Chapter 8

After graduation, I joined a private company. Expecting little from love, I threw myself into my career instead and, a few years later, had achieved a modest measure of success.

Today was the fifth anniversary of our graduation. Thinking of my old roommates from 2406, I called them and invited them to my home to catch up.

Apart from Xiaorui, all four were on my guest list.

Luckily, I’d done well enough for myself that they all agreed to come.

To welcome them, I cooked a whole tableful of dishes.

Guo Yingying and Liu Lingling seemed even prettier than before.

Wang Fang had used her connections to stay at the college as a counselor, while Yanan had joined a foreign-owned company.

I raised my glass, complimented them on their achievements, and brought up Xiaorui, who wasn’t there.

With great relish, I recounted how she’d made fools of them one by one that year. Then I asked, “How do you think Xiaorui suddenly got so formidable? Ha ha ha!”

None of them spoke. They only looked at me, their expressions grave.

After a long silence, Wang Fang, our old dorm representative, spoke.

“Lili, what… what are you talking about? Xiaorui has been dead for so long.”

Dead?

Xiaorui was dead? What kind of joke was that?

I lifted my glass toward Wang Fang. “Fangfang, are you still holding a grudge against her? Why would you say she’s dead? Don’t think I don’t know. She got caught cheating because she was helping you, didn’t she?”

Wang Fang looked at me. The hand holding her chopsticks trembled a little.

That only spurred me on. “Xiaorui gave you up. You were both involved. But since the academic affairs director was your relative, neither of your names appeared on the disciplinary notice.”

Wang Fang said nothing.

Wen Yanan suddenly slapped the table. “Lili, what kind of drunken fit is this? Xiaorui has been dead for eight years! She killed herself right in front of you. Have you forgotten that, too?”

I shot to my feet and grabbed her collar. “Xiaorui… Xiaorui killed herself in front of me?”

“Y-yes,” Guo Yingying said. “Didn’t she kill herself right in front of you? That weekend when we… took those nude pictures of her.”

You… you took nude pictures of Xiaorui?

You bitches! What else did you do to her?

I smashed the glass in my hand to the floor. I was about to explode when I suddenly caught sight of Yingying’s face.

The deep scar that ought to have been there, the one left by Lingling’s scissors, was gone.

And that was right—Lingling hadn’t broken up with her tall, rich, handsome boyfriend either. She’d just said they were getting married soon.

And Yanan. Yanan was fine, too.

Hadn’t she said earlier that she’d joined that foreign-owned company after returning from studying in America?

They were all fine. They’d all graduated without incident.

It seemed the only one who hadn’t graduated was Xiaorui.

A distant memory began to stir in my mind.

That night, the girl had shaken me awake. She hadn’t said she’d become Zhen Huan. She’d killed herself with a utility knife, right in front of me.

I’d been terrified. Afterward, I couldn’t sleep, night after night.

Eventually, I even took six months off from school because of it.

But when I returned, the people responsible for Xiaorui’s death were still there, carrying on with their studies as though nothing had happened.

Why hadn’t they been punished?

How could they go unpunished?

Xiaorui had died because of them!

Guilt and fear held me fast. They deserved to suffer terribly for what they’d done!

So I’d woven a story in my mind about Xiaorui taking revenge.

All these years, I’d lived inside those false memories, lying to myself.

I struck my head hard, then pointed at them, choking on my words. “You… you’re all guilty!”

“Enough!” Wen Yanan shouted. “What the hell is wrong with you? Don’t forget who started saying Xiaorui had slept with the academic affairs director!”

Yes. I was still lying to myself.

They weren’t the only guilty ones. I was guilty, too!

I was the one Wen Yanan had led the others in excluding when school began.

I was the one who loved Empresses in the Palace, the one they called Nanny Xi behind my back.

I was the one whose cup they spat in, whose bed they covered in leftover food!

If it hadn’t been for He Xiaorui, they would probably have bullied me right up until graduation.

So… so…

I’d made up the rumor. The rumor that He Xiaorui had slept with the academic affairs director.

I remembered that evening—the evening they’d taken nude pictures of her.

That night, He Xiaorui woke me from my sleep.

What she’d actually said was:

“You started the rumor that I let the academic affairs director sleep with me, didn’t you?”

“I did. I thought that way, they’d only bully you from then on.”

“I see…” Smiling, He Xiaorui cut her throat with the utility knife, right in front of me.

I wiped away my tears, raised my glass, and stood. “He Xiaorui is dead. We’re all guilty. We should all pay with our lives!”

They stared at me in disbelief and tried to get up, only to find that their bodies would no longer move.

I’d put sleeping pills in the wine some time ago. Soon they would be deeply asleep.

I closed the doors and windows, turned on the gas, and waited quietly as it filled every corner of the room.

Then I struck a match.

Xiaorui, I’m sorry.

Xiaorui, we’re all coming to pay for your life with ours.

The End