Chapter 3
Using Li Xue’er’s cosmetics, Concubine Chen painted me into a fragile schemer and admired her handiwork. “Ten years of practice were not wasted. Even a giant beast can become a pitiful beauty.”
I let the insult pass because she had worked hard, then minced over to the bed and lay down.
[Excellent. I’ll add a little something,] the system said.
When Father led the emperor inside, His Majesty saw a tearful beauty half hidden beneath the brocade quilt, biting her red lip like a fallen immortal.
Inside, I was cursing up a storm. “Idiot system, what did you add?”
[Ginger juice from Concubine Chen’s handkerchief.]
“I knew that woman faked her tears.”
The emperor was dazzled by my face. Father claimed I was sickly and starved of yang energy, and His Majesty sat beside me in concern. “Such a thick quilt. Are you cold?”
No. His hand had found my pectoral muscle.
He was handsome, with flirtatious eyes, a high nose, and heroic features. I nearly drooled when he asked my name.
“Li Rourou,” I answered shyly.
Father wept. “My daughter admires Your Majesty so much that she cannot eat or sleep. Please have mercy on her.”
The emperor’s gaze darkened. After a pause, he laughed. “Very well. I appoint you Talented Lady -”
Talented Lady? A high-powered machine like me joining his harem, and that was all?
With the system’s help, I sent him several alluring looks.
“I appoint you Beauty Rou.”
Wonderful. I would live. Yet there was no mission-complete chime.
[You still haven’t performed the palm-top dance. Every condition is required.]
If the system had a body, I would have strangled it a hundred times. Every scrawny servant in our estate together could not lift me.
I sent a pigeon for my highly skilled senior brother. Loyal as ever, he closed his smithy and hurried over. At the officials’ banquet the next day, he single-handedly stopped the singers and dancers who were meant to perform.
Father stamped his feet until Senior Brother lifted him by the collar. “What are you doing now?”
I adjusted the enormous dress Yinling had sewn overnight. “Dancing for His Majesty.”
“You can display martial arts at the autumn hunt.”
His eyesight must be failing. I twirled my skirt. “I’m performing a dance on someone’s palm.”
Father paled. “The emperor left the palace because a consort tried that dance, misjudged her force, and nearly crushed his manhood.”
“Why didn’t you tell me something so important?”
“It isn’t too late.”
It was. A eunuch arrived with a brittle smile. “Beauty Rou, His Majesty is waiting for your palm-top dance.”
Father and I looked at each other. Now we truly were doomed.