Chapter 1
The day I returned to the capital, frost had hardened in the bitter cold, and snow was falling thickly.
My carriage jolted along through the drifts.
Seeing that home was not far away, I got out and walked through the snow beneath an umbrella.
As I passed the Rouge Tower, I found myself looking up.
There, alone on its upper floor, stood His Highness the crown prince.
I paused, then smiled and inclined my head.
It was the smile of an old friend, seen again after a long absence.
Gladness, touched with lingering affection.
An instant later, his lips moved.
He was calling me. “Zhang’er.”
I meant to continue on my way, but he beckoned me upstairs.
From that height, we looked out over a city of wind and snow. Everything was white.
Lu Feibai asked whether I remembered this place.
I nodded.
How could I forget?
It was here that I had seen him off when he marched to war.
The Rouge Tower locks away love’s sorrow; my heart, a wild goose at heaven’s edge, follows your distant boat.
I had embroidered those lines on a handkerchief, stitch by stitch.
When I gave it to him, he said it was beyond price. Not even a thousand pieces of gold could buy it.
Later, to prove his devotion to Xue Yifu, he had torn it in two with his own hands.
He even sent word that our token was destroyed and our affection ended.
We stood together for a long time, neither speaking.
At last, he turned. “Have you been well these past few years?”
“Thank you for remembering me, Your Highness. I’ve traveled far these three years. I’ve seen the snows of Cangshan and spring south of the Yangtze.”
Lu Feibai looked thoughtful. “You used to say the world was vast, and you wanted to see its mountains and rivers one day. Now you have.”
“If every woman were as understanding as you, husbands would have far fewer worries.”
I smiled demurely and said nothing.
From my birth, Father had raised me to become crown princess.
He once told me that women were born to a difficult lot. Managing a household and raising children were not enough; a woman must know how to manage her husband too.
She must be able to step back and govern his household as a worthy wife, or step forward and advise him as a strategist.
I understood that dignity and restraint were the first requirements of becoming his wife.
Most of the time, I must be as still and graceful as a delicate flower reflected in water.
I must treat the crown prince as a superior: respectful without fawning, and show shyness and admiration at the right moments.
Everyone had seen the affection between us.
On the day of my coming-of-age ceremony, His Majesty made me crown princess-to-be. We would marry when the prince returned from his campaign.
I shut myself at home and embroidered my wedding gown, stitch by stitch.
Every day, I imagined the moment Lu Feibai lifted my bridal veil.
How tenderly we would love one another. How perfectly we would suit.
After waiting and waiting, I finally saw him ride home in triumph.
His first act on returning was to kneel in Taiji Hall and demand an end to our betrothal.
He told me Xue Yifu came from another time and another world. Unless she was with him, her mission to win his love would fail.
As punishment, she would be obliterated.
I sat stunned for a full hour, let myself weep through a storm of tears, then went to Father’s study to discuss the matter.
Father did love me. He assured me that if I insisted, no one else could take my place as crown princess.
I shook my head. “No, Father. I want to break the betrothal.”
For an instant, I saw disappointment in his eyes.
Surrendering without a fight might let one survive, but it also invited contempt.
What I said next, however, startled him.
I wanted not only to end the engagement, but to leave the capital at once.
“I’ve spent every day with the crown prince. I know his nature and what he will never tolerate. I hear this woman prides herself on being different, talks endlessly of one man and one woman for life, and threatens to have her system return her to the modern world if he breaks that promise.”
“Now that he’s desperately in love, of course he promises everything. But he is the future ruler of this country, destined for palaces full of consorts. Will she still try to bind him with an oath then?”
“By withdrawing, I can gain ground. I’ll give them their happiness and leave him guilty toward me. When they begin to resent one another, it will be time for me to return.”
“Imagine him utterly exhausted, then unexpectedly meeting his childhood sweetheart, her face fairer than snow, radiant as spring. Which woman will be the bloodstain of a crushed mosquito, and which the moonlight he has always longed for?”
Father looked at me as though I were a stranger. A moment later, that look became pride.
“My daughter indeed. Composure, and a gift for strategy. We’ll do as you say.”
It was an enormous gamble.
My entire life was the stake.
But to reach the summit, these acts of submission were necessary.
That day, barefaced and without my hairpins, I knelt beside him in Taiji Hall and begged His Majesty to revoke his decree.
I described myself as unworthy and praised the crown prince to the skies.
At last, His Majesty consented. The betrothal was broken.