Chapter 2

Last time, when Si Min had taken my bun and given it to the maid, I had swallowed my anger for her sake.

Now that my memories had returned, I shoved her aside, rushed at the maid stuffing her face, and snatched back the half she had left. I ate it, taking fierce, determined bites.

Si Min stumbled, caught her balance, and snapped, “Si Lan! What are you doing?”

I finished the bun without a word, then smiled. “Sister, from today on, you can fight for your own vegetables in the kitchen.”

Servants ate at fixed times. Each received one bowl of coarse grain, while the vegetables were heaped in several large tubs. Come late, and there was nothing left. You had to get there early and fight for a share.

My sister disliked watching servants crowd together and scramble for food, so I always fetched her vegetables.

If she was still hungry, I gave her some of my grain too.

To reassure her, I would say, “Go on, Sister. I’m already full.”

Then she would eat my food without a qualm.

It never occurred to her that her own portion wasn’t enough for her. If I gave her some of mine as well, how could I possibly not be hungry?

Looking back, I had been an absolute idiot!

Well, I was done indulging her!

I wanted to see whether she could still be serene as a chrysanthemum, above all competition, when she went hungry every day.

Whether she would still generously hand other maids the bun I had practically wrested from a dog’s mouth, just to hear them praise her kindness.

I had barely finished eating when the head matron approached. Seeing us gathered together, she roared, “Slacking off again?”

We scattered at once.

The other maid and I resumed sweeping the courtyard. Si Min’s job was fetching water and watering the flowers.

It was hard physical work. Soon she was panting with exhaustion.

But she was proud and would never ask anyone to help. I had always gone over on my own when I saw her struggling.

Today, after finishing the courtyard, I saw that the matron was gone and slipped into a nearby pavilion to rest.

The maid who had eaten half my bun was Liu Chunhua. She couldn’t stand seeing me so comfortable. “Can’t you see how tired Si Min is? You’re her own sister. Why aren’t you helping?”

I gave a cold laugh and glanced up. “Bothers you, does it? Go help her yourself.”

Liu Chunhua stamped her foot. When she realized she couldn’t order me about, she marched over to Si Min in a huff. “I’ll fetch the water for you. To thank you for that half bun.”

“Thank you,” Si Min said softly.

She made no attempt to refuse.

Together, they finished Si Min’s watering.

Before they were done, I had already rushed to the kitchen and lined up ahead of the others to get my food.

Si Min and I hadn’t been here long. We were the lowest kind of maid. Even our masters’ leftovers never reached us. We had the worst of everything, from food to clothing. If we fell sick, we couldn’t afford a doctor. Whether we lived or died was a matter of luck.

The food in my bowl was a mixture of unpolished rice, bran, and root vegetables. It was difficult to swallow, but at least it filled the stomach.

Several filthy wooden tubs stood on a table beside us, piled with a jumble of vegetables.

People crowded around them, shoving one another, snatching food as they ate.

By the time Si Min and Liu Chunhua arrived, there was no room left.

I pretended not to see them and kept eating.

Whenever I looked up, I caught Si Min frowning at the scrambling crowd with an expression of utter disgust.

We had been servants for a month, and she still hadn’t adjusted.

Liu Chunhua plunged into the crowd too, leaving Si Min on the edge, holding her bowl and chewing slowly.

Without me making room for her or grabbing vegetables, all she could do was eat her coarse grain dry.

When the meal ended, I rubbed my stomach. For the first time, I understood how satisfying it was to have eaten enough.

I glanced at Si Min. She was pale, as though she could hardly bear it but had no choice.

The matron came to send us back to work.

Si Min looked as if she wanted to speak when she saw me. I ignored her and left with the others.

I didn’t need to ask. She would sigh in front of me, hinting at how heavy her workload was so I would help.

I wasn’t going to be her fool anymore!

Liu Chunhua had helped all morning and refused to do more that afternoon.

Si Min struggled through her work alone, finishing very late.

When she reached the kitchen, there was nothing left to eat.

She returned to the servants’ sleeping quarters hungry.

More than a dozen maids shared one long sleeping platform.

I had originally fought for a place by the wall for Si Min, then slept beside her to shield her from the others.

Today, before she returned, I had traded places with someone and moved to the other side. Whatever happened from now on was no concern of mine.

I was half asleep when a startled cry woke me. “Your leg! Move it!”

Everyone woke. It turned out the maid who had traded places with me had accidentally thrown a leg over Si Min in her sleep.

With me shielding her before, Si Min had slept in perfect comfort. Now that I was gone, other people’s arms and legs naturally strayed her way.

The others were impatient. “What’s the fuss? It’s nothing!”

Under their reproaches, Si Min’s eyes reddened. She murmured an apology, unwilling to argue, and lay down again.

When the maid crowded her, she shifted as close to the wall as possible and endured it, living by her creed of never competing or fighting.

Well, if she could keep that up, I’d respect her for practicing what she preached. That would take some backbone.

I wondered how long her resolve would last.

Whenever she tried to speak to me during the day, I left before she could start.

Servants had endless rules and work, out early and back late. She couldn’t get a word in, and her dignity certainly wouldn’t allow her to grab me and force me to stay.

She had never done menial work before and was slow at everything. At mealtimes, she refused to compete, so every day she ate nothing but coarse grain, without a single bite of vegetables.

After a few days, her complexion looked almost as green as the food she couldn’t get.