Chapter 3

Si Min had some luck on her side. Just as she was nearing the end of her endurance, the matron grew tired of her slow work and reassigned her to sweeping the courtyard, leaving Liu Chunhua to water the flowers.

Si Min breathed an enormous sigh of relief.

Liu Chunhua was furious. She thought Si Min had deliberately landed her with the job.

One day, while I was sweeping my section, I heard an argument behind the bushes.

“Hey! When you were watering the flowers, I fetched water for you. Now it’s my turn, why aren’t you fetching water for me?”

I peered around. It was Liu Chunhua and Si Min.

Or rather, Liu Chunhua was doing all the arguing.

Si Min was always gentle and generous, never fighting for anything. Rather than argue, she said softly, “I’m sorry. I’ll help right away…”

She filled a bucket and came staggering back. Suddenly, her foot caught on something. She fell, spilling the water.

“Oh…”

She hugged her knees and began to cry. As she wiped her tears, she spotted me nearby and called plaintively, “Si Lan…”

Her eyes said it plainly: Come and help me.

I rolled my eyes and turned away.

She stared at me in disbelief, her eyes growing redder. Hugging her knees, she sobbed softly, looking like a fragile flower crushed underfoot, the most pitiful creature alive.

My heart might as well have been stone. I went on sweeping.

“Why are you crying here all alone, miss?”

A male servant happened past and asked casually.

Through her tears, Si Min gazed at him as if a divine savior had descended from the heavens.

She was beautiful, and she made the most of her helplessness. His heart softened. He hurriedly asked what was wrong, then said, “Fetching water? That’s no work for a young lady. Leave it to a man!”

He took the bucket away and filled it for her.

When he learned she had been helping someone else, he was even more moved. “You’re so kind.”

Si Min lowered her head without a word.

He carried the water to the flower bed for her.

Liu Chunhua was plain and dark-skinned. She stirred none of his protective tenderness. Impatiently, he told her, “How dare you bully another maid? Do your own work! The matron here is my aunt. One word from me, and you’ll be sorry!”

A servant’s rank was marked by the color of their sash.

His was green, one rank above our blue-green sashes.

Liu Chunhua was terrified. “But… I fetched water for her before!”

Si Min bit her lip. “I gave you half a bun,” she said softly.

That made him angrier still. “Greedy little bitch! Always taking advantage!”

Liu Chunhua dared not say another word.

I watched the whole thing from nearby and sneered. So much for never arguing or fighting. Apparently Si Min could defend herself after all.

Then why hadn’t she spoken a few words for me when I was falsely accused and killed in my last life?

Did she really have to feel the blows herself before she understood they hurt?

Someone like that was best kept at a distance.

I quietly left.

The servant’s name was Yang Sheng. After that, he helped Si Min in all sorts of ways.

With him looking out for her, her life grew much easier.

But only a little. His influence was limited. He couldn’t take care of everything.

He could ask the matron to give her lighter work, but he could do nothing about her daily living arrangements.

Si Min still ate coarse grain and got no vegetables.

“Si Lan…”

At mealtime, while I was gobbling down my food, she stood behind me calling my name over and over, like someone trying to summon a ghost.

I couldn’t take it anymore and turned. “What?”

She seemed to have something to say but looked too embarrassed to begin.

I had nothing to say to that.

Serene as a chrysanthemum, above all competition, Si Min disliked asking favors. People were supposed to rush over, eager to serve her. I had once been happy to oblige.

Now I couldn’t be bothered.

She could say it or keep quiet. She was no longer the favored daughter of a marquis, much less my benefactor. We were both lowly maids. Why should I indulge her?

I turned back to my food.

“Si Lan…”

Again that ghost-summoning wail, even more plaintive this time.

I turned. “Just say what you want!”

Her lips parted. “Could… could you get me some vegetables?”

I stared at her.

So did everyone else.

We were all low-ranking maids. How could she have the nerve to make me serve her?

“Haven’t you got hands?” I said. “Get them yourself!”

“I… I can’t squeeze in…”

I sneered. “You were quick enough to snatch my bun when you wanted to buy someone’s gratitude. I’m sure you’ll manage.”

Her mouth trembled with grievance.

“Oh, still a pampered young lady, are you? Need someone to fetch your vegetables? Should Si Lan eat your meal for you too?”

Liu Chunhua snorted, her voice dripping sarcasm.

After Yang Sheng had scolded her, she had seen through Si Min’s false kindness and thoroughly disliked her.

No one else spoke up for Si Min either.

Her eyes reddened. She lowered her head, looking ashamed and embarrassed.

In my last life, she had earned a reputation for kindness by frequently sharing food. That reputation had helped her become the heir’s concubine.

Without my sacrifices this time, she barely had enough for herself. She certainly had nothing to spare for others.

Liu Chunhua no longer worshipped her or went about praising her saintly compassion. Naturally, our masters would have no reason to think well of her.

Si Min trembled and bit her lip. In the end, she stayed. As if steeling herself, she pushed into the crowd and reached out with her chopsticks.

She cried as she ate.

No one understood what she was crying about.

I did.

She was mourning the heavenly maiden forced into the dust, reduced to scrabbling for food with common maids. There went her dignity and her airs!

That evening, I fetched water to wash before bed and heard voices nearby.

Si Min was sobbing softly. “I’ve already surrendered all my pride and self-respect. I never fight with anyone, yet nothing goes as I hope. People dislike me… But never mind. Our family has fallen, after all.”

Yang Sheng was heartbroken. “You were a marquis’s daughter! How cruel that you’ve come to this. Those worthless little maids have no judgment. They flatter anyone above them and trample anyone below. Don’t lower yourself to their level…”

“It’s all right,” she said serenely. “My body may be in the mud, but my heart remains clear. Now that I’m here, I must make peace with it.”

Yang Sheng was awestruck. “To remain so calm after falling so far… I truly admire you. Here are my savings. It’s only three taels of silver, but if you don’t mind the small sum, buy yourself something nice to eat.”

“How could I accept that?”

“Take it. All I ask is that you remember me.”

They went back and forth a while. At last, Si Min said tenderly, “I’ll always remember what a good man you are…”

My mouth twitched.

If competing with servants for vegetables meant surrendering all pride and self-respect, what did that make me, another former daughter of the marquis? What did it make our sisters sold into brothels?

And for all her talk of serenity, her hands were certainly busy. She took his money readily enough. What was so detached about that?

Besides, a good man… Wasn’t that what she said when she wanted to brush a man off?