chapter 2

Dishwashing paid almost nothing, and the work was numbingly dull.

From the moment my shift began until it ended, more than a thousand plates passed in front of me each day. A hose lay beside my hand, releasing only a thin stream of water.

I sat there all day.

Four years earlier, I could never have imagined tolerating such repetitive, monotonous work.

Now, somehow, I was used to it.

Maybe prison had worn down the rough edges of my temper.

After a little more than twenty days, I received my first month’s pay: only four hundred yuan.

At the farmers’ market, I bought two live yellow-feather hens and a box of tea. Thinking that was not enough, I added two jin of nuts and several bags of White Rabbit candy. Then I prepared to visit Li Fang’s family for the second time.

When I reached the foot of their building, I saw a pushcart selling tangerines and bought two jin of those as well. At last, my hands felt properly laden.

As I climbed the stairs, I worried that I might once again disturb her father’s dinner. I decided I would deliver the gifts and leave at once.

Li Fang greeted me at the door with a beaming smile.

“Why did you buy so much?”

I only smiled. “The chickens and tea are for your parents. The White Rabbit candy is for you. You like it.”

“Come in. Give me all that.”

“I’ll carry them. The hens are alive. They might scratch you.”

Li Fang took the things from my right hand and set them one by one on the coffee table. Then she carried the two hens from my left hand into the kitchen.

A moment later, I heard her talking with her mother.

“Oh, two chickens?”

“Yes. Hens.”

“Will they lay eggs?”

“Probably. We’ll keep them for now. If neither has laid by New Year, we’ll make chicken soup.”

“Good. Leave them in the kitchen. The balcony is cold—they’ll freeze to death out there.”

“All right.”

Listening to their conversation, I sensed that her mother was in a fairly good mood this time.

Still, it was only my second visit. I did not dare stay long, afraid her father might shut himself in his room again because of me.

So I said, “Uncle, I’ll be going.”

Li Fang’s father frowned at me as though sizing me up.

“Leaving already?”

I smiled bitterly.

“Ah… well… I bought too many things today, so I came to drop some off. Now that I’ve delivered them, I—I should go.”

I turned, stepped outside, and pulled the door closed behind me.

I had reached the second floor when I heard Li Fang running after me.

“Wait.”

“Oh…”

I stopped and listened as her footsteps drew nearer.

When she reached me, she carried a red plastic bag with several knitting needles poking out. She pulled out a pair of gloves and told me to hold out my hand.

At first I held it palm-up.

“Hold it straight,” she said.

I obeyed.

As she pulled the glove over my hand, she scolded me gently. “It’s freezing, and you wash dishes in cold water. Don’t be silly and wear only rubber gloves. Put wool gloves underneath them, and your hands won’t get cold. I was knitting you a scarf too, but it isn’t finished yet. I’ll bring it to you when it is.”

My eyes reddened at once.

Truly, I would never meet another woman as good as her in my entire life.

Perhaps I had swallowed too much humiliation lately. I lost control of my face. The muscles twisted together, and suddenly I was crying.

Li Fang stood one step above me, half a head taller from there. She pulled me into her arms and soothed me like a child.

“There, there. You’re doing wonderfully. You didn’t see how pleased my mother looked today. Even my father didn’t stop me when I came out. They’re giving you a chance.”

Her words only made the ache worse. I sobbed against her.

“Oh, come on. It’s all right.”

She patted my back as she comforted me.

At that moment, I did not care about anything. I only wanted to have a good cry, so much so that I forgot we were in public.

A neighbor returning with groceries happened upon us. The man even turned sideways to squeeze past, and after climbing above us, he could not resist exclaiming, “Goodness!”

Li Fang grew embarrassed and lowered her voice.

“Xincheng, that’s enough. Stop crying. This is mortifying.”

Once I had cried myself out, I straightened up.

“Then… I’ll come again.”

“All right. Next time, don’t bring so much. Just bring yourself.”

“Mm…”

I went downstairs and out of the alley.

The road home seemed brighter than it had the last time.

And with the gloves on, my hands were not cold at all.