Blind Dates
Bad Dog
The first time I met Li Shuyu…
He had black hair, black clothes, and black-rimmed glasses.
He looked ascetic and buttoned-up.
Only after spending some time with him did I realize just how wrong I had been.
This seemingly aloof man would take off his glasses at night,
put in his lip stud and tongue stud, and say thickly,
“Don’t tremble, jiejie.”
Bizarre Blind Date
I was forced to go on a blind date.
To make the guy back off on his own, I made something up. “I’m infertile.”
The handsome man across from me looked surprised. “Well, what do you know? So am I.”
So I simply took off my coat, revealing the skintight Wangzai shirt underneath.
He raised an eyebrow and stuck out one foot, showing off his golden Chelsea boot.
Me: “…”
I’d met my match.
The Professor Is Too Gentle
On the night I married Lu Boya, my buddies warned me, “Professor Lu is a refined scholar with a delicate constitution. You’d better be gentle with him!”
I gave them a ferocious grin. “Gentle? Not happening. This lady has plenty of strength-and plenty of tricks!”
The next day, my voice was hoarse and my eyes were swollen as I shouted at Lu Boya, who stood there in a crisp suit and gold-rimmed glasses.
“Liar!”
Refined scholar? Delicate constitution? All lies!
