chapter 3
chapter 3
I remembered seeing a white-haired Lu Guan in the rear courtyard of a Buddhist temple when we were both old.
Heavy snow fell that day. From the far side of the covered walkway, he watched me through the storm.
Many days after he left, I found a poem where he had stood.
An old love crosses the heart;
I turn, and mountains and rivers have already become autumn.
If longing lets us share the same falling snow,
perhaps we may still count it as growing old together.
That day, I had also seen his mother and sister at the temple. They disliked me for no reason, though I was nothing more than a stranger.
I was almost grateful that Lu Guan and I had only shared the snow, not a lifetime.
Some loves were overwhelming only when mountains and seas lay between them. Ground beneath the days and years of ordinary life, they could crumble into dust.
Three days after the wedding, only Mother and I remained at home again.
Yun Zheng’s twin brothers studied at East Mountain Academy. Mother owned a country estate at the foot of the mountain and usually lived there.
In my previous life, she had wanted to take me with her, but I refused. I stubbornly believed Yun Zheng would not abandon me. If I waited long enough, he would come home.
This time, I had no desire to wait. I packed early and followed Mother to the estate.
In autumn, the countryside looked like a landscape painting.
The maple forest behind the mountain blazed red. Persimmons hung from the trees like lanterns. A stream curved around the front of the estate, reflecting the blue sky. Pebbles were visible beneath the clear water, and white reeds swayed along its banks. Egrets stood in the shallows, occasionally pecking at small fish and sending ripples across the surface.
The estate was a modest two-courtyard home with white walls and dark tiles. It lacked the grandeur of the General’s Residence, but Mother had arranged every detail herself: flowers before the hall, bamboo behind the rooms, and koi in the little pond. It felt warm and free.
Mother and my two brothers-in-law occupied the rear courtyard. The front had been reserved for Yun Zheng and me.
She had already prepared two rooms on the west side for me. A cushioned couch stood by the window in the outer room, with a small mother-of-pearl table before it. Beyond the screen lay a warm inner chamber. The autumn wind had begun to chill, so the bed was thickly padded and piled with quilts.
Afternoon sunlight filtered through the gauze curtains, turning the entire room the color of honey.
Suddenly, I felt deliciously lazy. I wanted to do nothing and think of nothing. I only wanted a good sleep.
When the heart is free of needless cares, every season is the best season.
The next afternoon, a commotion in the front courtyard woke me from my nap.
When I arrived, Yun Ting and Yun Hui were kneeling side by side. Before them, a white crane flapped in panic, a small arrow lodged in its wing and blood staining its feathers.
Mother’s hand shook around her cane. “I sent you to the academy yesterday, and today you shot the headmaster’s crane—one he has raised for ten years!”
Even after a dozen blows, the boys hunched their shoulders and protested, “We thought it was a wild crane…”
“Wild, my foot!” Mother smacked one across the back.
I crouched to examine the bird. Fortunately, the arrow had pierced only flesh, not bone. I looked up at the nursemaid. “Bring the medicine chest from my room, and the Jade Complexion wound salve.”
My sister had given me that salve. Applied daily, it made the skin glow, but the snow lotus in it also made it excellent for healing wounds and preventing scars.
Mother stopped me. “That is far too precious. Keep it for yourself. Why waste it on a wild creature?”
“Mother, no matter how precious a thing is, it exists to be used.” I pressed her hand gently. “If the crane recovers, half the headmaster’s anger will disappear.”
A woman dressed to please the one she loved. These days, the only person I wished to please was myself, and the salve would otherwise sit unused.
Mother dropped into a chair, breathing hard, and pointed at the boys. “No food! Go kneel in the woodshed!”
I pulled the arrow from the crane, applied the salve, and bandaged its wing with clean cloth. The bird seemed almost human in its understanding. It watched me with black-bean eyes and fell quiet.
Once the crane was treated, Mother finally relaxed. Anger had made her dizzy, so I helped her back to her room to rest.
After she fell asleep, I had the kitchen make two bowls of hot noodle soup and took them to the woodshed.
Yun Ting and Yun Hui were kneeling side by side. Their eyes lit up when they saw me.
“Sister-in-law…”
“Shh.” I pushed the bowls into their hands. “Eat quickly, and wipe your mouths afterward.”
Yun Hui cradled his bowl, his eyes turning red. “You are not angry with us?”
“Of course I am.” I smiled. “Yun family archers are supposed to hit a target from a hundred paces. Your aim was so poor you could not even bring down a crane.”
Then I grew serious. “Be more careful from now on. No waving swords or shooting arrows outside the training ground. Tomorrow, you will apologize to the headmaster, and you will mean it. Understood?”
“Understood!”
Their heads bobbed like pounding pestles. They were so obedient I wanted to ruffle their hair. Nothing about them suggested the warriors whose names would one day strike terror into their enemies.
The red marks on their faces bothered me, though. I rubbed the remaining Jade Complexion salve over their cheeks and put the jar in their hands.
“Treat the rest of your injuries yourselves. Put plenty on your swollen bottoms. You do not want them keeping you out of class.”
Both boys flushed. “Sister-in-law!”
I walked away, suppressing my laughter.
Yun Zheng and I spent our lives in separate homes. Even after Mother died, I remained alone at the country estate and could not escape loneliness entirely.
Only these two brothers, with their wives and children, came to visit me often.
They truly were good boys.