chapter 5

By May 1999, I had become a junior cook at the restaurant. I earned more than seven hundred yuan a month and could bring home several dishes I had cooked as a late-night meal after every shift.

After more than a year together, my father-in-law and I had truly become family.

The neighbors called me a live-in son-in-law, but I did not care.

So what if I had married into her family?

I had no family of my own. What was wrong with finding one?

…

One evening, I came home carrying dishes from work. My in-laws sat at the dining table, gazing at Li Fang with blissful smiles.

At first, I had no idea what had happened.

But when I entered, they both smiled at me. My mother-in-law’s eyes curved into crescents as she beckoned me over.

Even I could guess by then.

I hardly dared believe it.

“Mom, is Li Fang pregnant?”

My mother-in-law nodded several times.

I kicked off my shoes and hurried to the table without even putting on slippers.

“You’re really pregnant?” I asked Li Fang.

She nodded.

“Yes. Morning sickness. I’ve thrown up several times this afternoon. Mom is taking me to the hospital for an examination tomorrow.”

There are no words for how happy I was.

I was twenty-eight that year, and I felt I had reached the summit of life.

Six years earlier, I had possessed nothing.

Now I had steady work, a home, parents, a wife, and soon, a child.

My life felt whole. How I wished it could remain that way forever.

Even many years later, when I was rich beyond imagining, that moment remained one of the most precious joys of my life.

But as everyone knows, life rises and falls.

…

Perhaps I had climbed too high.

That was why the fall hurt so much.

Looking back, four great disasters shaped my life.

The first was my imprisonment in 1993.

The second was losing Li Fang.

…

January 2000.

The turn of the century.

The restaurant was packed on New Year’s Day.

Business stayed brisk for more than ten days afterward. I normally finished at nine in the evening, but during that stretch, I worked until two in the morning.

I reached home at three, slept until ten, then rushed back to the restaurant. I had no life of my own.

The work was hard, but it paid well. When the restaurant made money, the owner’s wife gave us monthly bonuses.

Whenever I brought the money home, Li Fang stared in surprise.

“So much?”

I wiped the sweat from my face and searched for clean clothes before bathing.

“Yes. Business has been good these past few months, so the bonuses are bigger.”

“If—if you keep this up for another two years, we could buy a home.”

“It isn’t that simple. Housing prices are rising so fast, changing every day. In a few years, this money might not buy anything. Better to spend some on supplements for you. Pregnancy isn’t easy. You’re eight months along now, aren’t you?”

“Seven months. It will be another dozen days before I reach eight.”

“My head is useless for dates. Have Mom take you to your checkup tomorrow. The restaurant is too busy for me to get away.”

“There’s been a death in the family of a relative out of town. Mom left this morning.”

“What?”

“It’s all right. Go to work and don’t worry. I’ll see how I feel tomorrow. If I can’t manage, I’ll postpone the checkup a few days.”

I remained uneasy.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m fine. Look at my belly—healthy as can be. It’s pointed too, so I think it’s a boy.”

“Why insist on a boy? A daughter would be just as good.”

“Not to your father. He wants a grandson.”

I smiled.

“Dad only says that. If you give him a granddaughter, he’ll smile even more happily than you.”

At that, Li Fang, seated on the bed, suddenly wrapped her arms around my waist from behind.

“This is my first time giving birth. I’m scared.”

I went still, then turned and patted her back gently.

“I’m scared too. If the pain is unbearable, we’ll have a cesarean. I won’t let it hurt you too much.”

She kept her arms around me and spoke in a petulant little voice.

“No. The neighbors say babies born by cesarean aren’t clever. I want our son to be smart. Someday, he’ll study overseas and run a great company.”

“He will. I promise.”

“Husband, why are you so good to me?”

“You’re the good one. You’re the best person I’ve ever met.”

That day became the hardest day of my life.

The lunch crowd was large, and the restaurant kitchen was frantic.

The owner’s wife took a phone call, then rushed into the kitchen shouting for me.

“Xincheng! Xincheng!”

I was still tossing food in a wok.

“What is it?”

She hurried over. “Your father-in-law’s factory called. Your wife had an accident on the way to her checkup and is being resuscitated at the hospital. He says to hurry to the second floor of the municipal hospital.”

I dropped the wok spatula, ripped off my apron, and ran.

I hailed a taxi to the hospital.

But arriving changed nothing.

My father-in-law paced outside the operating room.

I ran to him and asked what had happened.

He shook his head. The hospital had called him too. He knew no more than I did.

The operating-room door opened. I tried to stop a nurse, but she said only, “Don’t block me. The patient is being resuscitated. Every second matters.”

She ran away and returned minutes later with another doctor, both of them rushing into the operating room.

Half an hour later, the nurse emerged again, moving even faster. Soon she came back with yet another physician.

I stamped my feet in panic. My father-in-law clutched his chest. “When my blood vessel burst from high blood pressure, they didn’t summon this many doctors. What is happening in there?”

His words made me even more afraid.

I found a nurse stationed outside. “My wife is in there. Can’t I go in? On television, the husband is always allowed inside when his wife gives birth.”

She told me, “That’s childbirth on television. The doctors in there aren’t delivering a baby. They’re fighting to save a life.”

Half my heart turned cold.

Hadn’t Li Fang said she might skip the checkup? How had she ended up in an operating room? What could possibly have happened in those few hours?

My father-in-law and I waited a long time.

It was almost dark when the door opened and a grave-faced doctor stepped out.

“Are you the patient’s family?”

We both nodded.

“I’m her father.”

“I’m her husband.”

The doctor produced a consent form.

“The mother is seven months pregnant and has a history of dilation and curettage. A fall caused severe hemorrhaging and premature labor. We may not be able to save her. We are doing everything possible to preserve the child. Which of you will sign the consent form?”

I refused. So did my father-in-law. He erupted in fury.

“What do you mean, you may not save her? How did it become this serious?”

The doctor replied, “Her previous abortion appears not to have been performed at a proper hospital. Her uterine wall is very thin. The situation is extremely dangerous.”

My father-in-law’s expression changed.

I turned to him at once.

“Dad, where did you take Li Fang for that abortion?”

He could not answer. His outstretched hand trembled.

“I—I…”

My mind was chaos, but there was no time for that question. I asked the doctor, “If I sign, does it mean you’ll abandon my wife?”

“No. If there is any hope, we will do everything we can to save her.”

I nodded.

“Then please, Doctor. If you have to choose, save the mother. Please. I have some money—take it. I’m begging you.”

I pulled the cash from my pocket and pushed it toward him.

The doctor took it, then returned to the operating room with the consent form.