Chapter 2

“Fuck!”

I yelped and ducked. The spiked club buried itself in the table and seat behind me.

What the fuck… How had that gotten through security?

More importantly, where the hell had he been keeping it?

I launched myself sideways, trying to leap over the next seat and reach Li Yu.

The safest place on earth wasn’t a psychiatric hospital. It was beside Li Yu.

Unfortunately, I’d overestimated myself and crashed straight into the seats.

After watching these two monsters move like superheroes for so long, I’d started thinking I could do it too!

Li Yu was still holding his phone, stroking the screen over and over.

“So smooth, so smooth… all pale and smooth.”

I covered my face.

“Li Yu, if you don’t protect me, someone’s going to beat your baby to death!”

Li Yu shot to his feet.

“He hit my baby? I’ll kill him!”

As he charged over, I finally relaxed. Thank God I had the owner’s manual for operating Li Yu.

Granted, there was that one line on the last page:

“Offer up my ass as a sacrifice!”

That option… was best left unused!

Unless it was literally life or death, there was no need. Absolutely no need…

While I clutched my butt, Li Yu reached Invincible Big Baby and slammed a fist into his skull.

Invincible Big Baby roared,

“I am Third Brother! I have a bronze head and an iron skull!”

Then he declared,

“First Brother, possess me! Grant me boundless strength!”

Invincible Big Baby rammed his head into Li Yu’s chest, sending him stumbling backward.

Li Yu charged in again and punched him hard in the head.

And just like that, those two started yet another turn-based battle.

I couldn’t even watch. All I could do was pray they didn’t get carried away and punch a hole through the fuselage.

At ten thousand meters, wearing your underwear outside your pants still wouldn’t turn you into Superman!

Knowing these two idiots, they might not even put the underwear over their pants. They’d pull it over their heads and yell,

“Dynamic light wave! Pew, pew, pew, pew!”

I was still imagining it when a black blur appeared and slapped me across the face.

The blow nearly sent me airborne.

When the stars cleared from my vision, I saw that Bashful Young Master had hit me.

I gritted my teeth.

“What the hell is wrong with you? Why did you hit me?”

“I’m your manager!”

Bashful Young Master looked impatient.

“Your man and my man are fighting. Shouldn’t we wives fight each other too?”

I…

I rolled my eyes so hard they nearly fell out.

“Who the fuck is your fellow wife?”

“You’re the wife! Your whole family’s made of wives!”

Bashful Young Master actually… blushed…

“Mm. I’m a wife. I’m Brother Calabash’s delicate butterfly wife…”

Goddamn… Chengdu really did deserve its reputation…

Before I could curse him out, Bashful Young Master spoke again.

“Come on, come on. Your turn!”

“I want to fight turn by turn, just like my darling Brother Calabash.”

Turn by turn, my ass…

I was starting to think unemployment might not be so bad.

How had I ended up with a lovesick, brain-dead, yandere, perverted, pretty-boy hardcore bottom as my client?

I grabbed him by the collar and shoved him into his seat.

Through clenched teeth, I said,

“A wife is supposed to be gentle and virtuous. Do you know why Invincible Big Baby doesn’t like you?”

“You’re too crazy. He likes them sweet and devoted.”

Bashful Young Master blinked up at me.

“Really?”

I nodded.

He zipped back to Invincible Big Baby so fast he left an afterimage.

I… Did he run around like a black blur every day? Was he some sleep-deprived Poppy?

Sleep-deprived Poppy—no, Bashful Young Master—grabbed Invincible Big Baby by the ear.

“You dumbass, do you like slender, delicate little bottoms?”

Invincible Big Baby stared blankly.

“What? What thing? What kind of animal?”

Li Yu, surprisingly particular about manners, bowed from the waist.

“Since you have business to attend to, my good sir, let us call a temporary truce!”

We had barely returned to our seats when the plane began to shudder and descend.

I cursed under my breath.

“We’re landing just like that?”

“Where’s the cabin crew? Are they trying to throw me off the plane?”

The instant the words left my mouth, Li Yu and Invincible Big Baby rose to their feet and stood perfectly straight despite the turbulence.

They put on brilliant smiles and adjusted their uniforms.

“Your flight attendants are here to serve you!”

I…

Shit. I’d forgotten about that. What a goddamn mess…

Then Li Yu’s voice sounded beside me.

“Baby, do you like my seductive uniform…?”