Chapter 1

A thousand years ago, Yuanzhen nearly killed me.

That year, in a fine drizzle scented with apricot blossoms, I heard about a white snake who had fallen in love with a human. The tale stirred something faint inside me.

I had never tasted human flesh. Mostly because I could not swallow a whole person in one go.

All I knew about humans was that they were clever to a dangerous degree and best avoided.

There was a white snake who lived beside me. When he heard the story of a snake and a human in love, he decided he, too, must find a human to love. He took the form of a man and asked, “Am I handsome?”

I flicked my tongue at him in disdain. “What good is handsome? Can you eat it?”

The white snake left.

I alone remained in the ancient tree.

I did not know how much time had passed when he returned, covered in wounds and clinging to his last breath.

I could not save him. All I could do was ask what had happened.

“She found out I was a snake,” he said. “She joined forces with a monk, drugged me, and tried to kill me.”

I stared. “I’ll kill her and avenge you.”

He fell silent. I did not know what he was thinking. At length, he said softly, “She’s timid. Of course she was frightened. Don’t go after her. Her life will be hard enough from now on.”

I did not understand why he would not let me kill her, but since that was what he wanted, it saved me the trouble.

Before he died, the white snake returned to his true form. “I have a name now,” he told me. “She gave it to me. Bai Qianjun.”

“Isn’t it beautiful?” he asked with his final breath.

The white snake who had kept me company for a thousand years died.

I looked at him, unable to name what I felt.

I did not understand.

They were both sick in the head.

I took human form. Not because I meant to eat anyone, but because I wanted to know why they had both been willing to give everything for a single person.

I went to the capital.

A fine spring rain filled the air with mist. I wandered down the road beneath an umbrella, unsure where I was going.

“May I ask where you are headed, my lady? Might this humble monk accompany you?” A man’s voice sounded behind me. I turned and saw a bald man in white robes walking out of the mist.

In that instant, I finally understood what handsome meant.

What a handsome man. Even without hair, he was handsome.

I liked him at once and agreed without thinking. “All right.”

“Where is your home, my lady?”

“You want to come home with me? It’s rather far.”

“A woman walking alone—aren’t you afraid of running into a monster?”

He asked too many questions. I was growing impatient. “You’re walking alone too. Aren’t you afraid?”

The man smiled. “This humble monk has been rude. Please forgive me.”

“I have only one last question.”

“Why do monsters always pretend to be human?”

I considered it. “Longing, I suppose. Once a monster gains awareness, eating and sleeping aren’t enough anymore. We begin wanting other things. Another life. The human world. All the joys and sorrows we don’t possess.”

The monk gazed at me. “That is precisely why monsters should cultivate themselves. There is nothing good about being human. Better to sever all worldly desires and seek immortality.”

“Then go cultivate. No one’s stopping you. Meddling in other people’s affairs will only burden you with bad karma.” He looked so foolish that I could not help saying it.

He paused, then curved his lips in a soft laugh. “This humble monk is Yuanzhen. May I ask my lady’s name?”

I thought about it.

What was my name?

The white snake had taken Bai, meaning white. I was a black snake, but surely I could not call myself Hei—Black.

I thought and thought without finding an answer. At last, I fled in a hurry. “I’ll tell you next time.”

I was far from home, so I slipped into a random patch of woods.

Returning to my true form, I lay along a branch and pondered names.

I thought and thought until a fox appeared below the tree.

“Hey, have you seen someone pass this way?” He had no manners at all. I flicked my tongue and stared down at him darkly.

“A woman,” he added. “Young and very beautiful.”

I ignored him.

“If you see her, there’s a fox den to the west. Please come tell me. She’s the woman I’m to marry. We promised to run away together at the first watch tonight.”

He was frantic. As soon as he finished speaking, he ran off.

A little fox spirit with hardly any cultivation and even fewer manners.

That was what I thought, yet when a young woman in emerald robes stumbled into view, I narrowed my eyes and studied her.

Young. Beautiful.

I had recently decided to study humans, so I could not help looking a little longer.

Her eyes could shed tears.

Mine could not.

“Ah Yuan!” What a fool. One should never make so much noise in the woods; it drew tigers and leopards. But she did not know that and kept calling.

She began to cry again.

Her tears sparkled.

Just as brightly as water on my scales.

I went to find the fox. If I did not, the woman would go on shouting, and she was unbearably loud.

When I reached the fox den in the west, I found the monk from earlier. He was holding the bloody red fox by the scruff. The sight made me a little hungry.

“Have you thought of a name, miss?” Blood stained Yuanzhen’s robes. A beguiling smile slowly spread across his handsome face.

I shook my head. “There’s a woman looking for him. Why did you kill him?”

“He was a monster who meant to harm a human. It was only right that I destroy him.” He called himself a monk, yet something demonic flashed through his eyes. He looked cold and sinister, but his words sounded so righteous.

Humans were remarkable. They could think one thing, say another, and do something else entirely.

I tilted my head. “What will you do with him?”

“He’s dead. I’ll take him back and perform rites for his soul.”

I stepped closer. I liked the chill darkness clinging to him. I caught his arm and tried to coil around him, only to remember that I had no tail in this form. I had to press against him with my hands and body instead. “Give him to me to eat. Please? I’m very hungry.”

“Aren’t you afraid I’ll kill you?” Yuanzhen did not push me away. He let me hook a leg around him, stroke him, and rub myself against his body.

Humans had so many limbs, yet none was as useful as a tail.

If I returned to my true form and looped my tail lightly around him, he would not be able to move. Then he would have no choice but to hand over the food like a good boy.

“I’m not afraid.” He was the first human I had met, and the first person ever to tell me his name. “Will you give me a name, Yuanzhen? Please?”

He laughed.

“A monster will always be a monster.” He shoved me away without losing his cold smile. His eyes were full of contempt. “You are new to the mortal world, so I will spare you today. Return to your mountain and cultivate. If I see you again, I will show no mercy.”

I did not understand why he said that.

But when he treated me that way, something inside me hurt.

That astonished me.

“Being near you makes me hurt. I’ve never felt this before. It’s strange. Perhaps I will fall in love with you, Yuanzhen. You’re only a mortal with a little power. I could have killed you just now, but I didn’t.”

I walked toward him and laid one hand on his chest. With the other, I took his hand and pressed it to mine.

He tried to wrench free, but I was stronger. I forced his palm against my breast.

“Your heart beats. Mine does not.” I felt his heartbeat beneath my hand and looked into his eyes. “I can take human form because Heaven granted me the gift, but I’m still not human. To become human, one must have feelings. To have feelings, one must have a heart. He had feelings, so he had a heart. The woman he loved is calling for him. That made him human.”

My voice softened. “Yuanzhen, you killed a man.”

“Turn back.” I ignored the shadow in his eyes and sighed. “When I find a name, I’ll come see you again.”