Chapter 1
Chapter 1
In the dead silence, Third Prince Pei Chi looked slightly taken aback.
The next moment, my Elder Brother rose to his feet and cast me a calm glance.
“Little Sister is simply overwhelmed with joy.”
“Yinyin, you should thank Third Prince for his favor.”
I bit my lip involuntarily, my eyes stinging.
Again.
In my previous life, I also hadn’t wanted to marry Pei Chi.
Back then, I had looked to my Elder Brother in panic, wanting to speak but stopping myself.
And he had called me the same way, delivering his verdict without a ripple in his voice.
“Yinyin.”
“This is the best fate you could hope for.”
And just like that, I had lost the courage to say anything.
But I had already lived through that kind of fate.
It wasn’t good.
Now, I clenched my sweaty palm and repeated in a small, slow voice,
“Yinyin already has someone she loves.”
The atmosphere instantly turned stiff.
In the end, Pei Chi was the first to speak.
“That’s fine too.”
The surprise in his eyes faded. After a pause, he explained,
“This time, I also want to fight for the very best for myself.”
Then Pei Chi looked at Eldest Sister and asked gently, “Yunshao, could you give it a little more thought?”
His eyes were full of feeling. “After all, I believe I am no worse than Imperial Brother, and I love you no less than he does.”
The moment those words fell-
The Crown Prince pressed a hand to his forehead with a helpless sigh. “A-Chi.”
My Elder Brother frowned. “This…”
Biting her lip, Eldest Sister looked caught between two choices.
No one paid any more attention to my refusal.
Standing in the corner, I quietly let out a breath of relief.
That previous life-so beautiful on the surface-was finally growing distant from me.
In my previous life,
I had once fallen for Pei Chi.
Before the wedding, when it was time to choose training nannies, my Elder Brother brought in two of them and, as always, asked Eldest Sister first.
“Which one do you like better?”
Eldest Sister chose the tall, plump one.
That left me staring at the short, thin one in silence.
I must have been sleep-deprived and out of my mind, because I asked,
“Elder Brother, can I choose first just this once?”
Eldest Sister froze for a moment, then smiled. “Then let Yinyin choose first-”
My Elder Brother cut her off with a frown. “You’re about to be married, and now you think your wings have hardened?”
“I picked both of these women with the utmost care. What’s the difference between them?”
The reproach came crashing down on me from all sides.
I had nowhere to hide. Lowering my head, I clutched my wrist in humiliation.
Pei Chi happened to walk in on that scene while delivering the betrothal gifts.
He looked at me twice.
Then he left.
But that very night, Pei Chi brought a whole line of nannies to the manor.
He woke me from my sleep and said,
“Zhu Yinyin, you choose.”
It was the first time in my life I had ever been given a choice, and I stood there dazed for a long while.
Only when he gently wiped away the tears at the corners of my eyes did Pei Chi speak his promise softly.
“Since I have chosen you as my wife, I will protect you.”
“Miss Zhu, I will try to love you.”
Pei Chi tried for two years.
He stopped paying attention to Eldest Sister and loved me with his whole heart.
When he returned to the capital after investigating a case in Cangzhou, he brought back only a single rainbow dress.
It was only for me.
For some reason, I burst into tears.
Pei Chi gathered me into his arms and coaxed me softly.
“I know Yinyin has suffered.”
“It’s all right. You have a husband now.”
“You won’t ever have to take what others left behind again.”
Pei Chi was a man who never broke his word.
For those two years, from small matters like choosing dishes for the manor or selecting servants, to great matters like choosing the prince’s estate or accepting the Emperor’s rewards,
Pei Chi would always answer with a smile, “I need to ask my wife first.”
Rumors spread through the capital that Pei Chi was spineless and henpecked.
Whenever I heard it, my face would burn, but my heart felt warm.
I had even been grateful that, all those years ago, Pei Chi had chosen me.
Until the day of the Empress’s birthday banquet.
The Crown Prince had his arm around Eldest Sister as he reported with unconcealed joy,
“Father Emperor, she is with child.”
Pei Chi’s hand, which had been fixing my hair, suddenly froze.
A few strands slipped loose and fell into the sweet soup.
Sticky. Unpleasant.
That night, Pei Chi got drunk for the first time in a long while.
On the carriage ride back to the residence, Pei Chi ignored my attempts to push him away and moved inside me as he pleased.
Only a curtain separated us from the driver, whose hand quickened on the whip.
Hot sweat dripped onto my neck. Humiliated, I turned my face away.
But he grabbed my jaw hard and forced me back.
Pei Chi’s voice was thick with desire. “Why won’t you look at me?”
“Miss Zhu, your eyes are so beautiful. Why is there no trace of me in them?”
Gripping the window gauze, I argued hoarsely, “I did. I looked, I did.”
“A-Chi, a little gentler. It hurts…”
But Pei Chi didn’t stop.
He only grew angrier, tormenting me with deliberate cruelty.
“Liar.”
“Zhu Yunshao, your eyes are plainly full of no one but my imperial elder brother.”
My vision blurred, but I still retorted sharply.
“I’m not! I’m not!”
But I wasn’t able to protest for long.
Because Pei Chi reached out and covered my mouth and nose.
He rarely lost control like this. His eyes were bloodshot as he repeated it again and again.
“You are, you are!”
“Yinyin, I remember your eyes, so bright, so sincere.”
It was like a snapped string had suddenly been tied back together.
All at once, I understood why, on so many nights of passion, Pei Chi had always liked to cover my face with a handkerchief.
Leaving only my eyes exposed.
And just like that, I suddenly had no strength left to struggle free.
When I woke again,
I was on the bed, with several imperial physicians kneeling on the floor, trembling.
Pei Chi looked utterly bereft, his lips dry.
There was a dull ache in my lower abdomen.
Pei Chi slowly rubbed warmth into my palm and spoke softly.
It wasn’t an apology, nor was it guilt.
He said,
“Yinyin, so love really can’t be transferred.”
“I have regrets.”
But what was done was done. In the end, Pei Chi could not fight his own blood brother for the woman he loved.
He didn’t abandon me either. He kept soothing me.
Even when the miscarriage drove me half mad and I smashed an inkstone against his head until it split open,
Pei Chi merely wiped the blood away as if nothing had happened and said softly, “Be careful not to hurt your hand.”
My anger always felt like a fist sinking into cotton.
Weak. Useless.
In the eyes of outsiders, we were still a loving couple, no different from before.
It was only that when I woke in the middle of the night from the lingering aftereffects of the miscarriage, Pei Chi would always be sitting by the table with his head lowered, quietly sketching a portrait.
Or when he returned to the capital after another assignment, Pei Chi would bring back identical bird’s nest, tonics,
and baby clothes and shoes.
One set for me.
One set for elder sister.
Even at the Imperial Polo Banquet a year later, Pei Chi personally trained two Ferghana horses.
Elder sister glanced at me awkwardly and declined. “You’re thoughtful, brother-in-law, but the Crown Prince has already prepared one for me.”
She had only just come out of her post-miscarriage confinement, and her smile was bright and easy.
“Yinyin, I’ve been holding back for so long. Come on, let’s have a proper match.”
I didn’t look at the hollow-eyed Pei Chi as I swung onto my horse.
That time, I wanted to take first place.
Because I wanted to ask His Majesty for a favor, to divorce Pei Chi.
But things did not go as I wished.
That day, elder sister’s horse and mine both went mad.
The Crown Prince’s eyes went wide with fury. “Yunshao!” He leaped toward elder sister.
I wasn’t surprised.
But Pei Chi also rushed toward me on instinct.
He pulled me into his arms to shield me, but his own lung was crushed beneath the horse’s hooves.
The imperial physicians did everything they could, but they still couldn’t save him.
I stood there blankly beside Pei Chi’s bed.
Blood spilled from the corner of his lips, but his eyes held only relief.
“I chose that horse for you. It’s only right that I take responsibility for you.”
“Yinyin, I don’t owe you anymore.”
At that moment, my throat felt as though I had swallowed molten iron. I couldn’t even force out a sound.
After that, he looked toward elder sister, who was wiping away my tears for me.
A very, very long time later,
Pei Chi smiled and reached out to touch my brow bone.
Then he let out a long sigh.
“In this life, I aimed for the best, and in the end got only second best.”