Chapter 7

One hundred and twenty-eight loads.

Firecrackers burst, suona horns blared, and half the city’s children ran after the procession.

In her triumph, Xia Linlang sent two maids to my courtyard gate to count the loads aloud.

Hongyu drove them away with a broom. Xia Linlang simply found two older women with louder voices to shout from farther off.

I sat in the courtyard embroidering my wedding robe and pretended not to hear.

All I wanted now was to leave this wretched household as quickly as possible.

As for what came afterward, I would take it one step at a time. I could not see that far ahead.

It was midnight before the house finally quieted.

A troubled mind made sleep difficult.

Hongyu could stay awake no longer and went to bed. I stitched for a while longer before a trace of drowsiness came.

Before it could fade, I hurried to put my wedding robe beneath the bed.

As I stood, someone caught me in his arms.

The familiar scent of musk mingled with borneol filled my nose. I sank my teeth into his arm.

He cried out and let go.

I spun around and slapped him.

“Li Wujin, have you lost your mind?”

In the dim yellow light, he pressed his tongue against his cheek. His gaze was openly predatory.

“Chan’er,” he said hoarsely, “I missed you.”

I gave an angry laugh. “General Li, you delivered betrothal gifts to my sister this morning and broke into her younger sister’s bedroom tonight. Even storybooks couldn’t invent a bastard like you.”

He drew a deep breath, struggling to calm himself.

“You’ve hit me and cursed me. Surely you’re no longer angry?”

I shook my head. “Have you still not understood? Our problem was never as simple as a lovers’ quarrel.

“One word from someone else unsettled you enough to do something irreversible. Deep down, you already believed I was a woman who would stop at nothing.

“There’s no future for us. Let me go.”

There were plenty of skilled people in the world. Whether he had been bewitched would have been easy to discover.

But he had not wanted to make the effort.

How could love last without trust?

Li Wujin planted his hands on the bed’s edge, enclosing me between his arms.

“It can be undone.”

I leaned back as far as I could. “What do you mean?”

“The woman marrying Jiang Qihe is Xia Tingchan. Unfortunately, the Xia family’s fourth daughter will die suddenly before she can enjoy her good fortune. I’ll give you a new identity and bring you into my house. You’ll stand equal with Xia Linlang. I won’t let her trample you.

“Jiang Qihe has always obeyed me. He won’t dare say anything.”

He paused, then added, “Chan’er, just yield to me. Whatever you want, I can give you.”

Equal status?

This was his solution?

To make me abandon my name and become a woman of unknown origins, dependent entirely on his favor. A bird in his cage. Once his affection faded, I would have neither power nor standing, with Xia Linlang watching for her chance. My fate needed no imagining.

I shoved him away. “Call her an ‘equal wife’ as sweetly as you please, she is still a concubine. Li Wujin, I will not be one!”

I pointed at the door. “Didn’t you say I could have anything? Then leave. Never trouble me again as long as I live!”

He had already lowered himself by coming tonight. He had never imagined I would refuse.

The words escaped him. “I’m a military officer of the upper third rank. Your father isn’t even an official. What grievance could you possibly have about becoming my concubine?”

A sudden weariness swept over me.

Li Wujin had been born above others. Everyone revolved around him. Even when he joined the army, he served directly under General Weiwu and began as a commandant.

I had been too naive, imagining I was special enough to bridge all those ranks and meet him heart to heart.

I had considered myself a person. What had he considered me?

The question no longer mattered.

Again, I asked him to leave. “General Li, I shall pretend you never came tonight. Please go.”

When neither coaxing nor force moved me, he clenched his jaw.

His face taut, he loomed over me like a crushing weight.

“But I intend to leave a mark of my visit.”

Danger.

He was dangerous now.

Instinct told me to get away from him at once, and I obeyed.

I kicked him hard and ran for the door while he was stunned.

With his long limbs, he caught up in a single movement.

An arm tightened around my waist. The room spun.

A moment later, he had pinned me to the bed.

“Li Wujin!” I cried. “If you dare force me, I’ll kill you!”

He made no effort to hide the possessiveness in his eyes. His voice had roughened.

“If you don’t want me, who do you want?

“Jiang Qihe? I only asked for his marriage because he’s loyal and easy to manage. Does he think he’s fit to fight me for a woman?”

I held him off with one hand and searched the bed with the other.

At last I found the scissors beneath my pillow.

While he was distracted, I stabbed at him.

He reacted quickly. I only cut his arm.

“Xia Tingchan!” His muffled anger promised a storm.

I turned the scissors on myself.

“If you mean to drive me to my death,” I said with absolute resolve, “I’ll oblige you.”

Li Wujin slowly rose. Faced with my willingness to destroy us both, he looked utterly lost.

“I didn’t want this,” he said helplessly. “Chan’er, it’s because I love you that I lost control.

“These past two days, whenever I picture you laughing and talking with Jiang Qihe, I burn inside. When I think of you becoming another man’s wife, I can’t sleep all night.”

“For the first time, something has slipped out of my control. I’m truly afraid now.”

He had thought he could control my life.

He had thought that, once he arranged everything, I would run to him without looking back.

But “I thought” could be a dangerous thing.

And he had the nerve to speak of fear. In this situation, who should be afraid?

I dared not relax my grip on the scissors. When I spoke again, my voice shook with tears.

“Get out!

“If you don’t want to watch me die, get out!”

At last he could only retreat.

Before leaving, he looked back at me for a long moment.

Moonlight fell through the doorway onto him, making him seem ghostlike. My heart pounded in dread.

Suddenly, he laughed softly.

“Until we meet again, Chan’er.”