Chapter 2

Perhaps Qin Zhao noticed my unhappiness, because he came to see me several days in a row.

Each time, he brought either pastries or some exquisite little trinket.

With a mysterious smile, he said they were gifts from a noble lady and that he had saved them especially for me.

I held the walnut pastry he offered me, bitterness welling in my chest.

Once, I would naturally have been delighted. Now I only found it absurd.

I thought long and hard. Even if I confronted Qin Zhao, he might not be willing to bring me into his harem. Besides, with Consort Rong there, life would surely be miserable.

The more I considered it, the better it seemed simply to leave the palace. He cared about Consort Rong’s feelings, so surely he would not pursue me beyond the palace walls.

But I had forgotten that he was the sovereign and I was his subject.

If he did not want me to leave, how could I possibly go?

The list of maids being released from service hit me like a bolt from the blue.

My name was not on it.

Matron Zheng patted my shoulder reassuringly. “Don’t worry, Ah Li. The palace is short-handed at the moment. Perhaps your name will be there next year.”

Cold swept through me.

Only a month ago, she had solemnly promised that she would make sure I left the palace to marry.

Almost at once, I thought of Qin Zhao.

No wonder he never mentioned my release. No wonder he always smiled without answering whenever I dreamed aloud about life outside the palace.

No wonder he was in no hurry to marry me.

He had never intended to let me leave at all.

When Qin Zhao came that evening, I shoved him out and shut myself in my room.

He coaxed me patiently from outside.

“Ah Li, I know you’re upset, but you can’t take your anger out on me. I’m only a lowly guard. There are some things I can help you with, but I have no influence over the Imperial Household Department. Please stop crying and open the door, all right?”

On the other side of the door, I slid to the floor as tears ran silently down my face.

I wanted to expose him, to shout the truth at him, but when the words reached my lips, nothing came out.

I ignored Qin Zhao for the next several days.

He assumed I was angry because he had failed to secure my release. After coaxing me for a few days, he tired of it and stopped trying.

Life became much quieter.

Even Dongju came to ask me, cautiously,

“Did you and your sweetheart have a fight?”

I said nothing.

Dongju sighed.

“Everything’s going wrong at once. I hear His Majesty has been in a foul mood lately. He even visits Consort Rong less often. Everyone in the palace is walking on eggshells, afraid of provoking his anger.”

I lifted my eyes, then lowered them again.

Whatever happened to him had nothing to do with me.

That night, it grew very late and Dongju still had not returned.

Uneasy, I went out to look for her.

I finally found her outside Weiyang Palace.

She had offended a noble lady and been ordered to kneel. By the time I arrived, she could no longer stand.

I had to support her all the way back.

Only when we reached our room did she explain through her tears.

“It was Consort Rong. She suddenly came out just as I was going in. I swerved to avoid her and bumped into the door, and she got angry and punished me…” Dongju sobbed.

I sighed and applied medicine to her injuries.

A palace maid’s life was cheap. Beatings and scoldings were commonplace, and the woman who had punished her was Consort Rong, the emperor’s favorite in all the harem. Nothing we said would matter.

Dongju fell ill, so her duties were divided among the rest of us.

I took on some of them as well.

No one, however, was willing to deliver clothes to Consort Rong.

Everyone passed the duty along until it eventually fell to me.

Before I left, Dongju repeatedly warned me to watch my words and actions and avoid Consort Rong if at all possible.

Naturally, the very thing we feared happened.

I had barely carried the tray inside when Consort Rong shrieked from the inner chamber.

“How dare you ruin my dress! His Majesty gave me this Floating Light Brocade!”

With a crash, a lacquered tray and the pink palace dress landed at my feet. A long scratch marred one corner of the skirt.

Trembling, I dropped to my knees.

I had inspected the garment carefully before coming. There had not been the slightest damage. Floating Light Brocade was delicate, and the mark was stained red with balsam dye. It had clearly been made by a fingernail.

She must have torn it by accident and decided to blame me.

As the thought crossed my mind, a man’s low chuckle came from behind the beaded curtain.

“If a palace servant is incompetent, simply drag her out and have her beaten. Don’t make yourself ill with anger.”

My whole body jolted.

That voice belonged to Qin Zhao.

So he was here too.

Only then did Consort Rong calm somewhat. She pouted.

“What is wrong with the Laundry Bureau? Yesterday one of them nearly ran into me, and today another ruins my dress. What sort of people do they employ?”

One of her maids hurried to flatter her. “Your Ladyship, the girl who came today is called Ah Li. She rarely serves the palace ladies. I imagine she’s simply stupid.”

Behind the beaded curtain, the man’s silhouette went rigid.

Consort Rong curled her lip. “They send me nothing but useless wretches. Your Majesty, how many strokes do you think she deserves?”

I clenched my fists, my chest tight.

What would he say?

He knew it was me now.

The man remained silent for a long time, until Consort Rong glanced over suspiciously. “Why? Do you know her, Your Majesty?”

Only then did he turn his eyes away. His lowered voice sounded faintly hoarse.

“Whatever my beloved consort decides.”

It was as if my heart had been plunged into ice. The cold spread through every limb until it consumed me.

My body went limp, and I nearly collapsed.

I closed my eyes.

I should never have expected anything from him…

After the beating, I could barely straighten my back. I dragged myself before Consort Rong to thank her for the punishment.

Qin Zhao was already gone. Consort Rong toyed with a string of beads, displeasure faintly visible on her face.

On my way in, I had heard the servants whispering that His Majesty had left not long after I was dragged away, claiming that affairs of state required his attention. Consort Rong was unhappy about it.

I apologized in a hoarse voice.

She waved a hand, apparently unwilling to spare me another thought.

I drew a deep breath and was about to turn away when Consort Rong happened to glance at me. Her eyes widened, and she shot to her feet.

“Stop!”