Chapter 1
On my last night before leaving the palace, I took a seed from Xiao Zhao’s body.
But when he asked me, I denied it.
That was the last time we saw each other. In the cold, immaculate imperial study, he rubbed his temples and asked me:
“Ah Jie, I was drunk last night. I have a vague memory of you coming to see me. Was I mistaken?”
I bent in a respectful bow. “It wasn’t my turn on duty last night. I was in my room packing the whole time. Qiulin looks a little like me. Your Majesty must have mistaken her for me.”
Qiulin was the new tea attendant who would replace me after I left. Her family background was respectable: she was a daughter of the Chancellor of the Right. Though born to a concubine, she stood only a little below her legitimate sister, and above more than half the young ladies in the capital.
The trouble was that her sister, Qiao Qiushuang, was about to be made Noble Consort. She could not bear to see Qiulin live comfortably, so she whispered in their father’s ear and had her sent to wait on the emperor as a spy.
What sort of pleasant posting could it be when everyone knew she was a spy? She spent every day treading carefully. And so, after sleeping with Xiao Zhao last night, I went to find her.
“Do you want to spend your whole life being pushed around by your eldest sister?” I asked. “Or will you get into that bed today and take my place? You’ll be my substitute, but you’ll also be winning yourself a chance.”
The young woman’s lashes trembled a few times. She bowed. “Thank you, Auntie.”
Then, without hesitation, she took off her clothes and lay down over that little stain of blood.
A clever, decisive woman.
Xiao Zhao was still watching me. Even without looking up, I could feel the heat of his gaze. After a long while, he said quietly, “Today is the day Ah Jie leaves the palace. Jiangnan is beautiful. You’ll like it there. I can’t see you off myself, so I’ll have Little Qian accompany you partway.”
I asked one last time, “Does Your Majesty truly want me to leave?”
He said nothing more. I understood. I turned and withdrew, walking toward the palace gates under the brilliant sun.
People stared all along the way. Perhaps because I was finally leaving, no longer the one Auntie before the throne who could come and go freely from the imperial study, they dared to gossip louder.
“Auntie Lizhi is really leaving? Didn’t everyone say His Majesty would keep her for life?”
“The women who stay in the harem for life are the consorts. She’s five years older than His Majesty. How could he keep her? What a pity Lady Qiao kindly found her a marriage, and she was too proud to accept.”
“I heard he’s a general, the same age as her. She’d be his second wife, yes, but the lawful wife of an official of the third rank.”
“Well, she turned down a fine match and kept bringing up those eight years they spent together in the Cold Palace. Look what happened. She only hurt Lady Qiao’s hand by accident, and His Majesty threw her out. Even old affection grows tiresome if you keep drawing on it.”
“Mind your tongues. At least His Majesty gave her a thousand taels of silver. She can live in comfort anywhere. Isn’t that better than our lot?”
…
Little Qian wanted to scold them into silence, but I waved him off. Hearing these things only strengthened my resolve to leave.
Looking miserable, he said, “Sister, must you really go? The capital is a fine place, too. I have a house in the west of the city. You could live there. If you missed His Majesty, I could find a way to get you into the palace. Why go all that long way to Jiangnan?”
I pointed to a palace hall we were passing. “Qian Shengqian, do you remember that place?”
He fell silent at once.
That was where Xiao Zhao and I had depended on each other to survive for eight years.