Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The next day, the sky was overcast, looking as though it might snow.

During breakfast, Shen Qinghe dawdled, reluctant to record the expenses.

However, he soon realized that if he didn’t pick up the brush, I wouldn’t pick up my chopsticks.

It was just like last night when I moved into the side room; I had insisted on recording the costs for the extra charcoal and the lodging.

The Shen family was not as well-off as the Cui family. Breakfast consisted of only two bowls of thin porridge, a basket of steamed buns, and half a plate of pickled cucumbers-all of which were piled in front of me.

He could only force himself to recall how much the street stalls sold breakfast for, terrified of overcharging me by even a single copper coin.

Seeing that he recorded the prices fairly, I felt a slight sense of relief.

It seemed this Shen Qinghe wasn’t a bad person after all.

Around noon, a light snow began to fall. Shen Qinghe said he wanted to accompany me to buy the qin, but he saw my reluctance.

He held an umbrella, hesitating for a long time before finally stammering out a “threat”:

“If I don’t go with you, what if you spend too much or record the entry wrong? How would I know?”

…

He was right.

We didn’t speak a word to each other along the way.

The snow wasn’t heavy, and one umbrella should have been enough to shield two people from the elements.

But with two hearts feeling awkward, snow ended up dusting both of our shoulders.

As we passed a clothing shop, Shen Qinghe suddenly pulled me to a stop.

He took a fancy to a pale pink satin padded jacket and skirt, then picked out a velvet flower adorned with seed pearls to hold up against my temple.

Cui Ning had told me before that winter clothes were very expensive. Even if I washed clothes for others until my hands were raw, I wouldn’t be able to afford a single piece.

But the outfit was so beautiful and thick, and the velvet flower was so bright and delicate; I couldn’t tear my eyes away.

I gripped the ledger in my hand and turned my head away in embarrassment.

“Even if you lend me the money, I can’t afford it.”

Shen Qinghe cleared his throat, intentionally putting on a stern face.

“This clothing isn’t being bought for you. It’s to maintain the appearance of the Shen Family Pharmacy.

“If you ever stop living with the Shen family in the future, you’ll have to return these clothes to me.”

So I would have to return them later. That was fine then.

Hearing this, my heart settled a little.

That made sense. Why would anyone be so good to me for no reason?

Shen Qinghe tilted the umbrella further toward me. Fearing I might pull away, he added, “I… I’m just afraid the clothes will get ruined by the snow.”

The new clothes on my body were thick and warm-so warm that my eyes grew a bit misty.

Looking at Shen Qinghe’s shoulder, which was mostly soaked, I whispered a thank you to him in my heart.

Inside the instrument shop, Shen Qinghe’s eyes lit up when he saw my mother’s qin.

“What a beautiful qin. No wonder it costs thirty-three taels.”

The shopkeeper stroked his beard and adjusted the spectacles on the bridge of his nose. He took the opportunity to ask Shen Qinghe if they needed a tutor, mentioning that their best teacher, Aunt Mei, had previously taught Eldest Young Master Cui how to play at the Cui family estate.

I knew of Aunt Mei. She and my mother had originally been musicians in the same troupe. Hiring her would cost a fortune.

“I won’t learn. I just need to keep the qin.”

But I spoke too late. Shen Qinghe had already signed his name on the agreement as a matter of course, arguing righteously:

“Of course you have to learn. I was originally planning to spend money to hire a musician anyway.

“Once you’ve learned, I won’t have to hire one. But don’t expect me to pay you any wages.”

Shen Qinghe’s words vaguely reminded me of my mother.

It was the same in the past. I used to envy the other children who had candied winter melon to eat.

I knew Mother didn’t earn much money, so I never asked her for any.

But Mother saw through my thoughts. She secretly bought three pieces of candy, yet she was afraid I wouldn’t be able to eat them with a clear conscience.

She had even feigned anger, saying that her employer owed her wages and had given her the candied winter melon to settle the debt.

No matter how foolish I was, I knew that Shen Qinghe was just like my mother back then-simply looking for an excuse.

Maintaining appearances, hiring a musician…

He just wanted to be good to me, yet he was afraid I wouldn’t accept it.

Leaving the shop, Shen Qinghe felt his deflated purse at his waist and scratched his head in embarrassment.

“Xiaoyu, how about we eat vegetarian for the next few days?”

I knew that buying the qin and hiring the teacher had exhausted Shen Qinghe’s already meager savings.

It didn’t matter; I was very good at living frugally.

To save money on charcoal, I moved into Shen Qinghe’s bedroom.

And to save money on paper and ink, he copied his borrowed zither scores into his account books.

Hugging my hot water bottle, I asked Shen Qinghe, who was sleeping on the floor:

“Since you’re using the account books for zither scores, where are you recording the expenses for my food and board in the Shen family?”

The room was filled with the white glow of the snow; outside in the courtyard, it had piled up thick.

Shen Qinghe pointed out the window, his face full of pride.

“Paper and ink are expensive, so I’ve written everything you owe me in the snow. It’s frozen solid out there, so you can just focus on eating in peace!”

We could skimp on everything else, but apprenticing to learn the zither required gifts of dried fish and cured meat.

When the moon rose over the treetops, Shen Qinghe shouldered his fishing rod. With a creel in one hand and my hand in the other, he promised me solemnly:

“When we get back, we’ll have braised fish, sweet and sour fish, and fish ball soup!”

The riverbank in winter was silent. A clear, bright moon shone down on the fresh snow.

For the first time on a winter night, I didn’t feel cold. Instead, I felt very much at ease.

Clutching the small hand warmer Shen Qinghe had given me, I was so sleepy I couldn’t help but lean toward him.

The fish had probably gone to sleep too, as they refused to take the bait.

By the time the moon reached the middle of the sky, the hand warmer had gone cold. A gust of wind blew past, and I let out a soft sneeze.

On the way back, Shen Qinghe carried me on his back as I drifted in and out of sleep, his footsteps heavy and uneven in the snow.

He held the empty creel, looking a bit dejected.

“I’m sorry, Xiaoyu. It looks like we’re going to be eating stir-fried cabbage for a few more days.

“And here I was, boasting that I’d give you a good life.

“I didn’t catch a single fish, and I even let you freeze out here with me.”

It was just like how my mother used to constantly blame herself for being poor and unable to give me a good life.

But I never felt pitiable; I only remembered feeling safe and at peace by her side.

Just as I felt now with Shen Qinghe.

Afraid that he would be sad, I leaned against his shoulder and whispered words of comfort:

“Actually, I don’t like eating fish at all.

“Your stir-fried cabbage is delicious!”

This praise visibly lifted his spirits.

“Really?”

“Really.”

Back at the Cui Family, the table would be full of delicacies from the mountains and seas, but they were always placed far away from me.

I had been hungry and craved them, but I never dared to reach out with my chopsticks or eat more than one bowl of rice, for fear of being scolded again.

During these few days with the Shen family, there were only two plates of vegetables on the table, yet he pushed both of them in front of me and even heaped my rice bowl until it was overflowing.

I suddenly wanted to ask Shen Qinghe if he remembered that one mace of cassia twig.

Shen Qinghe shook his head honestly.

“I’ve had too many loss-making deals; I don’t remember.”

If he didn’t remember, then why did he seek out Matchmaker Liu to marry me?

“It’s because my pharmacy often loses money, so I haven’t saved much.

“Matchmaker Liu said you studied bookkeeping under Cui Ning and even had your own account book that you kept perfectly.

“I thought to myself, isn’t this a massive bargain just waiting for me to pick up? To marry a wife who’s also a formidable accountant.”

But he had lost money again.

Matchmaker Liu had lied to him; the account book was a fake.

I wasn’t a formidable accountant either, and I certainly wasn’t worth thirty-three taels.

Shen Qinghe, however, looked quite pleased with himself.

“I think I got a great deal. I spent thirty-three taels and married a girl who is both beautiful and good at math.

“And you’re about to start learning the zither, so you’ll be a girl who is beautiful, good at math, and can play the zither.

“In all of Gusu Street, there isn’t a man more shrewd than me!”

When he got smug, he was like a drunken fox, walking with a wobble.

I felt that wasn’t quite right and corrected him in a small voice:

“Dummy! You should have said a *wife* who is beautiful, good at math, and can play the zither.”

Shen Qinghe fell silent. Suddenly, his face felt even hotter than the hand warmer in my arms.

I pricked up my ears warily, wondering if he was secretly doing math in his head.

Otherwise, why was his heart louder than the beads of an abacus, thumping and racing without stop?