Clever Protagonist

I divorced my ex-husband because he never knew when to stop talking.

Afterward, I decided to date a mute.

My sweet young boyfriend was obedient, attentive, and exactly my type.

One day, I went to pick him up from his university.

Outside his dorm room, however, I heard him talking to his roommate.

“Yu, how long are you planning to keep pretending?”

“Until I get bored.”

The day Grandpa’s legs were crushed, I knelt on the ground, kowtowing as I heard the thoughts of the people around me.

[The heroine is so pitiful. Shouldn’t we help her?]

[No! If we help her, how is Song Hansheng supposed to make his entrance? He’s my favorite male lead in a redemption romance!]

[Shen Song is the heroine’s true love!]

[Nonsense! The heroine is the wife I picked for my darling Jiang Yanbei!]

Later, those male leads really did enter my life, one after another.

They loved me, saved me, fought over me, and tried to force me into their arms…

But I hated this world, and I had no need to be saved.

My goal was to kill the male leads.

Before we married, I already knew my husband had a concubine he doted on.

It did not matter.

I was marrying into a great house to become its mistress.

Naturally, I could afford to be generous.

After the wedding, I put the marquis’s household in perfect order, and my reputation as a virtuous wife spread throughout the capital.

Whether that concubine had a brain in her head, I could not say.

She actually let people know that the marquis and I had never consummated our marriage.

She meant to humiliate me, to make me a laughingstock.

What she never imagined was that her little stunt would force my mother-in-law to send the marquis knocking on my door late one night.

After I was brought back to the household as its true-born daughter, my parents were full of guilt, and my brother doted on me.

Even the girl who had taken my place was truly kind and virtuous.

Tears on her lovely face, she knelt and bowed her head to me.

“I took your place and left you to suffer all those years.”

I smiled and said it was all right.

Then, before long, I ended up in the pond with her impeccably virtuous fiancé.

On Xianyu, I spotted an offer for a 3,888-yuan luxury buffet for just 188.

Half convinced, half suspicious, I placed an order.

The seller told me to wait outside the restaurant the next day.

So I did, like a good girl.

What arrived was a group of impeccably suited high-flyers.

It turned out to be their company outing, with family members allowed.

Apparently, I was family now.

At that point, all I could do was grit my teeth and follow them inside.

I was happily stuffing myself when someone told me we had to take turns toasting the boss.

I raised my glass too and stammered, “M-Mr.

Shih, a toast to you.”

The whole table fell silent.

Someone turned red trying to hold it in.

The boss’s handsome face darkened.

“It’s Shi.”

Three days after I married the Foolish Prince, he started making a fuss about moving out of the bedchamber.

I grabbed him and demanded to know why. Blushing, he stammered, “When Ah Heng sleeps with my wife, Ah Heng always wets the bed.”

My gaze slid downward, and realization struck me at once.

As I helped him, my own face burning, I couldn’t resist teasing him. “Only children wet the bed. Why is Your Highness just like a child?”

Later, the clingy fool recovered and became the cool, aloof prince he truly was.

Day and night, he pressed close to me, his breath warm against my ear. “Only children wet the bed, Princess Consort… Why are you just like a child?”

I was a terrible stickler for the truth.

When my husband returned from war, he brought a woman home.

The moment she saw me, she dropped to her knees and declared that she wanted to marry the marquis, even if she could only be his concubine.

I said nothing at the time.

But after tossing and turning until midnight, I could bear it no longer and knocked on her door.

My husband wasn’t the marquis.

The marquis in this household was my widowed father-in-law; my husband was only his third son, born to a concubine.

Her dimming eyes suddenly lit up at the word widowed.

After marrying the notoriously tyrannical emperor, I accidentally swapped bodies with him.

But the exchange wasn’t quite permanent.

By day, he dismissed officials.

By night, I rescued them.

He punished the consorts.

I soothed the beauties.

And he still had the nerve to snap at me.

“Which hand did you touch her with?”

Honestly.

Without me, this country would fall apart sooner or later.

Before my mother died, she left me a pair of love-gu.

She wanted me to use them on the young General Li when he returned to the capital in triumph.

He was the husband she had chosen for me after painstaking consideration.

And so I spent three years trailing after Li Wujin.

The cold, stern young general held me beneath the moon and said he would ask the emperor to grant us a marriage.

The next day, a eunuch arrived at our house with imperial decrees.

One was for me.

One was for my elder sister, the legitimate daughter.

She would soon marry Li Wujin.

I was promised to his deputy.

This book is written for a female audience!!!

[A male lead who’s an aloof gentleman on the outside and a running commentary on the inside x a gorgeous, deadpan heroine who’s secretly a walking comedy act]

Other people transmigrate into novels as vicious supporting women or beautiful cannon fodder. Shi Liaoliao becomes the male lead’s personal valet.

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen the young master smile this happily.”

“This is the first time the young master has brought a woman home.”

“I’ve never seen the young master care this much about a woman.”

Once the male lead meets the heroine, all she has to do is deliver these three lines that shook the romance world, and her mission will be complete.

Until Shi Liaoliao discovers that the heroine she’s spent years waiting for is… herself.

.

Lu Yanzhou has never paid any attention to his mute, NPC-like little valet. Then, one day, a woman with an innocent facade comes to visit and shoves the valet.

The valet sits back on her heels on the floor, her expression unreadable, her eyes as still as an ancient well.

Lu Yanzhou nods inwardly, admiring that calm composure.

Until a voice suddenly rings out in his head the very next second.

[Fuck you. All I did was refuse to let you in last time! You’re even smaller-minded than Lu Yanzhou’s dick!]

Lu Yanzhou: “……..”

Don’t listen, little Lu. That’s a hate comment.