Apartment Life
After the Neighbor Borrowed My Life
Over the weekend, while I was out grocery shopping, someone shoved a red envelope into my hand.
Inside was a note: [Three years of your life have been borrowed. If you pass this on or drop it in a merit box, your entire family will perish.]
Clutching the 900 yuan, I chuckled and chased after the person.
“Are you sure you want to try life‑borrowing from me?”
She shot me a glare, barked “Psychopath!” and spun around to bolt.
I couldn’t help but smile. To think someone actually had the nerve to try life‑borrowing from one of the Living Dead.
The Neighbors Next Door Are Driving Me Quackers
A couple lived next door to me, and they were like tinder and flint-always ready to ignite.
Every night, their loud, frantic wailing kept me from getting a wink of sleep.
I tried reasoning with them, I tried cursing them out, and I even called the police, but nothing worked.
So, I decided to start pursuing his wife.
On Valentine’s Day, I went out of my way to tuck a small note inside a bouquet of roses: “Your husband hasn’t found out about us yet, has he?” Then, her husband absolutely blew his top.
