Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Ma Chenxuan was immune to Jiang Ke’er’s constant advances because of his innate straightforwardness.

Both of his parents were researchers who valued efficiency and directness in everything they said and did. This simple family environment had shaped a personality that was kind, yet somewhat clumsy.

I didn’t dislike this clumsiness; in fact, I actually liked it. However, while I explained Jiang Ke’er’s behavior and motives to him, I deliberately hid the underlying malice she directed toward me.

Despite his lack of experience with women, Ma Chenxuan respected them and naturally assumed that all women would respect one another.

I didn’t think he would be able to fully grasp Jiang Ke’er’s true nature. More importantly, I didn’t want to ruin his precious innocence.

So, I told Ma Chenxuan that if he ran into Jiang Ke’er again, he should stay calm. No matter what she said, he should use the “art of language” to skillfully neutralize her attacks.

Ma Chenxuan took it to heart.

In fact, Jiang Ke’er had indeed been looking for opportunities to manufacture various “accidental” encounters with him lately.

The next day, while we were waiting in our usual line for soy milk, Jiang Ke’er appeared with a beaming smile.

She was wearing a doll-collared top paired with a pleated skirt, her slender, pretty legs extending from small leather shoes with square buckles. She was like a breath of fresh air blowing into the 8:00 AM cafeteria, clearing away the stale smell of food and instantly brightening the room.

She stood in front of Ma Chenxuan and greeted him openly. “Good morning, Senior. I’ve run into you again. What a coincidence.”

At that moment, I could almost hear the sound of the surrounding men gnashing their teeth in envy, lamenting this man’s incredible luck.

Ma Chenxuan, the Child of Fortune, thought for two seconds before looking up. “Good morning. Actually, I’m gay.”

His voice wasn’t loud, but it was enough for the people nearby to hear clearly.

The corner of Jiang Ke’er’s eye twitched, and a crack appeared in her smiling mask. “Chenxuan-ge, you’re such a joker. I saw you with Sister the other day.”

I poked my head out from the side at the right moment. “Good morning. I’m his gay man’s wife.”

Ma Chenxuan sternly corrected my statement. “Yueyue, you shouldn’t make jokes at the expense of marginalized groups.”

“Sorry,” I said.

He asked, “What are you supposed to do after saying something wrong?”

“What am I supposed to do?” I asked.

“You have to say ‘ptui ptui ptui’ and then knock on wood three times,” Ma Chenxuan said.

I spat three times into the air and then knocked on Ma Chenxuan.

Satisfied, Ma Chenxuan gave me a big thumbs up before turning back to Jiang Ke’er.

“Sorry you had to see that. My partner likes to talk nonsense; she was just joking.”

“How could she be a gay man’s wife?” Ma Chenxuan said. “She’s a man.”

“Don’t look at me like that,” Ma Chenxuan said seriously to the stunned Jiang Ke’er. “She’s my husband. She’s just wearing women’s clothes.”

Ma Chenxuan nudged me. “Husband, say something.”

I looked around. The people nearby had automatically cleared a one-meter radius around us, as if we had flashed a yellow health code in public.

My original plan was for Ma Chenxuan to use the art of language to repeatedly reject Jiang Ke’er. She would either back off or be driven mad with frustration.

Now, a path I had never imagined had opened up: Jiang Ke’er would likely think we were psychos and, like the onlookers, stay as far away from us as possible.

Thinking of this, I quickly grabbed Ma Chenxuan’s hand and said to her, “Hello. I’m the husband.”

Before the afternoon even arrived, I got a call from my roommate, Xiaxia.

Xiaxia: “I see you’ve made a comeback.”

My photo had once again graced the Campus Wall. The only saving grace was that Ma Chenxuan’s big face was right there next to mine.

Xiaxia: “Listen to this headline: ‘A Female Husband Appears in Cafeteria No. 2-Is it Lesbianism or Homosexuality?'”

Xiaxia: “The wording is a bit vulgar, but the rhyme is decent. Quite professional.”

Me: “…What else does it say?”

Xiaxia: “‘Why pick wild flowers for love, when you can grow a dick for love?'”

God dammit.

The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. After hanging up, I posted a question on Zhihu: *Can I apply for compensation if I receive heartbreaking comments online?*

The top comment: *Fuck you. Go ahead, give me half the cut.*

I really want to cut all your internet cables.