Chapter 5
Chapter 5
By the time my eldest sister rushed over after hearing the news, I had already shaken off the palace maids supporting me and slapped Pei Chi hard across the face.
“Pei Chi, do you hate seeing me do well that much?”
Pei Chi neither dodged nor flinched.
His cheek was already swelling, but he only spoke softly.
“Yinyin, why can’t you see how good I’ve been to you?”
“If you had really won and received a reward from His Majesty, what would Yunshao think?”
“What if you sisters grew distant because of it?”
The tears I had been holding back finally came flooding out, and no matter how hard I wiped them away, I couldn’t stop them.
Pei Chi crouched down instinctively and gently wiped at my tears.
“Yinyin, don’t cry.”
“If I can win your eldest sister’s favor, then so be it. I will definitely take you as a concubine.”
“If not, then I’ll truly give up and properly marry you as my wife. We can go on as before and live a safe, steady life together.”
“Isn’t that far better than you risking your life out there in the arena?”
I looked at Pei Chi’s earnest face.
For the first time, I felt that after three years as husband and wife, I might never have truly understood him at all.
This time, my eldest sister moved first.
She grabbed a vase at random and smashed it hard across Pei Chi’s back.
“If my little sister wins first place, I’ll only be happy for her.”
“Just because you’re jealous of the Crown Prince doesn’t mean I’ll be jealous of Yinyin.”
My eldest sister’s eyes were red as she stood in front of me protectively.
“Seven years ago, when you and the Crown Prince fell into the water together, I never should have saved you on impulse.”
Shards slid down Pei Chi’s robes. Blood poured out, quickly staining part of his robe red.
But he seemed not to notice at all. His reddened eyes locked onto my eldest sister.
“What?”
Pei Chi’s voice trembled as he repeated himself.
“Yunshao, what do you mean?”
“Back then, you clearly saved me first…”
The Crown Prince arrived with the imperial physician, and this was the scene that greeted him.
He sighed, unable to hide his disappointment.
“That year, when we both fell into the lotus pond, Yunshao jumped in to save me.”
“But I knew you were afraid of water, so I told her to save you first.”
My eldest sister let out a cold laugh, merciless as ever.
“I never even thought of saving you.”
“Born of the same mother, and yet in every way, you are inferior to the Crown Prince.”
“You were never my first choice.”
Pei Chi stood there as if nailed in place, staring blankly at me.
Then, almost unconsciously, he murmured,
“Yinyin…”
After three years by his side, it was easy for me to tell when he was hurting.
Just as, back then, he had seen through my embarrassment when we were choosing the wedding matron.
After marrying Pei Chi, I had also been able to see, all too easily, the Empress’s and His Majesty’s dislike for him.
When the Empress was pregnant with Pei Chi, the palace maid she trusted most had taken the chance to climb into the Emperor’s bed.
So the Empress loved the Crown Prince more.
His Majesty resented Pei Chi for being weak and sickly, unfit for great responsibility.
He valued the Crown Prince more as well.
My elder sister didn’t love Pei Chi either.
She chose the Crown Prince.
Just like me.
No one ever chose me first.
I understood that.
I was afraid he was hurting for the same reason I once had.
So in my previous life, during the two years when Pei Chi tried to love me,
I had already fallen for him first out of that shared sorrow.
I knelt outside the Empress’s palace for half an hour at a time, begging only that she dine with Pei Chi.
And when His Majesty fell ill, I copied scriptures in my own blood to pray for his recovery, hoping only that he would say to Pei Chi, “My son is thoughtful.”
But in the end, I was wrong.
Past life and present life, love and hatred and grievance all tangled together.
I looked at Pei Chi and spoke softly.
“You got what you wanted.”
“In both my past life and this one, I was never given a chance to choose.”
I paused, forcing down the tightness in my throat.
“Pei Chi, I hate you.”
Strangely enough, at that moment, immense grief welled up in Pei Chi’s eyes.
He hurried forward, wanting to approach me, but my eldest sister and the Crown Prince dragged him outside.
“Yinyin,” he called.
The room fell silent, leaving only the sound of the imperial physician treating my wounds.
I closed my eyes, and tears slid down soundlessly.
In a person’s lifetime, there are not many chances to change their fate.
Heaven had given me two such chances.
What was I supposed to do from here on?
The next moment, the bandages around my knee were tied into place.
The young imperial physician looked up and said softly, “Miss Zhu, would you like to choose one more time?”
I lowered my gaze and saw a pair of clear, watery eyes fixed intently on me.
He looked vaguely familiar.
From outside came my brother’s slightly agitated voice.
“Where’s Yinyin?”
“I said from the start she shouldn’t come, and now she’s really hurt.”
“She just won’t give up until she hits a wall!”
The young imperial physician was sweating with urgency as he raised four fingers in oath.
“I, Wei Zhao, swear that if I harbor any ill intent, I shall die badly.”
“Miss Zhu, if I take you out of the capital, would you be willing to go to Taicang?”
And then I remembered who he was.