Chapter 3
Lord Lao never got around to finding out why I’d turned into a woman that day.
His little disciple was rolling on the floor, claiming he was dying.
I stood beside him and sneered. “Quick, treat him! Another minute and the wound will have healed.”
The attendant was beside himself. “You—you—!”
Yang Jian hurriedly dragged me away.
A moment later and I’d have bitten him again.
Back at Douniu Palace,
Yang Jian kept looking as if he wanted to say something.
After a long pause, he managed, “Change back first.”
Huh? Was my face that unbearable?
Surely not.
As if he’d read my mind, Yang Jian added, “I’m not accustomed to you looking like this.”
Had he considered that I wasn’t accustomed to looking like a dog?
I thought for a moment and came up with a perfect compromise.
With a thunderous entrance, behold: the dog-headed human!
I transformed into a human body with a dog’s head.
Yang Jian gaped. He looked at my canine head, then my human body.
He drew a deep breath and let it out. Eventually, he said, “Never mind. Take your human form.
“You worked so hard to attain it.”
I shook my furry head. “It’s fine. Isn’t this the best of both worlds?”
Yang Jian’s brows furrowed into steep ridges. Through gritted teeth, he said, “I told you to transform!”
“…Okay.”
He looked on the verge of a breakdown.
I turned into a dog instead.
Only then did Yang Jian relax. He bent to stroke my head and nuzzle my face. “Don’t worry, Xiaotian. I’ll find a way to make you male again.”
Inside, I was screaming: Please don’t.
But his handsome face was right in front of me.
Dazzled senseless, I blurted, “Okay.”
…Okay, my ass!
After that, restoring my manhood became Yang Jian’s chief concern.
He went to see Lord Lao every few days.
I lived in constant dread.
What if one day he came home and announced he could give me a sex change?
Thanks, but absolutely not.
One day, a voice suddenly sounded inside me.
“I beg all the gods and Buddhas, please let my son come home safely.”
It frightened me so badly that my four legs moved faster than they ever had. “A g-ghost!”
Two steps later, I stopped.
I was a god.
Why was I afraid of ghosts?
Wait. This was the Heavenly Court. What ghost would have such a death wish?
Although ghosts were already dead…
Yang Jian came at the sound of my cries.
“What happened?”
I told him about the voice inside me.
He didn’t look surprised. He merely gave me a long look. “Someone was offering you a sincere prayer.
“You’ve accepted her incense offerings. You should grant her a blessing.”
I was astounded. Someone was praying to the Celestial Hound?
Were the other gods too expensive?
I ventured, “You must receive a lot of prayers, my lord?”
Yang Jian smiled brightly. “Naturally.”
“Then why do you have so much free time?”
Enough to spend all day planning my sex change.
His expression grew stranger. “Has it occurred to you that I can make copies of myself?”
“…Can’t I?”
“…I don’t believe so.”
Damn it.
Yang Jian looked at me and suddenly said, “Xiaotian, lately you seem like a different person.
“Yet when I examine you with my Heavenly Eye, your mind appears normal, and there is nothing unusual about your soul.”
His gaze was sharp as a blade. Then his tone changed abruptly. “So it really must be that elixir…
“Ah, you were never very bright.
“And now this.”
What a headache.
I had nothing to say.
For a moment, I couldn’t decide whether to argue.
Forget it.
What bad intentions could a cute little dog like me possibly have?