Chapter 1

Chapter 1

When I was seven, Dad got involved with a woman from the city.

After Mom found out, she demanded a divorce.

Both families sat down together to negotiate.

Grandma looked as if she wanted to beat a gong and drum to celebrate. “At least you know your place. All these years and you couldn’t even give us a son. You should’ve gotten out of my family long ago.”

“But you can’t take Beibei with you.”

Dad panicked. “What do we want her for? Xiaofang isn’t going to help raise her.”

Xiaofang was the woman from the city.

Grandma glared at him. “What do you know? How much can it cost to raise a girl? Once she finishes middle school, she can go out to work. When she gets married, we’ll get a bride price too. It’s not like we’d lose money on the deal.”

My aunt lowered her voice and tried to persuade Mom. “It’s best not to take the child. It’ll be easier for you to remarry. You’re not even thirty yet. Are you afraid you won’t find someone good?”

Mom’s face was cold. “Why should the child I gave birth to end up helping them collect a bride price?”

“Can’t I keep that benefit for myself?”

“If you don’t give Beibei to me, I won’t sign the papers. And don’t even think about marrying that woman. Let’s see who can hold out longer.”

Back then, divorces in the countryside were mostly settled through private negotiation.

Children were assumed to belong to the father’s family.

Unless the man was willing to let go, the woman couldn’t take them away.

I was like an object, pulled back and forth between them.

In the end, Dad was in a hurry to become a city man, so he gave in.

I shuffled over to Mom’s side and called softly, “Mom…”

She shot me a vicious glare. “What are you whining for?”

“With a little burden like you dragging me down, I can forget about ever marrying into a decent family again.”

Dad’s condition for giving in was that he would pay no child support in the future, but my uncle and aunt managed to fight for the old house for us.

It was an old house made of yellow mud bricks with a straw roof. Whenever it rained, it leaked everywhere. Half of the west wing had collapsed, and no one had lived there for many years.

Grandma mocked us. “Qingshan and I are being generous, that’s why we’re giving you this house. Look at all the divorced women in the village. Which one of them didn’t leave empty-handed?”

“You ought to be grateful for our great kindness.”

That very night, she packed up Mom’s and my things and threw them out.

It was raining, and the country road was muddy.

The moment the door to the old house was pushed open, a damp, moldy smell rushed out and swallowed us.

A flock of unknown birds burst out, flying so close they brushed past my face. I screamed again and again in fright.

Clutching my uncle’s sleeve, I asked in a small voice, “Uncle, can Mom and I stay at your house?”

The house my uncle and aunt lived in now had been built while Grandpa was still alive.

Back then, Mom had even used her private savings to help pay for it.

It had two floors and four bedrooms in total.

I still remembered when I was very little, Grandpa had held me in his arms, pointed at the room on the east side of the second floor, and said, “Beibei, that room is for you.”

Until Grandpa passed away half a year ago, whenever Mom and I went back, we stayed in that room.

Before my uncle could answer, my aunt hurried to say, “Your eldest cousin was making a fuss a few days ago about wanting to sleep alone, so I let her have the east room.”

“It’s fine. I’ll have her squeeze in with your second cousin for a few days first.”

At the time, I still couldn’t understand the meaning behind adults’ words. I only looked eagerly at Mom, hoping we could escape this terrifying old house, even if it was only for three or five days.

But Mom’s expression had already changed.

A thin sheen of tears gathered in her eyes. She shoved me hard. “Still finding fault with everything? You think I wanted to take along a little burden like you?”

“If you don’t want to stay with me, then get lost and go back to your dad.”

She was strong. My foot slipped, and I stepped right into a pit beneath the eaves.

It was winter, bitterly cold, and water and mud surged over my foot.

My leg was cold.

So was my heart.

I didn’t understand what I had done wrong to be rejected again and again.

Overwhelmed with hurt, I turned and ran.

My uncle and aunt called for me to stop, but Mom snapped, “Leave her alone.”

I looked back.

The wiring in the old house was aging, and only a little light leaking from a neighbor’s side window illuminated the small space by the door.

Shadows loomed all around. Mom stood with her back to my uncle and aunt, her spine held straight, yet trembling faintly as if she couldn’t control it.

All my anger vanished in an instant.

I ran back and hugged her arm, choking on sobs. “Mom, I’ll stay here with you. Please don’t cry.”

Mom smacked the back of my head. “Shut up. Who’s crying?”

“I’m so happy to be rid of that bastard, I don’t even know what to do with myself. Why would I cry?”

My uncle helped fix the wiring a little.

At last, there was light in the dilapidated house.

The dim glow lit the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. In a low voice, he said, “Yufen, you know your sister-in-law’s temper.”

“Stay here for now. Once I go back and talk to her properly, you two can move in with me.”