Chapter 4
The memorial hall still needed cleaning, so Chu Yunmo and I moved to the imperial study to talk.
The moment I entered, I was dazzled by the stacks of memorials piled nearly as high as a man on his desk.
I stepped closer and circled them for a better look.
“Yunmo, when I saw your red eyes in the memorial hall, I thought you were grieving your father. Now I see you’ve simply been slacking off and finally snapped while rushing to clear your deadline backlog!”
I casually pulled out a memorial that looked twice as thick as the others. Page after page of neat small script rolled on without end, rising and falling like a mountain range, with the signature Censor Xu Zheng at the bottom.
I flipped through several other thick ones. Every last one had come from Censor Xu Zheng.
He criticized everything from the hour Chu Yunmo woke to his attitude in court, from his temper and character to the present state of the government and its effect on future generations.
In brief:
Why are you so incompetent?
Why are you incompetent and still not working harder?
Why did you work harder and remain incompetent?
Therefore, why are you so incompetent…
Well, look at that. He’d trapped Chu Yunmo in an infinite loop.
I gave Chu Yunmo a sympathetic glance. Nobody else could have made such a mess of being emperor.
Just then, a Shadow Guard reported that the assassins had been identified. They had been sent by the Left Chancellor.
Chu Yunmo’s expression immediately darkened.
“The Left Chancellor has long been in secret contact with Prince Yong’an. He means to exploit the unrest and seize the throne, but I never expected him to dare send assassins directly!
“If only his connections weren’t so extensive…”
My eyes lit up. Finally, a job!
With great ceremony, I cupped my hands before me.
“Your Majesty, I have a plan that will punish the Left Chancellor without alarming the forces behind him!”
“Observe.” I pointed to the pile of memorials on the desk. “First, we bring the Censor’s daughter into the palace, then keep the Censor bottled up for ten days or so. After that, we send someone to steal his ancestral tablets and throw them into the Left Chancellor’s residence, framing him for the theft. Then…”
I waggled my eyebrows at Chu Yunmo with all the furtiveness of a thief.
Chu Yunmo: “…Impressive.”
Early the next morning, Chu Yunmo used the pretext of selecting a study companion for the eldest princess to coax—and more or less abduct—Censor Xu’s daughter, Xu Wanying, into the palace.
Yes, in addition to the title of Imperial Tutor the late emperor had just bestowed on me, I had also picked up the rank of eldest princess.
After all, announcing that the Imperial Tutor needed a study companion would have made our intentions a little too obvious.
The instant Xu Wanying entered the palace, she dropped to her knees with a smack. Trembling like a sieve, she wailed through her tears.
“Take your grievances to the one who caused them and collect your debts from the one who owes them. If Your Majesty truly hates him that much, put a sack over my father’s head and beat him! Why come after me?”
Well, well. This young friend had something of my own spirit.
I tentatively explained our original plan. To my surprise, Xu Wanying’s eyes lit up.
“Me, me! I know where my family’s ancestral tablets are kept. I can show you the way. I can be useful!”
Such filial devotion. Truly moving.
I hurried to help Xu Wanying up, my gaze burning with emotion. A kindred spirit!
Chu Yunmo: I am forever an outsider in this world, simply because I am far too normal.