Chapter 3

Qiao Qiushuang was waiting at the entrance to that hall, too. Her smile was warm as a spring breeze. “I’m so sorry, Sister. I never imagined that over a mere injury to my hand, His Majesty would send you away for my sake. After almost ten years of affection, you must be heartbroken.”

She held her injured hand high, like a triumphant peacock, and whispered in my ear, “You’re lucky that cup of poisoned wine didn’t kill you. It seems you weren’t so important to His Majesty after all. A lowborn palace maid—this is what comes of your delusions.”

At last she admitted it. That day, in front of everyone, she had deliberately fallen down the steps. I hadn’t pushed her. But however I had tried to explain then, Xiao Zhao wouldn’t believe me.

Before all those watching eyes, he had slapped me. His eyes were full of disappointment. “Ah Jie, how did you become like this?”

Perhaps it was from that day that the whole palace changed its tune. Everyone used to say Xiao Zhao treasured me. It turned out that Miss Qiao was the one closest to his heart.

Then came an imperial decree: I was getting older, so Xiao Zhao would give me a thousand taels of silver and let me leave the palace to find a good husband.

Looking at Qiao Qiushuang’s smug face, I laughed, too. “Don’t be impatient, Miss Qiao. Though I’m leaving, I’ve left you a fine gift. Don’t cry when you receive it.”

Her maid immediately stepped forward to strike my face. “Insolence! My lady is a Noble Consort. You should address her as Your Highness.”

Little Qian leaned forward to shield me, but I pushed the hand away myself. “Until the investiture ceremony, she’s only a lowly candidate. By the time it takes place, I won’t be here to see it. So I won’t be calling her Your Highness.”

At the sight of Qiao Qiushuang’s livid face, I finally felt a little better.

I had never been one to deny myself. I wanted Xiao Zhao. Since I had raised him, I would take his first time for myself.

I disliked Qiao Qiushuang, so I gave Qiao Qiulin a chance. They were both daughters of the Qiao family, after all. The Chancellor of the Right wouldn’t care which one won favor. Let the sisters fight it out.

Xiao Zhao wanted to send me to Jiangnan. It was his mother’s home, and there were people there who could look after me.

Unfortunately, life doesn’t always go as one wishes. Halfway there, the seed I had stolen began to sprout.

My monthly bleeding didn’t come, and I began vomiting. I shook off the spies following me, changed course, and went to Tongcheng.

The best physician in the land, the one I trusted most, was there now.

Chen Shi looked as though he had seen a ghost. “Have the palace gates become so lax that a young woman with no martial skills can escape? What is it? Has His Majesty upset you?”

I didn’t answer. I held out my hand. “Take my pulse. If it’s a girl, give me something to protect the pregnancy. If it’s a boy, give me something to end it.”

Shocked, he immediately reached for my wrist. When he had finished, he sighed. “You’re barely over a month along. Even if my old master came back to life, he couldn’t tell whether it was a boy or a girl.”

I smiled. “It isn’t the answer I want. I want you to repeat what I just said to whoever wants to know.”

Xiao Zhao understood me well. A girl would pose no obstacle to the imperial succession. Because of Mother, I would certainly have her and raise her. But a boy would bring endless trouble. As long as I had no intention of returning to the palace, I would never have him.

I was telling Xiao Zhao that, as he wished, I had no intention of going back for the rest of my life.