Chapter 1
My heart sank.
He seemed to realize something and let out a couple of awkward chuckles.
“Who said that? I’ve never seen Consort Rong. Do you really look that much like her?”
I murmured an acknowledgment but said nothing else.
Whenever he lied, he laughed awkwardly and glanced sideways at people.
He was plainly lying to me.
The floating comments kept clamoring:
【I’m dying. The supporting girl actually dared to ask? Where does she get the nerve to compare herself to the female lead?】
【She’s already lucky she managed to hook the emperor, yet she’s still dreaming of things she can never have. And the male lead, honestly! The female lead accepted him nearly six months ago, and they’ve been all lovey-dovey ever since, but he’s still tangled up with this supporting character. If the female lead finds out, he’ll be in for it.】
【Don’t worry, everyone. The female lead just isn’t ready to take that final step yet, so the male lead has to use the supporting girl to blow off steam. Once our girl truly lets down her guard, he’ll definitely throw this one out.】
“Ah Li?”
A hand waved before my face. Qin Zhao’s face filled my vision, faintly worried.
“Are you feeling unwell?”
I leaned away from his hand and steadied my voice. “I’m fine.”
He exhaled in relief. “Good. I’m on duty today, so I’d better go. I’ll come see you again in a couple of days.”
I nodded distractedly.
【On duty? What duty? He’s obviously in a hurry to see our female lead, haha.】
【I feel bad for the male lead, running between two women every day. He could simply put the supporting girl in his harem, but he’s so afraid the female lead will find out and get jealous that he has to sneak around. I ship them so hard.】
The words still drifted before my eyes.
I bit down on my lower lip, my body trembling despite myself.
If those comments were true, then what did that make me?
A substitute?
He was the mighty emperor. Why would he go to such lengths to deceive a mere palace maid?
On the table lay the wooden hairpin I had carved for him with my own hands. In the vase stood the sprig of crabapple blossoms he had just picked.
How could a man like that be the emperor?
I spent the next two days in a daze. If Dongju, the maid who shared my room, had not looked after me, I would probably have been punished several times over.
By the third day I had finally pulled myself together enough to accompany her in delivering clothes to one of the palace ladies.
That was when I saw Qin Zhao again.
Or rather, His Majesty.
An entourage blocked our path beside the stream in the imperial garden.
We asked what was happening and learned that His Majesty was catching butterflies with Consort Rong.
The eunuch at the head of the group advised us to go around.
Dongju agreed cheerfully and tugged me away.
We had taken only a few steps when some strange impulse made me circle back.
Unable to stop me, Dongju could only lead me quietly closer.
In all my years at the palace, I had crossed paths with the emperor several times, always with my head lowered and my back bowed.
This was the first time I had ever raised my eyes to look at him.
It truly was Qin Zhao.
He stood with his hands clasped behind his back, dressed in imperial yellow. A smile seemed to linger in his eyes, yet every movement carried effortless authority.
He was smiling at the woman chasing butterflies through the garden. Now and then, he tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear or wiped the fine sweat from her brow. They looked deeply in love.
I clenched my fists and watched in silence.
“Everyone says His Majesty adores Consort Rong, and it really is true. I heard he stole her away from another man. She wanted nothing to do with him at first and only recently accepted him. His Majesty treats her wonderfully. He sends every precious thing to her palace. Look at the golden phoenix hairpin she’s wearing—that tribute only arrived from the north a few days ago.”
So that was it. He gave Consort Rong one, then slipped another to me in private.
And he had even carved mine by hand. How very thoughtful of him.
That evening, Qin Zhao came to sit with me while I ate, as usual.
Palace maids ate later than everyone else, generally only after their masters had finished.
Whenever Qin Zhao came, he merely watched me eat. He never touched the food himself, and if he occasionally brought something, he gave all of it to me.
I had assumed he ate with his master. Only today did I learn that he was the master.
My silence seemed to surprise him.
“What’s wrong? Are you still angry because I wouldn’t agree to marry you?”
He sighed and took my hand.
“It isn’t that I don’t want to marry you, Ah Li. I have my reasons. Will you wait for me?”
After a moment of silence, I asked softly,
“Is there another woman besides me?”
He paused, then laughed.
“What are you imagining? Of course there isn’t.”
He patted my head and coaxed me as he always did.
“The Empress Dowager thinks highly of me now. I only want to make something of myself so I can marry you properly and with honor.”
The claim that he served as a guard at Ci’en Palace was merely a cover story he had invented so he could be with me.
And I had believed it until now.
After a long while, I nodded and said all right.