chapter 4
For the first time in two lifetimes, I left Gu Xinlan’s courtyard.
I was thrilled and nervous in equal measure. I threw myself into every task, terrified that Eldest Young Mistress might send me back.
She truly was generous. Within days of my arrival, the Mid-Autumn Festival rewards were distributed. Even a low-ranking maid like me received an extra five hundred copper coins—an entire month’s wages.
I was beside myself with joy and cursed the rotten luck that had saddled me with Gu Xinlan in the first place.
The young maid who shared my room saw my enormous smile and grinned too.
“Eldest Young Mistress treats her servants better than anyone. You’ll see.”
I nodded in wholehearted agreement.
Eldest Young Mistress Gu Yue’an took after Madam Gu. She cared greatly about propriety. Aside from her wet nurse and the senior maids who had served her for years, she rarely spoke at length with servants like us.
But she was not extravagant, and Madam Gu quietly supplemented her allowance, so she always had money to spare.
She was considerate too. In addition to festival bonuses, she would give money whenever a servant’s family faced an emergency and came to ask for help.
She could not have been more different from Gu Xinlan.
After two months in Gu Yue’an’s courtyard, my purse was full for the first time. I could finally afford better medicine for my mother.
Gu Xinlan came several times to fish for information about her elder sister’s rooms. I brushed her off each time.
One day, I was putting away the paintings in Gu Yue’an’s room. I knew nothing about appreciating art, but the plum blossoms in one scroll were so lovely that I could not stop looking.
A voice sounded behind me.
“What are you looking at?”
Distracted by the inscription, I answered without thinking.
“This beautiful painting.”
I came to my senses with a start and turned. The eldest young master stood behind me, smiling.
I nearly died of fright and hurried to bow.
“Forgive me, Young Master. I became absorbed in the painting. I meant no disrespect.”
He was not angry. He merely pointed at the scroll.
“Can you read those words?”
I shook my head. “This servant cannot read.”
“Then why do you call the painting beautiful? What do you see in it?”
I groaned inwardly. How had one moment of distraction landed me in this predicament?
After searching for an answer, I said, “This servant knows nothing about flowers. I only feel that these plum blossoms are not stiff like the others. Flying through the snow, they seem free and unrestrained.”
The eldest young master laughed.
He pointed to the final characters in the signature.
“I’ll teach you a few words today.
“Gu Changping.”
I nodded and repeated them.
“Gu Changping.”
Then realization struck. Changping was the eldest young master’s courtesy name. He had painted the scroll himself.
I had been flattering him to his face. No wonder he kept smiling.
My face burned, and I lowered my head, too embarrassed to continue.
He studied me, then lifted my chin with his folded fan.
“I haven’t seen you before. Are you new?”
“I previously served in Third Young Mistress’s courtyard.”
“No wonder. You’re an interesting girl. Why not come to me instead?”
I looked up sharply.
He went on, “I will take you as a concubine. You won’t have to do servants’ work anymore.”
My emotions were tangled.
In my previous life, I had met him while delivering something. He had offered to take me as a concubine then too.
I had been overjoyed.
What did servants like us struggle for all our lives if not the chance to rise?
A concubine might not be a proper mistress, but she was still treated as one. She received two taels a month and had servants of her own. For a maid, it was a future beyond dreaming.
I had rushed to tell Gu Xinlan, certain she would be happy for me.
Instead, she was furious. She kept insisting that concubinage was degrading and that I should find a man who would love me, and only me, all his life.
“Could you truly bear to share your husband with other women?” she had asked. “Huaixia, I will find you a fine match and provide you with a rich dowry. You will marry with dignity as a proper wife!”
In truth, I did not mind sharing a husband with other women.
What woman did not have to?
But Gu Xinlan had refused so absolutely to let me become the eldest young master’s concubine that the matter died there.
Afterward, I waited for her to find the fine match she had promised—a man who would keep only one wife for life.
Until the day she threw me out of the estate, Gu Xinlan never mentioned it again.
She had destroyed the only chance I ever had to change my fate.
I forced down my excitement and lowered my head.
“This servant would never dare decide for herself. I will follow Eldest Young Mistress’s and Young Master’s wishes.”
Gu Changping smiled. “Don’t worry. I will speak to my younger sister. She won’t object.”
That very day, he told Gu Yue’an that he wished to take me as a concubine.
I feared she would be displeased, but she only looked at me with a faint smile.
“My elder brother treats the women in his household well. This is good fortune for you.”
She even set aside ten taels and chose a simple silver jewelry set for my dowry.
Overwhelmed with gratitude, I kowtowed three times. In my heart, I prayed that she would know peace and happiness all her life.
…
I never expected the news to reach Gu Xinlan so quickly.
When she came to Gu Yue’an’s rooms to find me, I stared at her in disbelief.
“Huaixia, you cannot become my elder brother’s concubine!”
The sight of her face filled me with irritation, but I forced myself to answer patiently.
“Young Mistress, it is my good fortune that Young Master favors me. I will no longer have to be a maid.”
Gu Xinlan looked appalled.
“Could you bear to share one man with so many women? True love means one man and one woman for life!”
She shook her head as though I were hopeless. “Refuse my brother at once. I promise I will find you a fine match. You will marry in splendor as a proper wife!”
Sometimes I truly could not understand how Gu Xinlan’s mind worked.
However imperfect the life of a concubine, was it not infinitely better than being a maid?
Why was she so determined to keep anything good from happening to me?
And what business was it of hers? I had already left her courtyard. Why did she still haunt me like a ghost?
I had no patience for another argument.
“Young Mistress, Eldest Young Mistress has already agreed. This servant cannot decide otherwise.
“If you object, perhaps you should speak to her.”
Gu Xinlan would never dare preach her madness about one lifelong couple to Gu Yue’an. She could only glare at me before sweeping away in anger.
I breathed a sigh of relief. At last, I thought, I was free of her.
I celebrated too soon.