Chapter 1
Chapter 1
The first time I met my boyfriend, I was pulling a willow tree out of the ground like Lu Zhishen.
It was Arbor Day that year. My roommate and I, both members of the environmental club, were huffing and puffing as we dragged a sapling into a pre-dug hole. She held the tree while I shoveled dirt, working with feverish energy.
“Yueyue, don’t you think our tree is a bit crooked?” my roommate asked, looking up with a worried frown.
It was indeed visibly crooked.
In a moment of madness, I made a decision that-looking back-I’m not sure was lucky or unlucky, but it certainly defied all common sense.
I planted my feet, dropped my hips, grabbed the little tree with both hands, and heaved. I was going to use brute force to rip that sapling right out of the ground.
The result: amidst my roommate’s deafening laughter of “Hahahahaha! Li Yue, are you a total idiot?” there was a loud *thud*. The sapling was uprooted entirely. Glistening sweat rolled down my flushed, hardworking face. I felt proud. I felt glorious.
In the sudden silence, my future boyfriend-then a campus photojournalist-stood there with his mouth agape, staring blankly at the scene.
The camera in his hand did not fail its mission. With a *click*, it recorded that glorious moment.
That evening, a set of photos appeared on the Campus Wall with the caption: “Strength to pluck mountains, spirit to cover the world; a heroine of greening shows her heroic stance.”
From that day on, my boyfriend became deeply obsessed with my unique personal charm and began a relentless pursuit of me.
And I became a viral sensation on the Campus Wall for all four years of college.
*Buzz, buzz.*
The notification sound from WeChat was particularly loud in the quiet study room. I looked at my boyfriend’s focused… sleeping figure and sighed. I reached for his phone, intending to put it on silent.
Unexpectedly, the unread messages made my brow furrow.
Jiang Ke’er: Chenxuan-ge~
Jiang Ke’er: It was such a bother for you before. Are you free this weekend? I’d like to treat you to dinner [Heart.JPG]
Jiang Ke’er: [Cute Kitten Emoji.JPG]
My boyfriend’s name is Chenxuan. On its own, the name sounds like it belongs to a domineering CEO. Add a “ge” to it, and it immediately turns into something soft and flirtatious.
It’s a nice name, but unfortunately, it’s paired with a very common surname: Ma.
“Ma Chenxuan.” I used to tease him that his name was neither modern nor traditional, giving off a distinct “suburban-meets-city” vibe.
He would protest: “What’s wrong with the name Ma? There are plenty of trendy stars named Ma.”
I’d say: “Name some.”
He’d count them off on his fingers: “Ma Chao, Ma Liang, Ma Zhiyuan… oh, I almost forgot, Ma Sanli!”
Me: “…Are any of those people ‘trendy stars’?”
His eyes would well up with tears: “Is Ma Sanli not one?”
He’d add: “Then Neymar surely counts!”
Me: “Neymar is definitely… wait, is Neymar’s surname Ma?!”
I looked at the phone in my hand, then at my slumbering boyfriend. I leaned in close to his ear and whispered softly, “I’m looking at your phone now.”
I gave him fair warning. If he didn’t hear it, that was on him.
I expertly typed in 0424 to unlock it.
This password wasn’t his birthday, nor was it mine. When I first found out, I agonized over it for a long time. Was it a family member’s birthday? An ex-girlfriend’s?
When I finally asked him, he looked at me with genuine shock: “You don’t know?”
He said: “That’s the day Avengers: Endgame was released in China!”
He added: “That’s the anniversary of Iron Man’s death!!”
Me: “…”
Me: “That’s so sad. Did you perform the funeral rites for him?”
I finally understood why, despite having a handsome face, he had been single his entire life before meeting me.
I scrolled through his chat history with Jiang Ke’er.
I wasn’t prepared for what I saw; it was a real eye-opener.
Jiang Ke’er: Chenxuan-ge, you there? You there?
Trendy Star Ma Sanli: ?
Jiang Ke’er: I was buying milk tea for my department this morning and accidentally bought an extra cup.
Jiang Ke’er: I don’t really know anyone else here, only Chenxuan-ge is nice to me. I’ve left the milk tea at your seat~
Trendy Star Ma Sanli: Oh, okay. Thanks.
Trendy Star Ma Sanli: [Sent a Transfer]
Jiang Ke’er: Oh, Chenxuan-ge, why are you being so formal? [Sticking out tongue.JPG]
Despite saying that, she didn’t hesitate for a second to accept the payment.
Jiang Ke’er: Drink it quietly, okay? Don’t let anyone else see you~
Jiang Ke’er: This is a little secret between just the two of us. [Heart.JPG]
Trendy Star Ma Sanli: I already finished it. It only took three gulps.
Trendy Star Ma Sanli: Why would I need to hide while drinking milk tea? It’s not like I’m a secret agent who’s infiltrated the army.
Me: …Are you performing the ‘three gulps to finish a whole pig’ trick here?
The Little Green Tea was persistent, continuing her pursuit for several days straight.
Jiang Ke’er: Chenxuan-ge, my hands hurt so much.
Jiang Ke’er: I’m not very strong… That day when I bought milk tea for you and our department, it was really, really heavy. No one helped me…
Jiang Ke’er: But it’s okay, I’m a tough girl~ I still managed to carry it all by myself.
Jiang Ke’er: (Sends a photo with a soft-focus filter)
Jiang Ke’er: It’s just that the red marks on my hands are still so bad… *Sigh*, sometimes I still feel sad about being all alone. If only there was someone I could rely on, even if they just walked with me for a little while, I would feel so much better…
Seeing this, I couldn’t help but click my tongue in amazement.
First, she showed weakness by explaining her injury. Then, she specifically pointed out that she “bought milk tea for you and the department,” subtly reminding him of her efforts. What followed was a combination punch-a portrait of a woman who was both fragile and strong, silent yet as pure as a lotus flower rising from the water.
Finally, she dropped a heavy hint about being single to spark his imagination.
Anyone would be dazed after reading that.
On the surface, I calmly scrolled down, but my fist-the size of a sandbag-was already clenched tight under the table.
To my surprise-
Trendy Star Ma Sanli: Haha, you didn’t do very well in middle school, did you?
Jiang Ke’er: ?
Me: ?
Trendy Star Ma Sanli: This is 8th-grade physics. When the same amount of force is applied to a surface, the larger the contact area, the lower the pressure, and the less obvious the effect of that force.
Trendy Star Ma Sanli: [Sent an image]
Trendy Star Ma Sanli: This is a force analysis diagram of how you were originally carrying the milk tea.
Trendy Star Ma Sanli: [Sent an image]
Trendy Star Ma Sanli: This is a force analysis diagram of what happens if you put a piece of cardboard under the handle.
Trendy Star Ma Sanli: Now that you’re in college, I guess you’ve returned everything you learned in middle school to your teachers, hahahahaha!
To be honest, before looking at the chat logs, I felt sorry for myself. I had even spent dozens of seconds mentally composing a grand drama titled “The Revenge of the Forsaken Wife.”
Now, I felt sorry for the Little Green Tea.
The Little Green Tea truly lived up to her name. In my eyes, he had already effectively killed the conversation, yet she was actually able to keep reaching out to him as if nothing had happened.
Ma Chenxuan’s patience was visibly wearing thin. Each of his replies came a day or two apart, but she still refused to give up.
Jiang Ke’er: Chenxuan-ge, it’s so dark outside… I’m easily scared. Can you come pick me up from Teaching Building No. 3?
Jiang Ke’er: You’re the most handsome, Gege. I even treated you to milk tea last time. [Heart.JPG]
Trendy Star Ma Sanli: [Sent an audio file]
Trendy Star Ma Sanli: You can listen to ‘The Internationale’ on your way back. Communism will dispel all darkness, ghosts, and monsters.
Jiang Ke’er: Chenxuan-ge~ Can you help me fix my computer?
Trendy Star Ma Sanli: I don’t know how.
Jiang Ke’er: Aren’t you a Computer Science major?
Trendy Star Ma Sanli: Yes. You can quiz me on the relationship between the Z-transform of a sampled sequence and the Discrete Fourier Transform (DFT).
Jiang Ke’er: …
I turned off the phone screen and silently shook my boyfriend awake.
Ma Chenxuan looked dazed, wiping away a bit of drool. “Is class over?”
Me: “Class isn’t over.”
Me: “Are you interested in teaching a course of your own?”
Ma Chenxuan: ?