Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The moment you stepped through the door, your blurred vision finally sank into complete darkness.

And yet, you found it more reassuring than being able to see. This was the color you were used to.

You had no idea how long you had been walking when a glimmer of light appeared before your eyes.

Then the light exploded. The entire world was bleached white, as if the base colors of a film reel had been reversed, or like a translucent X-ray negative.

Only black and white remained.

Through the haze, you made out a hall. There were eight rows of pews on either side, a pulpit straight ahead, and on the wall behind it hung a massive image of Christ.

Was this the chapel inside the villa?

You watched in silence.

White light flashed before your eyes again. Now the entire chapel was filled with figures, and a priest in black robes was reciting the Bible.

The congregation sat in solemn silence. Only the priest’s voice echoed through the chapel.

In a daze, you suddenly felt as if you had seen this scene before.

A low rustling came from behind you, interrupting your memories. You turned and saw countless strands of ivy creeping in through the door, their tendrils writhing as they spread in every direction. For some reason, fear welled up from the depths of your heart. You shouted at the crowd, “Run! Hurry, run!”

But they seemed unable to see you. No one paid you any attention. You tried to push them, only to find your hands passing straight through their bodies. You were like a ghost made of air.

The ivy soon covered the chapel. Its huge leaves trembled, then burst into flames in an instant. Roaring fire devoured the chapel.

Only then did the crowd descend into panic. They fought to flee outside. The priest dropped the Bible. Lovers ran in opposite directions. You even saw a couple and their child torn apart by the crush of bodies. The child cried out for his mom and dad in the flames, but no one answered. Amid the thick smoke and chaos, the child sobbed and coughed as if his heart were being ripped apart, tears and snot spilling out with every cough… The last thing you saw was the child’s helpless face being swallowed by fire.

You felt something cool on your face. When you reached up, you touched tears.

Am I crying? Your mood sank for reasons you could not explain. Who was that child? Why did he feel so familiar?

When you opened your eyes again, you found yourself in a new scene. This was an elementary school. Many children surrounded a little blind boy, pointing at him and laughing without mercy. A mischievous boy stepped forward and snatched away the blind boy’s cane. When the blind boy fearfully groped along the ground and begged them to give it back, the boy even tripped him, sending him sprawling, which only set off even louder laughter from the crowd.

The crowd eventually scattered, and the little blind boy stayed on the playground for an entire day before a teacher finally found him.

You watched it all happen, powerless to do anything.

Only your clenched fists betrayed your emotions. Were you angry?

Was that me?

The scene shifted again. This time, what appeared before you confirmed the answer. It was the bedroom you knew better than anywhere else.

You saw your mother buy the Kobe Bryant poster you had wanted most and describe every detail on it to you, bit by bit, but you cried and tore it to shreds. You saw your father buy a complete set of fairy-tale books and read them to you every night in a gentle voice, but you only cried and threw the books all over the floor. You saw your mother often get up early to buy you fresh flowers, only so you could smell their brief fragrance when you woke up, but you never accepted it. You blamed them without restraint, hated them for leaving you behind in that sea of fire, and venomous words spilled from your mouth.

They only remained silent.

After that, you seemed to grow a little older, but you became even more withdrawn. You stopped going outside. You had no friends. You even stopped speaking to your parents. You feared crowds, feared the strange looks others gave you. You feared your parents, feared the chapel where they had lost you. It should have been filled with holy light, but there, you had lost your eyes. You often crouched in the corner, trembling, and day after day, time passed just like that.

…

You grew into an adult, but if anything, you seemed to talk even less. To outsiders, you were always spacing out, often for an entire day at a time. But only you knew what a wonderful world you had built inside your own mind. In that world, you still couldn’t see, but you had a harmonious family. You could talk to your parents about anything. You chatted with the young woman who lived downstairs, and you often went down to shoot the breeze with the old men and women, listening to their stories. That world was dark, yet to you, it was bright. As time went on, somewhere deep in your subconscious, you even began to fear seeing the light again.

To you, light belonged to that dangerous world filled with loneliness, ridicule, and filth.

You gave yourself a new identity and sealed away the memories from before-the memories that were agony to you.

You sighed and couldn’t help closing your eyes.

When you opened them again, the scene had changed. It seemed you had arrived at a hospital.

Doctors and nurses came and went inside the ward.

You saw your mother, wearing the same hospital gown as you, rambling on and on. Your father had gotten into an accident while driving long-distance. She herself had worked day and night until she finally collapsed, all her old illnesses and injuries flaring up at once. It was clear she only had a few days left. But fortunately, at the very end, she could use the large compensation payment from the other party to cover your surgery, and give you her corneas.

There would still be some money left after the operation, enough to cover your expenses for a while. She had also arranged everything for her own funeral, so you didn’t need to worry.

Your surgery was scheduled for 5:45 that afternoon. After you were given anesthesia, you were wheeled into the operating room.

In a haze, you finally fell asleep.

The scene ended there.

In the black-and-white world, a faint point of light appeared, followed by a blaze of radiance.

At last, you escaped from that world.

The gauze wrapped around your eyes was unwound layer by layer. After so many years, you finally saw the world again.

Only, your eyes wouldn’t stop shedding tears.

After you were discharged, the first place you went was your parents’ grave. Because the journey was long, the round trip took a great deal of time.

You stood before the graves, unable to say a word.

By the time you turned the key and opened the door to your home again, it was already dusk. The fading light shone in through the window, casting everything in a dim yellow glow.

No one was home. It felt a little cold and empty.

You walked into the bedroom. The first thing you saw was the yellowing Kobe Bryant poster on the wall. It had been patched up with strips of tape, giving it an oddly comical look. On the desk sat a complete set of fairy tale books. Many of the pages were creased, as though they had been turned countless times, but once the dust was blown off, the covers still looked brand-new. It was clear their owner had treasured them dearly and couldn’t bear to dirty them.

Light poured in through the window, dust motes drifting up and down within it.

In front of the light were withered carnations.

As if remembering something, you pulled open a drawer. Sure enough, you found a radio inside.

You sat down in the chair and pressed the play button, facing the sunset.

A familiar voice came from within.

“Now, when it comes to crosstalk, there are four basic skills.”

“Right.”

“The four basic skills: cheating, swindling, tricking, and conning!”

“What?”

“Oh-speaking, imitation, teasing, and singing!”

“Oh, come on!”

…