Chapter 2
I nearly jumped out of my skin. Li Yu clambered out of the elevator shaft, huffing and puffing.
Unbelievable. Whenever the nutjob who wanted to stab me with a knife showed up, the one who wanted to poke me with his stick was guaranteed to follow!
I glanced over. Li Yu had been surprisingly careful on his way up the shaft.
He’d made a point of protecting the SpongeBob print on his baggy pink shorts so it wouldn’t get scraped.
Everywhere else was shredded. Only that patch remained intact.
The idiot hadn’t even thought to cover himself. The crotch was torn open, and little Li Yu was poking out!
I hurriedly took off my jacket and wrapped it around him.
“You’re a grown man! Have some shame!”
Li Yu hung his head and said, “Oh.” Then he bounded over and held out the rose.
“Flower!”
The jacket fell away. Looking at it, and at little Li Yu standing at attention, I gritted my teeth.
“Keep yourself covered!”
I snatched the rose, stuck it in my trouser pocket, and pointed at Invincible Darling.
“Keep an eye on him. I’m trying to solve a murder. Don’t let that big idiot bother me.”
Before Li Yu could answer, Bashful Boy shot over in a dark blur and sank his teeth into my head, drool and all.
“Don’t call my Gourd Bro a big idiot!”
The pain nearly brought tears to my eyes.
“Baby wants you to pull him off!”
Li Yu held up his hands like a pair of kitten paws.
“Baby gets what Baby wants!”
He grabbed Bashful Boy by both legs and pulled.
My eyes nearly rolled back. Bashful Boy had his teeth in so tight he almost took my scalp with him.
Li Yu made his move.
“Off you go!”
Bashful Boy went flying.
An enormous chest appeared in his path.
Invincible Darling caught him, and Bashful Boy settled straight onto his shoulders.
Invincible Darling glared at me.
“Scorpion Demon! You’re trying to turn my Little Butterfly and my roommate against each other! I’ll kill you!”
He charged. Li Yu stepped straight into his path.
“Even my roommate doesn’t get to bully my Baby!”
The two immediately began wrestling.
Officer Liu tilted his head at them.
“You two idiots. Fight outside. We’re investigating a murder.”
Bashful Boy lunged at Officer Liu. I caught him.
“Are you nuts? That’s justice incarnate!”
“You’re not even allowed to mess around with him, and you want to bite him?”
Officer Liu waved a hand.
“It’s fine. I’ve got truth on my side.”
…
Officer Liu, champion of justice. A man of action, not words!
We were just about to discuss the case when the two big idiots spoke up.
“They want an encore from us!”
“Then let’s give them one!”
I turned and witnessed, for the second time in my life, a sight I would never forget.
Li Yu had hold of Invincible Darling’s belt. Invincible Darling had hold of Li Yu’s. Both were pulling as hard as they could.
Hang on!
Hey!
How the fuck had this turned into tug-of-war?
Officer Liu and I kept backing away. Bashful Boy even took a handkerchief out of his pocket.
He placed it between Invincible Darling and Li Yu as… the marker for winning the tug-of-war!
He clapped from the sidelines.
“Go, Gourd Bro!”
I… For the love of God, could he stop making things worse for five minutes?
I watched the two idiots foam at the mouth together and collapse flat on the floor.
Officer Liu glanced at me.
“Let’s keep looking for clues. It’s quiet now.”
We stepped into the elevator with our flashlights and began searching.
After a long look, we found just one tiny thing.
The elevator had ventilation slots. Both of them bore small cut marks.
That was our only clue so far.
If this had been a locked-room murder carried out with some mechanism, those slots were the only place to work with.
But how could anyone build a murder trap around those two spots?
Had the weapon come through the gaps?
They weren’t even a finger’s width across. A knife couldn’t get through.
I couldn’t imagine what would fit through there and still be able to kill someone!
Officer Liu frowned too, then called the building’s maintenance staff to open the elevator shaft.
Perhaps we’d find traces of the weapon in there.
Officer Liu frowned.
“Focus on the first and second floors.”
“The head was caught between the doors. Most likely, it had only just fallen off and was still rolling.”
“That’s how it ended up there.”
“Which means the murder happened around the first or second floor.”
I agreed with Officer Liu’s reasoning.
Then, a second later, the two big idiots stood up.
They studied the elevator with looks of profound intelligence.
“I know who the killer is!”
Officer Liu and I both paused. Their brains worked differently. Maybe they’d actually thought of something new.
They stared at the corpse in the elevator and declared with absolute certainty:
“It was him! He did it himself!”