Ghosts
The Courtesan Saint
Chapter 0
The storm had passed.
Uncle Xiong rolled off me, sated, pillowing his head on my arm as the tip of his nose nuzzled into the hollow of my neck.
“I know every girl at Golden Sand Beach has a story, Shaluo. I want to hear yours.”
“Sure. Do you want the long version or the short one?”
“The long one.”
The long version wasn’t that long, either.
You Really Know How to Do It, Don’t You?
I was a Little Blind One, and I met an Old Swindler.
To keep ourselves fed, the two of us pretended to be Daoist priests, making a living by conning our way into wealthy households.
That day, the General’s Mansion put up a notice seeking someone with profound magical power to enter the estate and catch a ghost.
The two of us gritted our teeth and immediately decided to go big or go home!
Who would have thought that, inside the General’s Mansion, more people died with each passing day?
Oh my god. There really was a ghost.
The Old Swindler trembled as he shielded me behind him.
The malicious ghost’s shriek pierced our eardrums.
Silently, I formed a hand seal. “Gather the baleful qi of heaven and earth, thunder descend!!”
Old Swindler: “??? Wait, you actually know how?!”
My Ghost Friend
Everyone knew that Fu Shengchao, the titan of the Beijing Circle, loved his wife more than life itself.
On the day she died in a car accident, his hair turned white overnight.
From then on, he grew more and more violent, and his relationship with his son became increasingly distant.
Father and son ended up treating each other like enemies.
Later, Fu Shengchao finally relented and agreed to find his son a stepmother.
I was among the candidates.
When our cooking skills were tested, everyone else presented delicacies fit for a banquet. I served a plate of stinky tofu.
When our talents were tested, everyone else showed off music, chess, calligraphy, and painting. I performed a set of tai chi.
When our knowledge of Fu Shengchao was tested, everyone else praised his abilities and glorious past achievements.
I leaned in and said, “CEO Fu, you have a mole on your left butt cheek.”
Fu Shengchao: “…”
That very night, I was kept behind.
Fu Shengchao pressed a gun to my temple, his expression cold.
“Talk. Who sent you?”
I dropped to my knees at once, but my eyes darted to the side.
Over there, a female ghost who had been dead for ten years was flying around in a panic. “That shouldn’t have happened! Everything I taught you was right!”
Bullshit! She also said her husband was cold on the outside but kind on the inside, and easy to coax!
Earth Master Girl 25: The Missing Fiancé
On the night before our engagement, my fiancé got a call from his first love.
He left without a word and vanished for the entire night.
Calmly, I packed my things and called him to break up.
But when the call connected, a stranger answered.
“Who are you looking for?”
I contacted my fiancé’s parents, but they told me they were DINKs. They had no children, and they didn’t know me.
Everyone around me had forgotten that my fiancé had ever existed.
I touched my slightly swollen belly, horror crashing over me.
“Then who is the father of this child?”
Soul-Whip 15: Cellar-Buried Wine
The owner of an antique shop came to me with a job: help him transport a batch of aged wine.
The wine had been hidden away in a deserted village for sixty years, sealed in massive jars, each one half as tall as a man.
On the day the cellar was opened, the fragrance carried for miles. Even the workers moving the jars felt light-headed from it.
But the young man selling the wine looked deathly pale. The moment he took the owner’s money, he refused to stay even one minute longer and hurried off.
That night, one of the workers secretly opened a jar.
When he was found the next day, his head was stuffed inside the wine jar. By the time they dragged him out, he was already dead.
Earth Master Girl 24: The Yin Guest Beneath the Lake
My dad was a “Yin Guest”-or, in plain terms, a grave tester.
When rich people picked out a burial plot, they would hire someone to spend a night there and see whether the gravesite was clean.
My dad had been in that line of work for years.
Until his last job. When he came home, his body was covered in livor mortis.
Yin-Yang Dog
I am blind, and I make my living reading feng shui.
That day, a seductive woman came to my fortune-telling stall and said she dreamed every night of a man coming to see her.
After I went to her home, the dog she kept caught my attention.
It was clearly a Yin-Yang Dog!
Soul-Whip 14: Are You Wearing Shoes?
A buddy of mine who drove a big rig had been tricked onto the dead-end road at the foot of Huai Mountain.
By the time I got the news, he had already gone missing.
His relatives were crying so hard they were on the verge of fainting.
I tried to comfort them. “That road had a Mount Tai Stone placed there to suppress it. Nothing too serious should happen.”
But one of the family members handed me a phone. On the screen was a photo of the Mount Tai Stone, split clean in two.
“Wang Cheng sent this back before he disappeared.”
Earth Master Girl 23: Shanxi Buddha Caves
Bootleg Black Wukong was all the rage among my classmates.
One of its scenic areas was called the Land of Mahayana.
Everyone who played it became obsessed and went there to check in.
But not a single one of them came back.
I received that pirated disc too.
What they didn’t know was that I was the only Earth Master successor.
Soul-Whip 13: Fish Food
Young Master Li loved eating fish.
Every month, he went through more than a dozen enormous fish, each longer than a grown man was tall.
Delivering fish for the Li Family should have been an easy, well-paying job, but in just three short months, seven or eight drivers had collapsed one after another.
When Peng You, the owner of the logistics company, came to me, his face looked downright sickly.
“Brother Long, this whole thing is just too damn strange. What we loaded onto the truck was definitely fish.”