Chapter 7

Xiangxiang’s parent-teacher meeting was held just before winter break.

Calling it a parent-teacher meeting was not quite accurate. It was really a parent-child class organized by the kindergarten.

The night before, Xiangxiang was too excited to sleep and kept burrowing against me.

The smile never left his little mouth. “Mommy, when we go to kindergarten tomorrow, they’re all going to be so jealous of me.”

“Jealous of what?”

“Jealous that I have such an amazing mommy!”

So in his eyes, I was amazing.

Other than my fans, no one had praised me with such wholehearted certainty in a very long time.

I gathered him into my arms, unable to keep a greedy hope from taking root in my heart.

If only Xiangxiang could always stay by my side.

Xiangxiang nuzzled against me and called “Mommy” in a syrupy voice.

“I saw you outside the kindergarten before.”

My mouth parted in surprise.

Xiangxiang continued, “You were wearing a mask and a hat, but I still knew it was you.”

“Because you kept looking at Xiangxiang.”

“Mommy, I wasn’t wrong, was I?”

I held him tighter. “No. Mommy was always there.”

In the early years, Xiangxiang lived with his paternal grandparents in the He family home, and I had very few chances to see him.

Later, He Jinnan brought him to Shanghai and enrolled him in kindergarten.

Whenever I was not working, I would sometimes stand among the parents picking up their children and catch a distant glimpse of him.

I had bought this apartment in Shanghai because it was close to Xiangxiang’s kindergarten.

But I never dared let him know.

I was afraid too—afraid he believed I had abandoned him, and afraid he would say, “You’re not my mommy.”

Fortunately, my child had been raised so very well.

…

Xiangxiang woke early the next morning to get ready.

He admired himself in the mirror for ages.

I had no idea who had taught him to be so vain.

When he saw me laughing behind him, Xiangxiang flushed with embarrassment.

“Mommy, can you put some white stuff on my face?”

“What?”

“Xiaomei’s mommy is coming today too. I want to look handsome.”

I did not know whether to laugh or cry. “You like Xiaomei that much?”

Xiangxiang nodded. “When the kids at kindergarten made fun of me before, Xiaomei was the only one who helped me. She even said she’d share half of her mommy with me.”

“But I said no. I told her I had a mommy, and if I called someone else Mommy, you’d be sad when you found out.”

“Xiaomei is a hero. She always protects me at kindergarten. So I thought about it, and I’m going to marry her when I grow up.”

“Grandma’s TV dramas say that’s how you repay someone with your hand in marriage.”

In the end, I rubbed some Frog Prince face cream on Xiangxiang. He could not have been more pleased with his reflection.

“Just as I thought—fair and smooth.”

I was utterly torn between laughter and exasperation.

I had assumed He Jinnan would not come today. But just as Xiangxiang and I finished getting ready and were about to go downstairs,

I saw his car parked outside.

Xiangxiang was delighted. He held my hand with one of his and He Jinnan’s with the other.

At the kindergarten entrance, he held his head even higher.

To everyone he met, he announced, “Look, I do have a mommy.”

He Jinnan began to feel slighted.

“Why don’t you tell them you have a dad too?”

Xiangxiang released his hand. “Mommy is a big star. You’re just an ordinary person. What’s there to show off about?”

He Jinnan laughed in exasperation. In all his life, no one had ever called him ordinary.

He followed Xiangxiang and me at an unhurried pace.

Xiangxiang introduced me to Xiaomei and her mother.

To my surprise, Xiaomei’s mother was a fan of my films.

She was so thrilled to see me that she almost jumped for joy.

The parent-child class was the final class of the semester.

Xiangxiang had a wonderful time.

After winter break began, he stayed with me for a while.

Before the Lunar New Year, He Jinnan took Xiangxiang back to Beijing.

Xiangxiang was on the verge of tears when he left. For once, he threw a tantrum like an ordinary child.

With no other choice, He Jinnan simply picked him up and carried him into the car.

Once inside, Xiangxiang cried himself out and became angry.

“Daddy, if you weren’t so useless, Mommy could come back to Beijing and celebrate the New Year with us.”

He Jinnan was silent for a long time. “Do you want Mommy and Daddy to live together?”

Xiangxiang lowered his head and gave a soft hum of assent.

Then he sighed, wrestling with some private worry.

For once, He Jinnan patiently explained things to him.

“Daddy and Mommy separated partly because, as you said, Daddy used to be useless and not brave enough. The other reason was that Grandpa and Grandma didn’t like Mommy. Daddy is useful now, but they still don’t like her. If Mommy went home with us for the New Year, they would treat her badly.”

Xiangxiang scrunched up his face. “What will make Grandpa and Grandma like Mommy?”

“Want to know? I’ll tell you.”

And so, on his first night back in Beijing,

Xiangxiang carried his pillow into his grandparents’ room.

Lying between them, he sighed and tossed and turned.

The two elders asked what was wrong.

Xiangxiang frowned. “Grandma, why does everyone else have one daddy, but I have two?”

They did not understand what he meant and exchanged puzzled looks.

Xiangxiang sighed again.

“Daddy held hands and hugged an uncle. Daddy told me to call that uncle Dad too.”

“Daddy also said he’s going to be with that uncle forever.”

The two elders were so shocked that they could not sleep.

They tossed and turned all night.

The next morning, both had dark circles under their eyes.

They cornered He Jinnan in the living room and demanded, “What did Xiangxiang mean about that uncle?”

He Jinnan ate his breakfast without changing expression. “Oh, him? He’s my new boyfriend.”

“I’ll bring him over another day to offer you New Year’s greetings.”

He Jinnan’s father saw black and collapsed on the spot.

Looking at his father, who had supposedly fainted from rage, He Jinnan sighed helplessly.

“Dad, stop pretending. You’re healthy as an ox.”

His father flew into a rage and cursed several times. “Unfilial wretch! You unfilial wretch!”

He Jinnan ignored him.

Madam He was beside herself with regret and berated her husband relentlessly. “Back then… who told you to meddle, finding fault with this and that? Well, look what you’ve done! You’ve found the He family another son. What glory you’ve brought to our family name!”

On Lunar New Year’s Eve, I had just finished a phone call with my parents

when Xiangxiang video-called me.

He happily showed me the dumplings he had made.

The moment our call ended, the doorbell rang.

I got up and looked through the peephole. I assumed it was Zhouzhou and Xiaoxiao, but to my surprise it was He Jinnan.

I opened the door in confusion, and he walked in without the slightest hesitation.

I stood there blankly for a moment. “Aren’t you supposed to be in Beijing?”

He looked at me, his lips curving into a smile. “I came to spend the New Year with you.”

I was still too stunned to react.

I merely answered with a faint “Oh.”

He set the piping-hot dishes he had brought on the table.

Then, entirely on his own initiative, he went to my wine cabinet and opened a bottle.

His behavior as though he owned the place made me laugh in exasperation. “You certainly make yourself at home.”

Opening the wine, he looked at me. “We’ve already had a child together. What’s the point of standing on ceremony? Even if you don’t care about old feelings, you could at least take pity on me for flying all the way from Beijing to keep you company for the New Year.”

I clicked my tongue softly. “How did I never notice how shameless you are?”

That night, we talked about so much of the past.

As we kept drinking, we both grew tipsy.

We were two grown adults, a man and a woman alone in the same room. After enough alcohol, something was bound to happen.

When I woke the next morning, I irritably kicked He Jinnan straight out of bed.

“Have you no shame? A man your age, and you’ve learned to sneak into women’s beds?”

He Jinnan slowly got to his feet, a roguish grin playing on his lips. “You were the one who kissed me first, and now you’re blaming me?”

I snorted and kicked his leg. “Move. Change the sheets.”

He answered, “Fine.”

I took a long, comfortable shower.

Thinking back carefully, it did seem I had made the first move.

But I saw nothing wrong with it. I was thirty years old. Having needs was perfectly normal.

Besides, He Jinnan had kept himself in excellent shape over the years.

I paid the incident no mind, but He Jinnan did.

Day after day, he appeared before me just to remind me of his existence.

Every so often, he would even shamelessly ask whether I needed his services.

I always told him coldly to get lost.

The older he became, the thicker his skin grew.

At some point, He Jinnan had apparently become a believer in the saying…

A slap meant affection; a curse meant love.