Chapter 3

Cui Jiu had scarcely left when my two brothers charged into the courtyard. Hearing he was gone, they stamped their feet in dismay. What an honor that he should visit our humble home, they said, and what a pity they had missed the chance to entertain him. They blamed me at considerable length.

I sighed.

I had been a fool, shamelessly fawning over him. But who around me had known any better? I thought myself beneath him, regarded him as impossibly lofty. Surely that had something to do with all the people around me who thought the same. What sensible father or brother would watch a daughter lead another man’s horse and grind his ink without stopping her, as if it were perfectly normal?

Remembering the way those two had died in my dream left me weary to the marrow.

When I remained unmoved and refused to agree with them, my eldest brother grew angry. “You ignorant girl! What has Aunt’s wish to win over the Pei family to do with you? Yet you rush to marry a Turkic horse slave without rank or achievement! Better to be Ninth Young Master Cui’s concubine than that man’s wife. To lower yourself like this—what folly!”

I nearly laughed in his face. “You actually dare look down on the Duke of Cheng’s family? The duke rose with the founding emperor and helped win the realm on horseback. His descendants have guarded our borders and earned illustrious military honors. Seventh Young Master Pei’s mother is a Turkic princess, and he himself is a warrior without equal in the army. His prospects are limitless. How is choosing him lowering myself?”

My second brother flung his sleeve aside. “Bah! A worthless, fickle little slut! One day you’re grinding ink for Cui Jiu, and the next you’re swearing to marry someone else. Just wait. They say that Pei Qi is a burly, bearded brute, strong as a bear. If you fail to serve him properly and he breaks your legs, don’t come crawling home in tears!”

I thought of my sister-in-law, whose face was perpetually bruised, and snorted. “A man who can outfight an army may prove himself on the battlefield. Why would he need to bully women and children? It’s the useless ones who cannot earn an ounce of respect outside the house who come home to beat their wives and children. Like hermit crabs cowering in their holes, they’re only fierce on their own doorstep.”

Furious, my second brother clenched his fists. “Say that again!”

I turned and went inside. Thinking I had lost my nerve, he swaggered up to my bedroom door, demanding an apology.

Inside, I drew the sword that hung on the wall to ward off evil, the blade sliding free with a ringing scrape. With the point aimed forward, I charged straight out.

My second brother turned white. Retreating and dodging, he shouted, “Have you gone mad? Drawing a weapon on your own brother!”

My eldest brother looked equally displeased. “Sanniang, stop! Do you have no respect for your father, brothers, and elders?”

“You spend your days cockfighting and racing horses, without virtue or talent,” I said coldly. “You enjoy Aunt’s protection yet never think to repay her. You cringe before the old aristocratic clans and behave arrogantly toward families of military merit. You abuse your pitiful little scraps of power, prey on men and women, and commit every evil imaginable. Sooner or later, you will ruin the Xia family. Better I cut you down today than let you drag everyone else down with you!”

My second brother spat. “The two of us carry on the Xia family line. You are a daughter about to marry out. What right have you to pass judgment on our house?”

I gave a cold laugh. “Every bit of this family’s wealth and standing comes from daughters who married out. Aunt, me, our sisters—it is our marriages that let you sit back and enjoy the rewards. Without us, you would have squandered the lot long ago. Then what family line would there be to carry on? What house?”

The commotion finally reached Father.

He came into my courtyard and saw me facing my brothers with a sword. Startled, he asked, “Sanniang, what has brought this on?”

I lowered the sword, my eyes reddening. “Father, they insulted me. And they called my future husband a Turkic horse slave!”

Father was muddleheaded and had always pretended to obey my aunt while defying her behind her back. Still, he was older and understood rather more than these two idiots. As usual, he blamed both sides equally, drove them away, and turned to scold me. His familiar solution to everything: muddy the waters until no one could see a thing.

I went back to my room, sat numbly on the couch, and recalled the dream.

My aunt had killed me. Did I hate her?

Fear was closer to the truth.

A woman who had become empress had never lacked the will to strike. Once her own family disappointed her beyond endurance, the thunderbolt would fall.

I had no desire for revenge. I thought it wiser to cling to her protection and win another chance of survival, for myself and for the Xia family, in this storm-tossed Chang’an where even the grandest houses could fall in a blink.

I knew my aunt had people in this courtyard. I only hoped my little performance would reach her ears.