Blind Dates
Bad Dog
The first time I met Li Shuyu…
He had black hair, black clothes, and black-rimmed glasses.
He looked ascetic and buttoned-up.
Only after spending some time with him did I realize just how wrong I had been.
This seemingly aloof man would take off his glasses at night,
put in his lip stud and tongue stud, and say thickly,
“Don’t tremble, jiejie.”
The Professor Is Too Gentle
On the night I married Lu Boya, my buddies warned me, “Professor Lu is a refined scholar with a delicate constitution. You’d better be gentle with him!”
I gave them a ferocious grin. “Gentle? Not happening. This lady has plenty of strength-and plenty of tricks!”
The next day, my voice was hoarse and my eyes were swollen as I shouted at Lu Boya, who stood there in a crisp suit and gold-rimmed glasses.
“Liar!”
Refined scholar? Delicate constitution? All lies!
Bizarre Blind Date
I was forced to go on a blind date.
To make the guy back off on his own, I made something up. “I’m infertile.”
The handsome man across from me looked surprised. “Well, what do you know? So am I.”
So I simply took off my coat, revealing the skintight Wangzai shirt underneath.
He raised an eyebrow and stuck out one foot, showing off his golden Chelsea boot.
Me: “…”
I’d met my match.
