Chapter 1

After becoming the Celestial Hound, I lit a Chunghwa cigarette to calm my nerves.

I gave it five minutes.

It wasn’t working.

Because this body was. In. Heat.

I did not understand.

Jiang Ziya, did you leave Xiaotian off the roll when you appointed the gods?

How could a divine being still have such worldly urges?

Yang Jian, the god Erlang, came to see me.

“Buddy, I strongly advise you to stay back.

“I will go completely feral on you.”

That sounded ridiculous.

The reality was even worse.

Because although I was currently male,

my soul was still a woman’s.

And Yang Jian

was a man.

An exceptionally handsome man.

He had a vertical eye between his brows and wore silvery-white armor. His hair was black as ink, his eyes gleamed like polished lacquer, and he carried himself with magnificent assurance.

One more look and I might lose control.

Yang Jian clearly couldn’t understand my howling. He came closer and stroked my head. “Xiaotian, what’s got into you lately?

“Why are you keeping your distance?”

…You’d better pray I keep my distance.

I don’t think you could handle me getting friendly.

But Yang Jian refused to listen.

I barked more viciously than a rabid stray, and he still cuddled up to me, his large, warm hand stroking my fur. “Xiaotian, have I done something to upset you?”

…Coming over here is doing a pretty good job.

His soothing touch did nothing. His scent filled my nose and only made me more restless.

I couldn’t take it.

I knocked Yang Jian flat and licked him all over.

He just laughed. “Xiaotian, stop licking! Stop…”

…I—

Forget it.

Yang Jian finally realized I was in heat.

Somehow, I was actually embarrassed.

Especially when he rounded up several ordinary female dogs from somewhere and brought them to me.

Yang Jian looked apologetic. “No one else in Heaven keeps dogs, Xiaotian. You’ll have to make do.”

…Gee, thanks.

The little female dogs and I stared at each other.

My libido died.

At last, the heat passed.

I, Xiaotian the Celestial Hound, was alive again.

To celebrate, I sank my teeth into Yang Jian.

Hilarious. I couldn’t bite through him.

I broke a tooth.

Yang Jian felt so guilty that he went to the Supreme Lord Lao for a golden elixir pill.

I was stunned.

I’d only chipped a tooth. Did that really call for a golden elixir?

For the first time, Yang Jian understood what I meant. He patted my head. “We’ve been gods for five hundred years. You’ve worked hard protecting your corner of the world. Why shouldn’t you have a pill?”

Hang on. Protecting a corner of the world was part of my job?

You could have told me!

Was it too late to start?

Yang Jian fed me the pill. Before I could even taste it, it melted into a warm current that raced through my limbs.

“Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, WOOF!”

The filthiest profanity in the canine language came pouring out.

Yang Jian, you’d better understand that.

The current slammed through my whole body. It felt as if my bones were splintering.

I thought I was going to explode. Literally.

Beside me, Yang Jian nodded. “At last, that old man has given me a real elixir.”

…So you fed it to me without checking?

Outstanding.

Xiaotian must have had incredible luck to survive this long.

I rolled across the floor in agony, blood seeping through my skin.

Yang Jian’s expression finally changed. “Xiaotian, regulate your breathing!” he urged.

“Guide your divine power into your energy center!”

…Could I get a detailed instruction manual?

Help. I genuinely didn’t know how!

Yang Jian paced anxiously beside me. At last, he heaved a sigh, immobilized me, and sat down to meditate. “Xiaotian, I’m going to send my soul into your body. Focus your mind and guide your power along the path I show you.”

As he finished speaking, I felt something enter the sea of my consciousness.

The burning inside me subsided at once.

My whole soul seemed to float: soothed, cool, at ease.

It felt so good I wanted to shout.

“Ahem. Xiaotian, concentrate.”

Perhaps I imagined it, but his voice sounded a little hoarse.

I had no attention to spare for that.

I followed his instructions, one step at a time.

After who knew how long, Yang Jian finally said, “Good. Now you need only absorb the elixir’s power.”

He withdrew from my body, and his voice suddenly sounded far away. “I’ll stand guard while you cultivate.”

All at once, I felt empty inside.