have a hard life, right?]

[They have to replace everything with a new set every few days just for Father Emperor. That’s pretty extravagant! He’s not as frugal as the books described.]

Father Emperor clenched his fists tightly.

Before long, a group of people entered.

The most pitiful among them was pushed inside, bound hand and foot. As soon as he entered, he was forced to his knees.

I craned my neck to get a look, but Father Emperor suddenly scooped me up and rested my head against his shoulder.

Me: […]

[Do you have a grudge against me?]

[Turn me around!]

Father Emperor let out a soft chuckle, but he refused to turn me around.

He was looking at the court officials; I was looking at the wall.

I was so angry I wanted to bite him, yet he only laughed more merrily.

It’s true what they say: when you are weak, even your anger looks ridiculous!

Me: […]

Father Emperor addressed Zhang Shihuai. “Do you recognize your crime?”

Zhang Shihuai’s voice was trembling. “This subject knows his crime. I should not have gone to the prison to play chess with a convict, much less leaked Your Majesty’s words, leaving no room for mediation. I accept my guilt and my punishment. I beg Your Majesty to deal with me.”

Father Emperor pondered for a long while.

“Before I came here, I intended to take your head. But now, I plan to spare you.”

“Think carefully. If I truly killed you in a fit of rage, you would be dead, but one day, when I remember that you were quick-witted and capable-a talented official and a pillar of the state-I would surely regret it.”

“As Emperor, I must indeed be cautious in word and deed. But as a Dali Temple Assistant holding a high position, should you not also follow the rules and act with prudence to ease your sovereign’s burdens?”

“If you die, you will certainly leave a name in the history books, but what I would leave behind is infamy for a thousand years. You are trying to trap me in a position of being heartless and unjust.”

“Shihuai, we have been sovereign and subject for years. Why must you place me in such a perilous position?”

Father Emperor spoke these words with profound sincerity.

Zhang Shihuai was moved to the core.

Weeping bitter tears, he kowtowed until his forehead hit the floor. He cried out that he had committed such a monstrous error and placed His Majesty in such a predicament that he was ashamed to be a subject. He vowed to be strict with himself from now on and never again commit such arrogant acts; otherwise, he would die of shame before His Majesty could even punish him.

The sovereign and his subject wept together. From the sounds of it, the Imperial Uncle and the Ministers of the Six Ministries were also sobbing.

Clearly, they were all moved by this display of loyalty between ruler and subordinate.

But not me.

Who am I?

I’m someone who used to work for Yama.

I saw through the true nature of these “leaders” long ago.

Still, I couldn’t help but marvel.

[Ooh, don’t say it, just don’t say it.]

[With my Father Emperor’s PUA techniques, no wonder he can dominate the world and stand supreme.]

[In no time at all, he used both favor and authority to win over a top official. His other capable ministers must have been won over the same way, right?]

[An expert. This man is an expert!]

[Ow, Father Emperor, take it easy. Don’t pat my bottom. If you keep patting, I’m going to throw up.]

I let out a retch and gagged right onto Father Emperor’s shoulder.