chapter 3

I missed Mama terribly.

But I could not bring trouble to her. She was only a common healer woman, helpless against the oppressive might of the Prime Minister’s mansion.

If I wanted to escape the mansion for good, I needed a patron that even the mansion could not control.

So I sent a bowl of calming decoction to my aunt.

My heart churned with unease, unsure whether my aunt would welcome my presumption.

But I knew nothing else. Back at the Prime Minister’s mansion, there were so many things to learn — music, chess, calligraphy, painting — and I was hopeless at all of them.

Song Ruoyun excelled at everything.

Set against her gleaming jewel, I looked clumsy and worthless.

When I offered soup at home, my mother took a few sips; my father was too busy to be seen; and my brother fed the soup to the yellow watchdog in the yard, warning me coldly not to waste my effort on useless things.

The calming decoction was set before my aunt. She stirred it with a spoon and asked, “What is this?”

I clenched my hands and answered, “I noticed dark circles under your eyes, Aunt. I guessed you sleep poorly, so I brewed this calming decoction for you.”

My aunt looked at me with keen interest. “You know medicine?”

“Before I was taken back to the Prime Minister’s mansion, I learned a little healing from someone outside.”

She beckoned me closer. I went to her, and she held my hand and patted it gently. “Your elder female cousin has married and moved out, and your elder cousin Ji isn’t the considerate sort. Your aunt would love a little daughter to keep her company. It’s perfect that you’ve come. Here with your aunt, you have nothing to fear.”

Meeting her clear, honest gaze, I lowered my head in silence.

My elder cousins were among the most accomplished people in the capital. Even inside the Prime Minister’s mansion I had heard of their reputations.

And my aunt was using them to comfort me.

I had thought that after a year in that mansion I had learned to wear a mask, yet someone could still see through my misery at a glance.

She took my hand and sat me down. “To think of coming to me, you must have suffered a great deal. Your mother is the proudest, most face-saving woman there is. She has a quick temper, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about you. Since you’re staying with me, the two of you can have some time apart, and she can cool her head.”

I was a little surprised that my aunt would speak up for my mother. Weren’t the two of them on bad terms?

A servant announced from the doorway: “The Young Prince has arrived.”

My aunt looked toward the door and called out to the person who had not yet entered: “Where have you been? I told you to come over early, and here you are dragging your feet until now.”

A young man with his hair bound in a high ponytail crossed the threshold. “Elder Sister was hosting a polo match and dragged me over to help. She only let me go a moment ago.”

He took a few steps in, then paused slightly at the sight of me.

I rose and bowed to him. “Cousin.”

My aunt said, “This is your little cousin Zhenzhen.”

I looked up at him, and he looked back at me, one brow lifting lightly. “The new sister my aunt’s family took in?”

In the year I had spent back at the Prime Minister’s mansion, I had attended only those two banquets.

My mother had assigned a special senior maidservant to teach me etiquette, and forbade me from showing my face until I had mastered it.

For both the reunion banquet and my coming-of-age ceremony, Ji Wenli had been out of the capital, and since the two families rarely interacted, this was our first meeting.

He patted himself down, found nothing to give, and said, “I came in a hurry and didn’t prepare a gift for my little sister. I’ll make it up to you later.”

I shook my head. “No need, Cousin. Don’t trouble yourself.”

My aunt said, “You have nothing to do today, do you? Take your little sister out for a stroll. Buy her whatever she fancies.”

I could not refuse, so I followed Ji Wenli out of the Prince’s mansion.

He rode a horse; I took a carriage.

We went straight to the Treasure Pavilion, the largest shop of its kind in the capital.

Ji Wenli was free with his money, pointing at one treasure and then another for the shopkeeper to wrap up.

I kept thinking of the poise and restraint the mansion’s senior maidservant had drilled into me — no loud voices, no large gestures.

But my protests seemed to fall on deaf ears.

I said, “Cousin, that’s enough. We have plenty.”

He said, “This one, and this one, and this one too.”

I had to grab his sleeve and raise my voice. “Cousin!”

He turned back, and a teasing smile crept into his eyes. “There, that’s much livelier. A moment ago you looked like some little old lady from who knows which household.”

So he had been deliberately teasing me.

My face flushed red, and I let go of his sleeve.

He leaned against the counter with his arms crossed, and even that sloppy posture carried a certain rakish charm.

“Little sister, tell your elder cousin what you like, and I’ll buy it all for you.”

I shook my head, about to say I didn’t care for such things.

But another voice cut in.

“No need for the Young Prince to trouble himself. Zhenzhen still has me, her real brother.”

My whole body went rigid. I turned around.

Song Lan, my true elder brother, stood behind me with frost on his face.