Chapter 10
Startled, I snatched my hand away, scrambled to my knees, and knocked my forehead against the imperial bed. “I have behaved improperly in Your Majesties’ presence. Please punish me!”
Before my aunt could speak, the emperor reassured me. “What offense have you committed? You are merely overcome by grief. Summon the imperial physician to examine her!”
I raised my head. “I am quite well…”
“Then let him confirm that you are well.”
He was gentle but firm, leaving no room for refusal. I nodded, though the bright yellow bedding beneath me made me feel as if I were sitting on needles.
I looked around. Apart from the emperor and my aunt, only a few eunuchs and palace maids were on duty. No one from the duke’s household was there.
Noticing my uncertainty, His Majesty said, “Rest and recover, Sanniang. The others were exhausted with grief too, and have already gone home.”
I nodded.
The physician examined my pulse and said there was nothing seriously wrong beyond excessive worry.
My aunt sighed. “Life and death are ordained. Try to accept it.”
I shook my head. “I believe Pei Yao is still alive.”
She raised a brow. “Oh?”
I lowered my head. “While I was unconscious, my soul seemed to leave my body and reach Qilang. I saw him lying unconscious in a cave.”
The emperor’s face filled with pity. “You had a nightmare. Qilang was lost at sea. How could he be in a cave? Dreams mean the opposite of what they show. Rest well and stop tormenting yourself.”
But I persisted. “It was a cave by the sea. There was a fire inside, with fish over it.”
The emperor and empress exchanged looks, unable to tell whether I was inventing this or speaking the truth.
I bowed my head against the bed again. “I beg Your Majesty to let me go to the Goguryeo front and search for Qilang. If he lives, I must see him; if he is dead, I must find his body. The dream is vivid in my mind. I believe that once I reach the place, I will be able to find him!”
My aunt gave me a sharp look. “Nonsense. Goguryeo is far away and the battlefield dangerous. This is no game.”
“I remember what the cave looked like. If I came near it, I would recognize it.”
The emperor began to look interested. “I hear you are skilled at painting, more skilled even than the Cui family’s ninth young master. Could you paint the scene?”
I nodded. “Yes, Your Majesty.”
My confidence interested him further. He ordered a eunuch to bring brushes, ink, paper, and an inkstone.
Before the paper, I briefly closed my eyes and strained to recall the dream. When I opened them, I already knew how to frame the view.
I outlined it with pale ink, laid down washes with a wet brush, and used a dry brush for texture. Without pausing, I soon depicted waves crashing against the shore, rocks thrusting into the sky, and white sand spilling across the ground.
His Majesty initially seemed to admire my sure brushwork. As I finished, his expression gradually became grave. “Summon General Su.”
General Su had distinguished himself in the Goguryeo campaign and returned two months earlier.
The old general looked at the painting in astonishment. “Your Majesty, where did this come from?”
The emperor remained composed. “What does it show?”
General Su touched the paper lightly. Discovering the ink was still wet, his face changed. “This is the coast of North Pyeongan in Goguryeo, only a few dozen li from Pyongyang. I marched through this area and recognized it at once. Who painted this? Without having seen it in person, it would be almost impossible. No one who accompanied me on campaign could paint like this!”
Both the emperor and empress grew solemn.
His Majesty had a map brought and found the location I had painted. “The place where Master Pei was lost at sea is only ten li from here…” he murmured.
Hearing that, I dropped to my knees and bowed urgently. “Please, Your Majesty. Allow me to go!”
My aunt sighed. “It is ten thousand li from Chang’an. Even if His Majesty gives permission, what can you accomplish? If Qilang is alive, he will return and be reunited with you.”
“General Su,” the emperor suddenly asked, “if a commander who has never fought in Goguryeo could see illustrated maps like this before arriving at each location, how much would it help the campaign?”
The general’s eyes blazed. “Like giving wings to a tiger!”
My aunt looked up sharply. Their eyes met, and both seemed to understand something.
After General Su left, His Majesty took out a jade token and handed it to me. “Third Lady Xia, hear my command.”
I quickly held out both hands. “I receive Your Majesty’s command!”
“I appoint you a surveying envoy to Goguryeo. You will travel in secret. Wherever you go, draw the mountains and rivers in detail and add annotations. If you contact Pei Yao, general of the Left Martial Guard, he is to cooperate fully. Your illustrations are classified military intelligence. Destroy them rather than let them fall into enemy hands.”
Taking the token, I bowed deeply. “I obey!”
“I will arrange for internal guards to escort you at once. Ask Li Linhai to supply whatever you need. Even the duke’s household must know nothing. To the outside world… say you are remaining in the palace to keep your aunt company.”
That…
In the world’s eyes, one night in the palace was already enough to compromise me. If I “kept my aunt company” for months…
In everyone’s imagination, Pei Yao would be “grass spreading across the plain, withering and growing green each year.”
“Never mind. If we arrange it that way, the court will start chattering again. Better say she has shut herself away to worship the Buddha and pray for Qilang.”
His Majesty turned to my aunt. She was looking at him with a faint, knowing smile. Eventually he nodded. “The empress has thought it through more carefully.”
I let out a long breath.
On leaving the hall, I encountered Princess Xingyang again. I bowed, but she ignored me and asked the people beside her, “What new plaything has Father taken a fancy to lately?”
The chief eunuch, Li Linhai, cautioned her. “Their Majesties are inside. Please be careful what you say, Princess.”
She flicked her riding whip, tearing a piece straight off my skirt. Then she rolled her eyes, turned, and walked away.
I had no intention of arguing with her. I left through the Left Yantai Gate in a light carriage with few attendants.
Back home, I discovered that the handkerchief I had taken into the palace had vanished at some point.
Had I left it on the imperial bed?
At the thought, cold sweat broke out all over me.
In the dream, His Majesty had taken me into his harem. Now it appeared he still had the same intention. Could he have taken the handkerchief? Surely he would not stoop so low?
I spent several anxious days hearing nothing and finally managed to calm down a little.
A few days later, with the internal guards’ help, I climbed over the wall and left. A palace maid stayed behind, pretending to be “Seventh Young Master Pei’s wife” and chanting prayers for me all day.
Disguised as traveling merchants selling brushes, ink, paper, and inkstones, our party took the overland route straight toward Pyongyang.
I painted many landscapes along the way and imagined my reunion with Pei Yao over and over.
Yet no amount of imagining could have prepared me for how absurd, humiliating, and utterly unexpected that reunion would be.