Clever Protagonist

I was an emperor.

Now I have become another emperor.

But this one has made a miserable job of it.

The crown princess is sleeping with the imperial tutor in the Eastern Palace.

My daughter is imprisoned and humiliated in her own residence by her husband.

Even my favorite niece has been judged by the country-bred heir to the Marquis of Xuanyang: “Fit only for a concubine, never a wife.”

Well.

You are all remarkably brave.

How about we find out how sharp my executioner’s blade is?

This book is written for a female audience!!!

[A male lead who’s an aloof gentleman on the outside and a running commentary on the inside x a gorgeous, deadpan heroine who’s secretly a walking comedy act]

Other people transmigrate into novels as vicious supporting women or beautiful cannon fodder. Shi Liaoliao becomes the male lead’s personal valet.

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen the young master smile this happily.”

“This is the first time the young master has brought a woman home.”

“I’ve never seen the young master care this much about a woman.”

Once the male lead meets the heroine, all she has to do is deliver these three lines that shook the romance world, and her mission will be complete.

Until Shi Liaoliao discovers that the heroine she’s spent years waiting for is… herself.

.

Lu Yanzhou has never paid any attention to his mute, NPC-like little valet. Then, one day, a woman with an innocent facade comes to visit and shoves the valet.

The valet sits back on her heels on the floor, her expression unreadable, her eyes as still as an ancient well.

Lu Yanzhou nods inwardly, admiring that calm composure.

Until a voice suddenly rings out in his head the very next second.

[Fuck you. All I did was refuse to let you in last time! You’re even smaller-minded than Lu Yanzhou’s dick!]

Lu Yanzhou: “……..”

Don’t listen, little Lu. That’s a hate comment.

Bai Nianqiu transmigrates into a Mary Sue novel as its vicious supporting character. To stay alive, she casts herself as a pitiful girl suffering from unrequited love for the villain.

Neither the eighteen-year-old Yu Qi nor his twenty-six-year-old self could ever have imagined that one day, he would fall so completely for someone that desire would make a slave of him.

As a teenager, the aloof, sensitive Yu Qi catches her chin in his hand. Right in front of her fiance, the novel’s male lead, he says, with a casualness that leaves no room for argument, “Kiss me.”

And once he regains the memories of his darker self: “Jealous? What’s that? Love me or die. Your choice.”

Bai Nianqiu: Not even death can keep us apart.

Everyone calls Xie Qingwei the finest nobleman in Shengdu, and Jiang Zhiyu has perfected every virtue expected of a woman to win his family’s approval.

Then a vision shows her the miserable future awaiting her as his wife.

Determined to escape, she points to the impoverished Xue Shao and declares him the man she loves.

But securing a better marriage is only the beginning: in a world that gives women so few choices, Zhiyu may have to find a higher place of her own.

I was born with a honeyed tongue.

I knew how to win people over.

As a child, I coaxed my father’s wife from despising me into loving me as her own.

After I married, I charmed my icy mother-in-law into treating me like her own daughter.

But it didn’t work on my husband.

He had a woman he loved and could not have.

In two years of marriage, he had never so much as touched a finger of mine.

Once again, at my mother-in-law’s bidding, I took a nourishing soup to his study and tried to coax him into sharing my bed.

He shoved me away in disgust and flung the soup aside.

“Wen Xiaoxiao, spare me your honeyed words and hidden knives.”

“I’d sooner die than touch you.”

Oh, well.

There really was nothing I could do.

If he wouldn’t be charmed, I would simply have to charm someone else.

I’m the daughter of the heroine in an angsty novel.

When I was four, I finally understood those strange bullet comments:

[The heroine is still desperately staying up late, working to make money and support her daughter. She has no idea she already has cancer. If this drags on, her child is going to lose her mother!]

[If either the male lead or the female lead had just spoken up, there wouldn’t have been a “running away while pregnant” plot at all.]

[Their daughter is the real pitiful one. Her mother dies when she’s only six. The male lead never even learns the heroine died after giving birth to his daughter, and he spends the rest of his life alone.]

[And the most miserable one is our Xiao Bao. She obviously has a rich dad, yet she still gets sent to the orphanage…]

Mom was going to die?

I stared at my gentle, beautiful mother in shock. No way!

They may not speak up, but I do!

On a warm afternoon, outside an office building, I spotted a man in a sharp suit and threw my arms around his leg.

“Dad, send money! I need to save Mom!”

My husband brought home his “true love” and insisted on taking her as a concubine.

Tears of emotion filled my eyes as I clasped his true love’s hand and refused to let go.

“How could I possibly let you settle for being a concubine?

You can have my place as his lawful wife!

“Why don’t we make it a one-stop affair today—divorce for me, wedding for you!”

There was no time to waste.

The imperial decree ordering the confiscation of the family estate was already on its way!

I had been able to see the floating comments since I was very small.

They told me I would spend seven bitter years beside a fallen prince, only to be cast aside when he became emperor.

He would regret it when I was dying, turn back time, and treasure me in another life.

The comments told me to hold on.

But if happiness was certain, why couldn’t I have it in this life?

When the Fifth Prince fell from favor, I was the first maid to pay for a transfer.

The comments went wild.

Without me, how was their story supposed to continue?

My mother was a farm girl who couldn’t read a single character, yet she still supported my father all the way until he passed the provincial examination.

On the day my father married the Prime Minister’s legitimate daughter, my mother obediently became his equal wife.

My father thought my mother loved him, which made her easy to control.

My father’s principal wife thought my mother, born and raised in the countryside, could never be a match for her.

And so, beneath their contempt, my mother played the fool while hiding her claws, raising me into someone whose worth was beyond measure.

In the dead of night, only after I let out a satisfied sigh did Wei Che gently roll off me.

He had been putting in so much effort lately that I figured he was probably about to leave me.

With a faint sigh, I turned over and went to sleep.

After all, everyone knew it.

I was the most useless kind of lovesick fool.

When the sky wanted to rain and a man wanted to leave, what could I possibly do about it?

Beg him bitterly? Threaten suicide and make a scene?

That was what a real lovesick fool would do.

But I was a fake.

A long time ago, I had already understood one simple truth-

Everyone despised a lovesick fool.

Pretending to be one, however, was the advanced strategy.